Driving instructor issues

[Lyxou]

DD has been having driving lessons for 18 months with the same instructor. She was booked in for a test in April, but her instructor said she wasn't ready and wouldn't let her take the test in her car, fair enough, we cancelled.

She now has another test booked in a couple of weeks, but the instructor keeps talking as though she's taking the test in our car, even though my DD keeps correcting her and telling her that she's taking it in the instructors car. The only reason we cancelled the last one was because we want her to do it in the instructors car, and it's partly why I'm spending a fortune on proper driving instructor lessons.

She also keeps telling DD that she needs to make us take her round all the test routes, but we don't know the test routes, can't teach her (don't mind sitting in while she's driving, but I've no idea what mistakes are minors/majors etc) and the test centre is a 30 minute drive away. Also, even though she's insured to drive one of our cars, it was only ever to give her a bit of top up practice when we were already driving somewhere. We both work full time, and currently snowed under with other life stuff (death in family, other children etc.), and we don't have time to take her over to the test centre city - it takes about 2 hours all told, so a whole evening really. We have plenty of money, so happy to pay the instructor for extra lessons/longer lessons, which I've repeatedly asked for but they've never materialised. I'm just wondering what the instructor is playing at? It's making my DD confused and panicky about the test, and the instructor keeps implying that she's lazy for not making us take her to the test centre city for practice in our car, even though it is entirely our fault because we don't have time. DD can drive fine but she is a nervous driver. I'm getting increasingly annoyed with the way the instructor is treating my lovely DD, and don't know what to do.

Sounds like the instructor might be worried about preserving their pass rate/first time pass rate. It only applies to their vehicle. It shouldn’t really matter (it’s not publicly available information for obvious reasons) but if they’re not an independent instructor or have a standards check coming up they might be worried about it. That’s no excuse for putting pressure on your DD though.

If time and money aren’t concerns I’d recommend finding a new instructor. I was a nervous driver myself so I looked for one who said they specialised in anxious drivers. My instructor had a wealth of past student anecdotes which made me feel better - my driving was bad but I never panicked so much that I tried to get out of the car whilst moving at 30mph!

As for the test routes the instructor should be telling your DD about them as they practice. It’s possible she’s not taking in the roads (I found they all blur together when you’re concentrating on driving) but certain roundabouts/junctions/passing places will be likely to come up and a good instructor would make sure she’s very familiar with them.

Sounds like you need to speak to the instructor and explain you can't take her out on your car and she will be taking the test in their car. In case you do get the time though, you can look up all the test routes for each test centre online.

I'd get her booked in with another instructor to gauge how well she is doing. 18 months of lessons is a lot. DVSA recommend 45 hours of instructor lessons with an additional 22 hours of private practise. That can be excessive but is designed to give learners a lot of different meeting situations, junctions, roundabouts etc. If a driving instructor has a run of failed test takers they are reassessed as an instructor which is why the instructor is suggesting your DD take it in one of your cars. To be honest the instructor might be shit which is why it is taking so long and why she is worried. Book your DD in with another instructor to see what they make of her driving. We paid a premium for Ds with a high pass rate, highest rated instructor. Ds passed first time. But we also took him out in our car too. We made time for that because each 2 hour lesson was costing £75.

Secondly, Youtube, there are lots of great driving instructors with mock tests and they commentate on the drive, things they do well and when they go wrong what they should have done. That is a great resource for learning for free. Good ones we have found, Clearview and DGN plus Conquer Driving for general info too.

She really needs to practice outside of lessons, it's probably why it's taken 18 months so far

I feel a bit sorry for your daughter that you are not helping her. It also sounds like her instructor isn't great.

Will she have a car when passes her test?

I'd book in with a different instructor. Like pp said 18 months is a long time learning to drive.
Find a reputable instructor in your area and book her in with them

I can't understand why you've persisted with this instructor. And you honestly can't spare ONE evening to help and support your daughter achieve something valuable?! Unless you both work nights every night it's not possible.

Sorry, I didn't explain very well. DD drives with us loads, she does the driving to her hobby (30 minutes away) on a Tuesday and Thursday, then drives her sister to her hobby on a Mon &Wed (with us accompanying, obviously). She'll also drive on a weekend to wherever we're going as well. She has done shit loads of driving with us, and we do go to the test centre city about once a week, but that's not enough apparently. The instructor isn't complaining that we don't take her out, she's complaining that we don't take her to the city where the test centre is enough.

I do take on board though that may be all of us need to ditch our hobbies for the next couple of weeks and carve out some time to take her over to that city more often.

I also take on board that I should have ditched this instructor ages ago. She came highly recommended though, with a very high first time pass rate, but it's only just dawning on me that her good pass rate is just because she won't let people take their test in her car unless she 100% thinks their going to pass.

I don't think she's necessarily a bad instructor, but she's not right for DD. She picks at every little thing, which is good in some ways, but it just saps my DDs confidence. She has had a few lessons with another instructor in June/July, when her current instructor suddenly went off grid and we couldn't get in touch with her (turned out she was ill). It was really difficult to find anyone with space, most instructors were booked up with waiting lists, but I eventually found a middle aged gentleman, who was much more chilled out and calmer than her current instructor. He's been having trouble with his car though, and can't replace it in time for her test, so can't use his car (maybe he's making excuses as well though due to her nervousness)

As suggested by PP, I decided to message her about the situation. I did that a few hours ago and she hasn't replied. I am starting to think that she's basically trying to bully my DD into doing it in our car.

I think I'll have to stick with her, hope she'll let DD use her car (I can't believe it really, I assumed pretty much everyone did the test in their instructors car!). If not, she'll have to do her best in our car. If she fails, she's going to have to stop for a while anyway because she's leaving for uni, but if she's home for any length of time, I'll either contact the male instructor, or I'll find someone who specializes in nervous drivers.

It's a right pain , I thought she would have passed about a year ago, although it does seem that my DH and all his family struggled with driving - it took all of them years and multiple fails. They're all either surgeons or engineers in their day job though!

You might just as well let her take the test in your car in 2 weeks - what have you got to lose other than the test fee? Plenty of people take it in their own cars. It's surely worth a go, and then you can reassess after that if she fails. BTW Youtube has routes if you had time to go to the test centre in the next couple of weeks before her test.

I'll have a look at YouTube, didn't think of that. I found some web pages with explanations of routes but it was taking me forever to work out where any of the roads were, and even then l didn't have a clue what these roads looked like once I was in the car.

I know so many people having issues with instructors recently, I started with an instructor after waiting a year for lessons and this week after 10 lessons he essentially ghosted me and made out he wanted to retire and that he didn't have to continue lessons, no clue where to find another instructor from, can't get any of my money back and he seems to now have done it to several people! Why take on learners if you aren't going to teach! He also rearranged 7 out of 10 of the lessons last minute which got me in trouble at work.

Tell the instructor to leave it there and then book your DD in with another instructor. You and your DD don’t need that nonsense.

She's completely ignored the message I sent yesterday morning.

That says it all really. Just seems to be somebody that doesn’t know how to communicate very well and just likes to mess people about.

If you and DD still feel she needs lessons, as I said, I would just ask another instructor. If you both feel she is ready for the test, then as PP
have suggested, you could let her use your car for the test.

When is the next lesson? I wonder if she wants to discuss your message with your DD instead of you at the next lesson.

I'm pretty sure that there's an app you can get which shows all the driving test routes and it was only about £5 a month . . .

Definitely change instructors, she sounds so negative and not supportive at all.

dd only had lessons with the instructor before her test, as did ds, dd had the option to use our car but didn’t want to. She just wanted to concentrate on her instructors car.

Hopefully your daughter will pass her test in a couple of weeks. If she doesn’t, get a new instructor. When ds was learning, we had issues with his instructor not turning up, being late etc. I persevered for a while but then ds didn’t seem to want to go on his lessons. He’d been learning 8 months at this point, with no mention of a test date. I changed his instructor and after two lessons, he was told to book his test. If it doesn’t feel right, change instructors.

Let her take the test in your car. She should know all.the test routes anyway if she was going to be taking it in April. You can sit in the back, might help with the debrief afterwards if she can't remember what happened.

You shouldn't be having this much hassle tbh. You are paying the instructor to do a job and its bloody expensive. I would have sacked her ages ago.

Either let your daughter take her test and hopefully she will pass. If she's not ready, get a new instructor and check the reviews. Good luck.

This might be the case. She does seem to only want to speak to DD and not me, which I'm now thinking is because it's easier to push around a young 17/18 year old

She's definitely going to take the test on the 8th, even if she has to do it in our car. She can drive fine. We don't have a second rearview mirror though, but I might buy one just in case.

As much as I know, its that every fail goes against the driving instructors badge they hold. And if they have too many fails, they get investigated.
So if a few students have failed recently with her, I can understand why she would do this.

Also, some people just aren't great at getting back to people. In their work, and in life.
Is she a full time instructor or just part time?

All things to consider.
I failed 2 tests and passed 3rd time.
I couldn't tell you the heartbreak at 18 when they told me id failed each time. Complete elation when I passed though!
So maybe its also doing your daughter a favour, waiting til shes ready.

Also, your DD 100% needs to spend more time doing the test routes!

I’m not sure what approach is the best: talking to the instructor before the lessons or after the lesson or coaching DD what to say. However I see nothing wrong in principle in reminding her that it is you who is paying for lessons so you have a clear interest in what’s going on. And you can always tell her that you’ve asked around and you surprised at her approach and it’s not what is mentioned in her online page/reviews. I assume she has an online page as all driving instructors, read it carefully and remind her about it.
Also I’m surprised that you are still not sure about using her car for the rest. I thought that when you are booking a test you put in which car you will be using. At least it’s like this before, has it changed?

She's been driving for a fair while, so think she needs to give the test a go. Just check she's covered for the test with examiner in your car, if not she can get temporary insurance for the day which will cover that aspect. You can't cover every test route (apparently 19 in our area) but you can search for test routes online in your town/city. If she's going to do it in your car, on days you don't feel like going out with her, use it as time to look over your car for the show me/tell me questions she'll have about the car. Also, she might need to order a mirror for examiner. Your DD could look at google maps herself to see if she can pick up any tricky junctions.

DD has just taken her test in our car as driving instructor was away. We're a bit out of town, but have tried to take her around a few roads she's not familiar with, although her test ended up being somewhere else totally.

Just buy a 2nd rear view mirror in Halfords and take the test in your car. She's done loads of driving, it just sounds like the instructor is saying she's not familiar enough with the test routes.

Hopefully she'll pass but if she doesn't then think about a change of instructor. We changed DD1s instructor as the woman was a bit flaky and DD wasn't really progressing