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Original poster

Can you get over infidelity?

14 replies

julietlondon · 23/08/2023 02:21

Just that really. My H tried to have an affair multiple times and never succeeded due to the other woman not being interested.

He didn't actually have a physical relationship due to the other party not being the slightest interested. What H did was follow them around the office, creep them out, came home and told me for years he has been harboring sexual attraction to a coworker and some others.

This 5 years ago, and things have never been the same.

How do I let go of the betrayal and hurt?

OP posts:
OilOfRoses · 23/08/2023 03:23

Some women seem to but I don't think I ever could.

ElizaMulvil · 23/08/2023 03:27

No, it's over.

Mmhmmn · 23/08/2023 03:33

You can only conclude from that that he would have had an affair if at all possible and put your sexual health at risk, and that given the opportunity in future, he will cheat. You'll never forget he did this. You might be able to forgive him - only you know that.

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Relationship problems
Oblomov23 · 23/08/2023 03:43

I couldn't forget.

WandaWonder · 23/08/2023 03:51

With this bloke it is not the cheating but the creepiness I could not get over

WandaWomblesaurus · 23/08/2023 10:32

I wouldn't put yourself through that.

www.btr.org

That's a nice resource for podcasts about recovery from betrayal trauma.

X

FiveShelties · 23/08/2023 10:35

I would let go of him before I let go of the hurt. I could not trust him again.

Mindymomo · 23/08/2023 10:38

My friend took her husband back and they seem happy now, her DH actually left her for a lady who worked next door to his office and they split for around 9 months. They have 3 grown up children with grandchildren now and we’re surprised their children forgave him.

Hbh17 · 23/08/2023 10:41

Plenty of people do, but you have to really want to forgive. If not, then you will struggle.

Notjustabrunette · 23/08/2023 10:42

i think it is possible, but is dependent on a lot of different factors. I think I would find it hard to get past his creepy behavior, the fact that he told you he fancies someone else and he doesn’t come across as remorseful about the situation or that he’s done anything wrong?

Changingplace · 23/08/2023 10:43

No I couldn’t get over this, your DH is a massive creep, ugh no I’d leave.

Flutterbye22 · 23/08/2023 10:44

I think it is possible if the person is remorseful and apologetic and they’re able to demonstrate an understanding of the impact it’s had. There needs to be a willingness from both parties to commit to a future relationship and heal together.

agree with other posters that his behaviour is very creepy and I’m out off by that.

Flutterbye22 · 23/08/2023 10:45

Flutterbye22 · 23/08/2023 10:44

I think it is possible if the person is remorseful and apologetic and they’re able to demonstrate an understanding of the impact it’s had. There needs to be a willingness from both parties to commit to a future relationship and heal together.

agree with other posters that his behaviour is very creepy and I’m out off by that.

put off**

WandaWomblesaurus · 30/08/2023 12:58

You deserve much better than this. That's years of torture otherwise. It doesn't get better, especially when the unfaithful partner isn't doing hard and serious work on himself.

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