You lovely lot that are good at Round Robins- I need help!

[pinkiepudding]

DD is off to university in a few weeks, and a little daft thing that we sometimes do is pretend to be aristocracy, sort of regency style, and bemoan our problems.

I want to send her a little note or postcard every so often updating her on the Estate. So I'm thinking of telling her of the terrible problems the stable boy had when he took Bessie for new shoes, or the parcel that the Butler had delivered that was completely the wrong thing, or that Mrs Fortesque-Smyth has had to convalesce at the seaside after her Mary was caught with the butchers boy...

I know you lot are so creative, can you give me some more ideas?

Thank you

My dearest, we faced quite the calamity! The East Wing ran out of Earl Grey! Thankfully, the West Wing still had some stock, and thus a feud between wings was narrowly avoided.

Today, the kitchen staff attempted to make a trifle with gooseberries instead of strawberries. The results were, as you can imagine, rather tart! Sir Reginald had to take a moment in his chambers to recover.

Dm used to do this for dsis. She'd choose a different topic each term and send her a series of postcards pretending to be someone from the topic, normally from a book or similar.

I think you might find Flanders and Swan's song "Sounding Brass" helpful for ideas. I remember wondering what the "Potted Jellies" were that he lost-of course it was "Botticellis":

Society frowns at blowing one's own trumpet
But we've a game that merits no rebuke
If someone's got a tub, we're going to thump it.
It's more fun than playing polo with the Duke.
The object is to Gunga-din your neighbour
"I'm a better man than you"'s the acid test
So man the good ship one-up
Let's do a social ton-up
And bang our status symbols with the best

Playing on the status symbols
Laying out the ready cash
Bigger, Better, Newer, Smarter
Hear the status symbols clash

My phone number's ex-directory
Should you wish to make a call
Mine's even more exclusive
(More exclusive?)
I won't have a phone at all

You could always try cabling me, Mick Flan, England

I have colour television
Though it can't receive a thing
I've a midget tape recorder
Hidden in my cygnet ring
(Hidden in my cygnet ring)
I've laundress comes in daily
To my flat in Marble Arch
All my laundry's flown to Cairo
(Flown to where?)
Where they don't use so much starch.
I believe my butler's butler
Has appeared on Face to Face
I lost both my Botticellis
When they robbed my country place
I've been asked to sing at Salzburg
In next year's Fidelio
I've been asked to screen Lord Denning:
For security, you know.
My car registration number's
'1111 V I P'
All my garage doors fly open
When I murmur 'Sesame'
My car horn goes Ah-E Ah-E
Your car horn goes Ah-Ah-Ah
I've just bought a Mini super
(Bought a what?)
A Mini Super
Oh yes, I've got one in my boot.

Playing on the status symbols
Laying out the ready cash
Bigger, Better, Newer, Smarter
Hear the status symbols clash

Hell has just been taken over
By a friend of Charlie Clore's *
We've acquired a private furnace
Bigger, Hotter, Far than yours.

Fabulous, thank you!
Any one else got any ideas?

Bump!

You need a developing romance over several letters between two likeable unlikely or low status members of the household. Begin gently suggestive and gradually reveal more.
‘Cook complains that Jane the scullery maid was talking to the gardener’s boy for quite an age when he came to drop off the cucumbers for our sandwiches for tea with Lady W. I cannot think what they have to talk about.’

My dear I don’t like to worry you but I must tell you that the Estate has gone into marked decline while you’ve been away. For one thing the cook has been out of sorts - we’ve no idea why, although I heard the butcher’s boy sauced her when he delivered the meat this week (and she boxed his ears well you may be sure!) - but whatever the cause, the breakfast kedgeree has been decidedly below par these past few weeks. Meanwhile, I don’t like to tell tales out of school, but I’m sure the under-gardener has been making eyes at Betty the housemaid. I do hope something can come of it, for he’s a handsome chap in his way, and at 18 she’s nearly on the shelf! Well, I’ll sign off now, as I must dress for Lady Wardington-Smythe’s musicale evening - dear Jane is polishing my third best tiara as we speak in readiness, she really is a treasure.

Oh great minds think alike - definitely a romance with a maid and junior gardener 😂

These are brilliant, thank you!

I am considering a little sojourn to Bath to take the waters. I'm quite sure that my entire wardrobe will need updating before we take the coach (or should we invest in a barouche with the family crest?). I digress.
Can you recommend a couturier and milliner that isn't as provincial as Madame Jones here in Pinkietown? I'm quite sure that I will be the laughing stock of Ton if I attend the Assembly Rooms in one of her creations!

These are great, @HelloViroids please write a book 😬

Thank you!