Don't know what to do. Buy or rent forever? Feel stuck.

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At the moment I live with DP and have done for the last 15 years. I live in his house and I'm not named on the deeds (I was young and stupid when I moved in, thought it would be forever, wasn't really considering the formalities.. I know, stupid) I pay a monthly sum which pays towards bills and food.. some years this has been less, some more but I have always made a payment every month. Not that this is relevant..

I had been considering buying a small flat to let so that I have an asset of my own in my old age, but in recent years our relationship has gone downhill, more like friends/housemates, usual story. I think I'm in peri and have completely lost my sex drive and I think he deserves more.

I'm also craving my own space, it's literally all i can think about .. not sure if I'm actually going mad.

I'm on an ok salary for the area (north east) - 26k but don't have a great deal of savings.. only around 30k. I don't stand to inherit anything, my mum died and I'm estranged from my dad.

I could probably just about scrape the deposit and fees for a small leasehold flat. I have had mental health episodes in the past (nothing serious but I have left jobs before / needed time off sick) what worries me is if this would be classed as a pre existing condition making me ineligible for unemployment insurance. So if I lost my job at any stage in the future, I'd probably be screwed.
My job is fairly secure but redundancies do happen, especially when workload drops. I'm 41 and as I get older I know it will be harder to find another job.

I also can't really imagine being alone in retirement, having to deal with all repairs, decorating, being the only one to deal with anything that goes wrong. At least with renting, the landlord deals with all that.

Honestly the idea of buying really scares me. But so does renting, when the LL can evict at whim.

I have no children so no one to leave a property to if I were to buy. I suppose I could release some equity in my old age.

Anyone else in the same position? Im spending my days and nights worrying about this lately. Feel like I need to make a decision and act on it soon.

I'd definitely buy in your position

You need a 20% deposit if buying to let out. I also don't advise it for newbies, I own and i know that if i rented out my flat, i would be losing money every month as rent is cheaper than my mortgage. You could be better off yield wise (and yields are better up north) because you aren't on 40% tax band (my DH is) but I think its touch and go whether you break even esp without a lot of equity.

If you want to buy in your circumstances, the only question you need to answer is if you want to live in it, if the leasehold has reasonable service charges and is well managed (preferably by its residents), if you can afford mortgage fluctuations and if it would put you under financial strain. It sounds like you don't want to rent but being a homeowner is a responsibility in itself.

Honestly, I'd so much rather rent.. I wish we had proper rent controls in this country, with secure long term contracts. I know I'd be paying more in the long run, but at least there's housing benefit if I lost my job, and repairs are the responsibility of the LL.

The only thing is I'd love a cat in the future, but this would not be possible in a rental. Plus I'd have to get a LL to accept me and my circumstances aren't perfect, especially since I do not have a previous landlord reference.

My DH would rather rent too but sadly everyone wants to be a home owner (even though it is a zero sum game which would inevitably mean that home ownership rates eventually decline as the vast majority of home owners want to keep prices high and exclude others from.the market as well as viewing housing as an asset rather than shelter), home ownership is privileged in this country. We bought but my DH was adamant we buy as cheap as possible and in the best possible area. So even though we are renting from the bank and tying up our capital ,we are gaining the advantage of living in an area we like in London. Things are not ideal, we make do with we have.

Honestly the idea of buying really scares me.

I think this is the crux of the matter.

Do you feel out of your depth with the process of it all? It can be daunting,especially when you are doing it on your own and even when you aren't.

Use MN for advice if so. I once had a tricky visa/passport situation and I got absolutely loads of support on here.