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Original poster

Are your older/adult children happy?

7 replies

thecatinthetwat · 26/08/2023 14:43

Have your children become happy adults? If so, what do you think you did to encourage or support this?

If you had some difficulties along the way, or troublesome periods eg in the teenage years, it would be great to hear that you came out the other side.

please share your positive experiences.

OP posts:
UsingChangeofName · 27/08/2023 00:19

Yes, mine are.
Well one stresses more than the others, but is still happy overall.

I reckon the fact that we encouraged them to have fun and try things when offered.
I reckon encouraging them to make the most of the situation they are in, and look for / notice all the good things they have or they see rather than always thinking someone else is getting something they haven't got.
Encouraging and teaching them how to get on with people.
Teaching them about resilience, and that we all have ups and downs in life. Sometimes that what seems bad news can lead to a different path which might be a better one.
Fostering the 'glass is half full' rather than 'half empty' attitude in life.

GoodAsHell · 27/08/2023 00:20

UsingChangeofName · 27/08/2023 00:19

Yes, mine are.
Well one stresses more than the others, but is still happy overall.

I reckon the fact that we encouraged them to have fun and try things when offered.
I reckon encouraging them to make the most of the situation they are in, and look for / notice all the good things they have or they see rather than always thinking someone else is getting something they haven't got.
Encouraging and teaching them how to get on with people.
Teaching them about resilience, and that we all have ups and downs in life. Sometimes that what seems bad news can lead to a different path which might be a better one.
Fostering the 'glass is half full' rather than 'half empty' attitude in life.

Love this x

HamBone · 27/08/2023 00:37

UsingChangeofName · 27/08/2023 00:19

Yes, mine are.
Well one stresses more than the others, but is still happy overall.

I reckon the fact that we encouraged them to have fun and try things when offered.
I reckon encouraging them to make the most of the situation they are in, and look for / notice all the good things they have or they see rather than always thinking someone else is getting something they haven't got.
Encouraging and teaching them how to get on with people.
Teaching them about resilience, and that we all have ups and downs in life. Sometimes that what seems bad news can lead to a different path which might be a better one.
Fostering the 'glass is half full' rather than 'half empty' attitude in life.

Excellent advice, @UsingChangeofName we try to do the same with our two (18& 15) and it seems to work.

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Families
my82my · 27/08/2023 01:46

My son (21) seems pretty happy.

No idea where he gets it from because I can be a bit of a downer but he's always been very smiley! The class clown and very funny.
He also personally stays away from anything negative. So if a sad story came on the news he is genuinely baffled as to why you'd carry on watching. When I spoke to him about this he said if there's nothing you can do to help then what's the point of letting negative things be apart of your life. (I'm not convinced but hey ho)

He always did well in school and is very bright. I really encouraged (pushed) to do well in exams and this has landed him a great job with a high salary for his age. So that helps. He is also very confident and has a lovely girlfriend.

I think for the most part it's in his nature to see the bright side (again that definitely isn't me.) I was worried at the beginning of lockdown that it would be really miserable for his age group... He taught himself how to do a backflip and didn't seem to give two hoots.

HamBone · 27/08/2023 02:11

I also think it’s good to encourage a sense of personal responsibility and ensure that they understand that working towards goals and ambitions is for themselves, not to please their parents. I don’t mean be a pushy parent, but let them know that it’s good to have goals and make future Of course, goals/plans change, but if they’ve got something to aim for, it helps. DD, for example, knew that she wanted to go to university and study a STEM subject, and she’s made it happen. Not to please us, to please herself.

Yey · 27/08/2023 03:28

DS is happy, he is doing a degree apprenticeship and has a long term GF who is lovely, he also has a nice friendship group. One group from his childhood and another with the other apprentices. He was very good at sport and does still play football sometimes.

He will be moving in with his GF in the New Year sometime.

MintJulia · 27/08/2023 03:31

My ds is 15 and has always been happy, so far.

I left ex when ds was 2, so our current life is all ds can really remember. He sees his dad every week for a few hours. He has had the same home since he was 3 which I think gives consistency. I haven't partnered up so he hasn't had to cope with that, and he knows he can always rely on me.

I've always taught him that we can deal with any situation. Reassured him I have complete faith in his abilities, that there is a place in the world for everyone, and he will have a good future.

I found him a small academic school where he would fit and feel comfortable. I've made sure he has skills that allow him to join in - swimming, cycling, skiing, karate. I listen to his views and try to accommodate them. Being a single full-time working mum, it's sometimes hard to find the money, it's always a bit of a balancing act but DS is calm, sensible and growing in confidence. He's also kind.🙂

It helps that he doesn't like or use social media/tiktok.

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