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Original poster

Is it normal to not recognise people like this?

91 replies

Ilovechocolate87 · 21/08/2023 20:19

Today I saw two different people I know/should have recognised.
The first was my daughters midwife, who I got to know very well and last saw properly when she signed us off in late 2021 (I did actually see her sitting in her car a couple of weeks ago, but not properly) I wasn't expecting to see her where I did today, at the park, she wasn't in uniform, had her hair different etc....but it was embarrassing as my face must have looked blank for a few seconds because until she got closer and it clicked I had no idea who she was and she had to tell me, which was embarrassing!
Then, I took my daughter on a bike ride around the village and saw my friend's sister in law, who lives in the same village and helped cater at our daughter's christening last year.I knew she was someone familiar, but it was only after i saw her a second time on the way back that it clicked...now got to message my friend asking her to apologise to the SIL that I didn't recognise her 🙈🤷‍♀️
This isn't the first time this sort of thing has happened....I've had it with colleagues at work, and a mum of a former friend who I used to know very well up until about 7 years ago, but saw at the cinema and again she had to tell me who she was.
I'm 35, can be abit scatterbrained/ disorganised in some ways, very organised in others, but no medical conditions I'm aware of....is what I'm describing normal for someone my age?!

OP posts:
dudsville · 21/08/2023 20:23

I hope so. I live like this daily. A friend of mine has a diagnosis of something that is basically this. I'm constantly learning that there's more than one 6 foot tall thin dark haired man in the team, or more than one 5'7" thin long straight haired blond lady.

SafeAsAMouse · 21/08/2023 20:23

Look up propopagnosia. Think it’s spelt like that

SafeAsAMouse · 21/08/2023 20:23

Hmm spelt prosopagnosia

Totalwasteofpaper · 21/08/2023 20:24

Its totally normal for me but I have prosopagnosia....

CantThinkOfANameAtAll · 21/08/2023 20:24

If someone isn't where I know them from then I never recognise them, ie school mums have to be on school ground or on the school walking route (can be a Saturday, it's the place not date). I've always had this face blindness.

ElthamLemur · 21/08/2023 20:24

Honestly, our brain filters out detail of people who aren’t important to us once the context in which we knew them is no longer relevant. We need the space for other things! These people are hardly important figures in your life. Were you really going to stop and chat to them? And if you are worried about appearing rude, just smile at everyone you pass in the street, that’s a nice thing to do anyway.

Insommmmnia · 21/08/2023 20:25

I can meet people multiples times and still not recognise them

Every time we move house I rely on my DH to remind me who everyone is when we meet them for years after we move

mondaytosunday · 21/08/2023 20:25

Don't apologise! It happens. I once walked by my own mother at the supermarket as my mind was on something else (finding what I was looking for) and thought she was somewhere else!
I also had a woman come up to me in the street greeting me by name and I looked at her blankly - she told me she was my Zumba teacher. But fully clothed and not moving rhythmically around and I just didn't recognise her (I was amazed she recognised me too).
So relax, and if someone smiles at you just smile back.

Shouldbedoing · 21/08/2023 20:26

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001mzpb?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile
Very interesting feature on face blindness. Starts with a Joanna Lumley interview. I'll try to find how many minutes in the feature starts

Shouldbedoing · 21/08/2023 20:28

Starts at 1hr 5
You might need to Goole Radio 2, Jeremy Vine, face blindness as the link is not loading for me here, tonight

OriginalBin · 21/08/2023 20:29

My DH has face-blindness, but in the situations you describe (people who are not that important or frequent in your life, or people you only know from a specific context), I wouldn’t think it’s all that unusual not to recognise them.

Clefable · 21/08/2023 20:29

Seeing people out of context can do that. A work friend turned up unexpectedly at my door and I must have stared at her for about 10 seconds before realising who she was!

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/08/2023 20:29

I'm like this. I'm also bad at keeping track of characters in films and have to ask 'is that the same person who was doing such and such a thing earlier?'. It's worse with men.

dontchaknow · 21/08/2023 20:30

This is a serious problem if you happen to be a sales rep, as I once was. I always struggled to remember names, and if I saw my clients at trade fairs, i.e. away from their home territory, I was sunk! Several times my colleagues thanked me for looking after their clients so nicely, what they didn't know was that I hadn't got a clue if they were my clients or not, until I actually got talking to them.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/08/2023 20:32

I walked past my own husband doing his mother's shopping in the supermarket. It was during covid and he was wearing a mask which made it harder but I recognised the shopping bags in the trolley before I recognised him.

MintJulia · 21/08/2023 20:37

Completely normal. If I see people out of context, I often can't place them.

We've had the same postman for years but I couldn't place him when I saw him on a flight home from the US. Totally threw me.

Just smile and say hi.

Charrington · 21/08/2023 20:38

Everyone seems so upbeat and casual about this. I have this problem too and it’s horrendously embarrassing. I often don’t recognise people out of context unless they speak to me. I cannot recognise corpses either which is very disorientating.

CaptainMyCaptain · 21/08/2023 20:39

Corpses?

Gwenhwyfar · 21/08/2023 20:40

"These people are hardly important figures in your life. Were you really going to stop and chat to them? "

This is not very nice. Sounds like OP did stop and chat anyway.

"And if you are worried about appearing rude, just smile at everyone you pass in the street, that’s a nice thing to do anyway."

This is a bit risky. At least where I live you'd have problems with some people if you do that.

Interestingly, I've got a bit of face blindness when it comes to features, but I can recognise people by their hair, glasses, clothes, etc.
When I see people out of context (eg someone who works in a shop I go to often) it can take me some time to realise who they are, but I usually recognise them as someone I'm supposed to know.

OriginalBin · 21/08/2023 20:45

Charrington · 21/08/2023 20:38

Everyone seems so upbeat and casual about this. I have this problem too and it’s horrendously embarrassing. I often don’t recognise people out of context unless they speak to me. I cannot recognise corpses either which is very disorientating.

I don’t think corpses are that recognisable to most people — still, made-up, without the play of expression etc that made them recognisable when alive and talking.

CatsOnTheChair · 21/08/2023 20:48

I dont think it's typical, but it's still pretty common, if that makes sense.
I'm like someone up thread - can't track people in films, get confused when the same person turns up in a different TV program.
Can't recognise people I should know - especially if I know them in workwear then see them with hair/makeup done for a night out or similar.

That said, your daughter's midwife??? The person who delivered your grandchild?? I wouldn't be able to tell you who delivered MY kids let alone the next generation down.

Englishrosegarden · 21/08/2023 20:58

I have this, it can be a bit of a nightmare. There's an online test you can do to confirm it. I have enormous problems with tv programmes as if the main character changes clothes or hair/glasses I am sunk. Anything with army types in it is impossible to watch as they all have same clothes/hair. I tend to tell people I have it when I meet them (if I am going to be seeing them again) so they understand I am not being rude when I ask who they are. It takes me quite a few meetings to fix someone in my brain and even then, if I see them somewhere unexpected I won't know who they are. The Jeremy Vine thing was really helpful (we listened when it was first aired) as it made my DH really understand how it affects me.

Anothermam · 21/08/2023 21:00

Following as I think my six year old is like this. He didn't quite recognise a child from school the other day and had to double check "are you x?"
He also mistakes strangers for people he knows if they look similar.

TMess · 21/08/2023 21:08

I don’t recognize people “out of context” unless it’s someone i know really well and see frequently. My husband is amazing with faces and terrible with names. Together we’re almost one fully functional human.

riotlady · 21/08/2023 21:13

I’m terrible for this too- a colleague who literally sits at the desk next to me said hi to me in Sainsburys once and I didn’t recognise him at all! When I was younger and I worked in a shop, I would often have to run and check stock for people in the back and when I came back I could never work out who asked me in the first place- I had to say in my head “lady with brown hair in a red coat” over and over again.

Ive got quite a good memory for written and auditory information but visually I’m at a loss. I struggle with directions and picturing places too

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