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Original poster

Do you hold back from saying nice things on SM?

7 replies

StupidHip · 22/08/2023 20:22

I have a real "if you can't say anything nice...." policy for SM but do make an effort to say something nice, when there's something nice to be said.

I've been away for the weekend with a mixed group of friends. One of the men is married, he's been on these trips a few times, his wife doesn't enjoy them and is happy to send him on his own.

One of the photos of him is really good. He's not a traditionally good looking bloke, but there's something of the film star about this particular picture. (I didn't take it, someone else has posted it).

He's a modest sort and always very well behaved on our trips, he'd have enjoyed the compliment, I think, but I didn't say it in case it seemed off to his wife.

Which was the right thing to do?

OP posts:
Needanewname44 · 22/08/2023 20:26

I'd have just said, "great photo of you". And passivity made sure I commented on other photos too, of others in the group, if I was paranoid and wanted to put wife's mind at rest...

LubaLuca · 22/08/2023 20:30

Yeah if it were normal for me to pass comment then I'd give a general 'great pic' and not mention the film star good looks. He could be embarrassed to think that you'd bothered to assess his looks like that, never mind what his wife might think.

Original poster
StupidHip · 22/08/2023 20:32

Yes, my gut response was something like "blimey, it's Tom Cruise". That's what I didn't post.

OP posts:
lljkk · 22/08/2023 20:34

Can you say something light like "Looking good!"
But yeah I'd say nothing if spouse is insecure / could take it wrong.

Original poster
StupidHip · 22/08/2023 20:37

lljkk · 22/08/2023 20:34

Can you say something light like "Looking good!"
But yeah I'd say nothing if spouse is insecure / could take it wrong.

I know his wife, she really is very relaxed about him coming away with us. I don't know what made me over think it tbh, maybe because this time there were only 4 of us and we probably looked like two couples to those who don't know us, usually it's a bigger group. I can absolutely promise nothing untoward has ever happened though. Not even a hint of it after a few drinks.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 22/08/2023 20:44

If I sincerely think somebody looks particularly good or really happy or has struck a great pose then I’ll sincerely post to tell them so. Too many people spend their lives thinking far too much about their physical imperfections and faults, a well-meant compliment can go a long way. Most people can tell the difference between a genuine friendly compliment and somebody being flirty or suggestive.

Original poster
StupidHip · 22/08/2023 21:00

ComtesseDeSpair · 22/08/2023 20:44

If I sincerely think somebody looks particularly good or really happy or has struck a great pose then I’ll sincerely post to tell them so. Too many people spend their lives thinking far too much about their physical imperfections and faults, a well-meant compliment can go a long way. Most people can tell the difference between a genuine friendly compliment and somebody being flirty or suggestive.

Yes, that's how I usually work. My train of thought on this one has surprised me

OP posts:
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