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DD so sad about leaving nursery to start school

7 replies

Frodedendron · 24/08/2023 09:55

My DD is really sad about leaving the private nursery she has attended since she was 1 to start school. She's 4.5 now. I obviously knew it would be a big transition but she seems unusually distressed about it coming to an end. We've been so lucky with her nursery, they are lovely, they've had really good staff retention and some of the staff and children have been there since she started, unfortunately only one other child is going to her primary school so it's a lot of goodbyes at once.

Added to the mix is that my DD is a bit of an old soul, she's very thoughtful and considered and I think on some level she recognises it's the end of this chapter with no going back. She continually asks me how many days she has left, tells me how sad she is and lists who she will miss and has now started crying whenever we talk about it, she seems heartbroken.

I don't think it's about the fear of school, I've been really positive about it, she visited and really liked it, and she seems excited to start. I think she's just really sad to be saying goodbye. Is there anything I can do to ease this transition? Just ride it out?

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/08/2023 09:57

Let her be sad, sympathise, but don't ruminate about it with her. She's going to have a lot of transitions to deal with in life. She'll be fine.

MargaretThursday · 24/08/2023 10:03

DD1 always struggled with transitions, even when she knew that she liked the new teacher more than her current one.
I always sympathised, pointed out some advantages of the new one. Normally she was okay once she'd started.
She's an adult and still would prefer things to stay the same; it's part of her personality.

Frodedendron · 24/08/2023 10:04

@Aquamarine1029 You're right, I feel quite emotional about it myself but I have been very mindful not to show it to DD. She could be picking up on my own feelings though.

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rainbowstardrops · 24/08/2023 11:10

It's perfectly normal to be emotional around transitions. I'm sure she'll be absolutely fine once she starts school and makes new friendships but in the meantime, support her and empathise but also encourage lots of positive points too.

Daisylookslost · 25/08/2023 20:23

My LO will miss their preschool too, and only just turned 4 to go to school in 2 weeks! It is sad, but all good things come to an end. And an exiting chapter beginning. Agree with Aqua don’t ruminate with her. Focus on the positives and exciting new challenges of school!
(nb I think my LO doesn’t realise they’ve left preschool for good.. your LO certainly seems very mature and emotionally literate which will serve her well in ‘big school’ x)

Baba197 · 27/08/2023 15:46

Totally normal, it’s a huge change. I will say that yr r teachers go out of their way to help with settling in and lots of fun activities, my son was full of stories about what they’d done and really enjoyed it…. He’s not so keen on going into yr 1 but that’s a different story!!

gemma19846 · 27/08/2023 20:34

No different to any other child every single year. She will be fine. She will be the same when she leaves primary school too. Thats life. Tell her shes too big for nursery now. By xmas she would have forgotten about her nursery friends

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