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Original poster

Kids with 7+ years age difference - how was it for you?

14 replies

HowAmYa · 22/08/2023 17:34

I'm at a bit of a crossroads and would like some opinions from you lovely ladies.
DD is 5. DP and I been together 2.5 years.
I never envisioned only having one child, I have a good career, progression on the horizon but a year out here and there hopefully wouldn't be too detrimental.
I want a sibling for DD, DP would love a child too but have I missed the boat? Am I too old? Will the age difference be too much if I give birth at 38/39 when DD is 7?

Have any of you had kids with similar age diff and do they get on? The older DD gets the more I'm panicking that it won't work out. I could do with experience/opinions. Thanks!

OP posts:

WeightoftheWorld · 22/08/2023 17:38

I don't think age gaps determine sibling relationships. I'm very close to my 2-ish yr gap sibling and not very close to my 4.5ish gap one but neither is the middle sibling who is closer in age. Me and DH both have sets of cousins with 8-9yr age gaps, some are very close, others aren't. I think theres too many other factors so I definitely wouldn't worry about the age gap or use it as a deciding factor about whether to go ahead or not.

Headingforholidays · 22/08/2023 17:40

Having a few friends with this age gap I have noticed that the children get on fine and the older one tends to adore the baby /toddler but as they move into secondary school seem to have very little to do with their younger sibling as they are off living their own life and have nothing in common.

Hubblebubble · 22/08/2023 18:03

8 year age gap with my younger Dsis. Also a half sibling with the same mother. We get on great now were both adults, but as a kid it was more of an aunt/unpaid nanny situation. Make sure DD isn't forced into that role and can just enjoy playing with her sibling when she wants to.

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TimeForBedSaidZebadee · 22/08/2023 20:25

Mine are now aged 16, 23 and 35. They are very close but the youngest and eldest more so. Probably because they are girls. My youngest dd will often spend nights at her sisters house.

porppa · 22/08/2023 20:38

I had a sister 7 years younger and it was great. I was absolutely obsessed with her, playing with her, doing her nappies, would be gutted when she had to nap etc. She was also obsessed with me. Has always looked up to me and think sun shines out my arse . Took her well into her teens to even bite or snap at me at all. We played so many games together, had so much fun!
It's a great idea I think - go for it! Definitely not too old and it's lovely that you're both up for it too. Your child with thank you for the sibling I'm sure

Luckymama2014 · 22/08/2023 20:50

I have an 8 year old dd and a 9 month old ds who I had at 38. I was set on just having the one child but then randomly decided we should try for a 2nd which is why the big gap. They are obsessed with each other, it is lovely to watch but I also know that it doesn't mean they will be close but atleast they have someone to turn to as adults. I say go for it if the age gap is the only thing holding you back.

bryceQ · 22/08/2023 20:59

I have a 12 year gap with my sibling and we are close. Just go for it. Plus 38/39 absolutely not too old

snowballsinhell · 22/08/2023 21:02

I have a nearly 9 year old DS and a just turned 2 year old

To echo a PP: obsessed with each other

It's lovely. I'm sure it'll change - especially when he's 14 and she's 7 but for the time being it's adorable

ADealingMummy · 22/08/2023 21:03

My 15 year old and 8 year old are playing Roblox together right now !

Lndnmummy · 22/08/2023 21:09

7 year gap here. Best thing I ever did. My kids could not be any closer. Watching their bond over the years has been, by far, the greatest joy of my life. I'm getting teary writing this. I had terrible PND with my first and decided to not do it again. Then we changed our minds. I was very anxious during my pregnancy and again suffered PND but once I was out on the other side of that I am grateful every single day.

Grace204 · 22/08/2023 21:20

Mine have a 7 year gap and absolutely adore each other. They're nearly 4 and nearly 11. There's a 3 year gap between me and my sister and we've never been particularly close even as children so I do think personalities play a part

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 22/08/2023 21:25

I think as long as you know what you’re getting- they could indeed be close in terms of a loving relationship but practically speaking they will want to watch different programs, have different toys, do different activities, your attention will be split and ultimately the older one will lose time with you when the youngest is running round as a toddler, shoving things in their mouth etc. It will be like raising two only children. As long as you know this then go for it.

Original poster

HowAmYa · 22/08/2023 21:57

Wow, first and foremost thank you all for taking the time to share you experiences.

You ladies have no idea how much of weight has lifted off my chest just reading these responses! I love that yes they may drift when one is in high school/one in infants but the reassurance that the love can still be there and strong when they are both adults really does fill me with hope.

I'm one of 3, one brother is 2 years older and the other is 8 years older than me. I'd argue that I'm closer to the eldest now, event though growing up I was closer to my younger brother.

All I want is DD to have her sibling. Someone to share with and fight with 🤣.

I know there's the chance as PP said that it may be like raising 2 only children, but I think I'd rather have that than spend my life regretting not having a second.

OP posts:

AntoniaMcMac · 06/10/2024 20:42

Did you make a decision?

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