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Original poster

So Sensitive to conflict even when it’s not mine!

33 replies

Lostinplaces · 22/08/2023 10:29

So I’m on bus. A passenger is arguing with the driver. Voices raised but not exactly shouting. I don’t know why but I absolutely hate it, feel like I want to get off and run away it makes me so anxious. It’s absolutely nothing to do with me albeit somewhat annoying that the bus is being held up.
I don’t know why I’m like this, can’t even stand fictional conflict on the bloody TV!
Am I just ridiculously over sensitive?

OP posts:
TeaandHobnobs · 23/08/2023 08:44

@toadasoda yes! I can’t watch more than about 10 mins of Question Time before I have to turn over… and I’m quite into politics (which seems odd given how much I hate conflict 😂)

GreyCarpet · 23/08/2023 08:49

I'm the same.

My son and I aren't shouty and my partner isn't either but my 17 yo daughter takes after her dad and is very confrontational at times. I freeze and it terrifies me. I feel that cold knot of panic.

She's getting better as she gets older but I hate it.

All stems from childhood.

SirChenjins · 23/08/2023 08:53

toadasoda · 23/08/2023 00:08

Anyone else find panel shows, you know the current affairs ones really difficult to watch.. they stress me out totally when people are interrupting or talking over each other.

Yes! I can’t watch them - my heart starts racing and I get quite shaky.

Justgonefishing · 23/08/2023 09:08

yep- google polyvagal theory .....if you've grown up in a family where your flight/flight and freeze responses were being constantly triggered and you were never supported to learn self-regulation ,your "window of tolerance" to stressful situations will be very narrow. Learning mindfulness will be a real help....but as i've found , i generally crave some sort of negative stimulus to get me moving hence why i'm addicted to mumsnet and other social media!!! definitely a good idea to detox and get out into nature.

FrownBrown · 23/08/2023 09:10

It's incredibly common to have your response. I wouldn't over-think it.

FrownBrown · 23/08/2023 09:20

Opine · 23/08/2023 00:12

Maybe you just don’t like conflict and that’s that. It’s not a strange thing to dislike is it. It’s more normal to not enjoy it than otherwise. .

Childhood is a very small part of our lives. Not everything stems from our formative years. Last year matters just as much as three or four decades ago. Maybe more so.

Not everything needs therapy. Some things are just your personality. It’s fine to prefer harmony.

Indeed.

"Oh this makes me uncomfortable, I don't like it, it's making me anxious and I'm annoyed that it's holding up my journey home" is not an unusual response.

If OP had run off the bus in a panic, then walked home causing inconvenience to her day and life then therapy might be indicated.

BertieBotts · 23/08/2023 09:22

Agree to look up highly sensitive person, polyvagal response and probably enneagram 9 as well.

All highly useful (if you like that sort of thing) in feeling understood and seen.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/08/2023 09:33

I’ve found it’s got worse as I’ve got older. I can’t bear raised voices at all now at 59. It bothered me less when l was younger.

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