Is love a concious choice?

[Hippytripod]

Feel like my life experiences aren't the norm so interested in people's thoughts of if romantic love is, or becomes a choice?

Yes because love is a verb

No.

I defiantly did not choose to fall in love with my finance (I was with someone else at the time) but I did.

If you think of love as a feeling, then no because you can't help the way you feel.

However, I also think of love as a choice and even when the dcs or dh are getting on my nerves, I might not ^feel loving towards them, but I choose^ to love them by being patient with dcs or making the effort to talk to dh why a particular thing annoyed me, and allow him to say his bit and move on.

It can be - as said upthread, you can choose to act lovingly towards your toddler at the end of a long day (even if you don't much feel it at that moment!)
But you cannot choose to 'fall in love" romantically (although love can bloom from familiarity ie arranged marriages?). You cannot stop yourself falling out of love either, although a marriage may rumble along for another 30 years.

It’s a feeling so can’t be helped but what can be helped is how you act on those feelings.