Would you let the new school know? Not sure I’ve given good advice!

[Spareincoming]

My SIL has just rung to ask my advice as a teacher but her question is beyond my experience so I’m asking here instead. She knows this!
My DN starts primary school shortly, In reception and the family has had some struggles over the summer (grandparent diagnosed with terminal illness, elder step-sibling significant mental health deterioration) which have seen behavioural changes and toileting regressions in the youngest.
My SIL wanted to know if I thought she should let the new school know in advance.
I suggested she sent an email outlining the basics and explained she would send in a change of clothes etc even though dn might be totally fine at school but forewarned is forearmed for her teacher rather than telling them on day 1.
Not sure this is the right answer!

I think that sounds very sensible, I worked in Early Years for many years and we would have really appreciated being made aware of any issues. Also very sensible to email in advance as it is so busy the first day with so many little ones.

It will be good for the school to know but having spare clothes in Reception is normal (and usually required). There is always a massive pile of spare pants in the school too.
They expect accidents at that age.

I think the school should know. Requests to go to the toilet may be more often than is usual for someone your DNs age.

Yes definitely the right answer. We often have parents emailing in to let us know of things like this and it really helps the teachers manage behaviour and treat more gently if necessary.

You did the right thing - at least they know.

Yours sounds like a good answer to me, and I agree reception children should be sent in with spare clothes regardless.

An email will be fine but she might not get a response straight away which could be a bit disheartening when she’s shared sensitive personal information and is seeking reassurance about her child. It might be worth making her aware that it might go unread for a couple more weeks and if she’d prefer to take the teacher to the side on the first day to talk in person then that would be fine too.

Sounds like a perfect answer - it means they're alert to any distress or behaviour possibly having an emotional cause beyond standard starting school responses or being interpreted as potential SEND - and they can plan monitoring/support for her in case either of the relatives deteriorate over the term.

Definitely the right advice. I'm early years not primary but open communication between parent and teachers can only benefit the child. Email is best too as a little chat at the door on the first day is too stressful and every possibility the teacher will come away frantically trying to remember which parent said it.