Anyone else feel like every decision they make is a mistake?

[Mistakeaftermistake]

I’m just so tired of it. Sitting here trying to think when the last time was I made a good decision. Must have been about 18 years ago. Every decision since has been the wrong choice. I no longer trust myself.

Last decent decision was a career move but everything since has been disastrous. Bought the wrong house, sent the kids to the wrong school, changed to the wrong job. Not just life changing decisions but even little things like painting the house the wrong colour, bought a cat (after a lot of research) who has turned out to be unaffectionate and not at all friendly which apparently is exceptionally unusual for a ragdoll but now I’m lumbered with him for god knows how long. Bought him for DS as they are meant to be emotionally good for autistic people.

Even our holiday this year was a big mistake. Despite again, research, the hotel was rubbish and the resort awful. Why can’t I get anything right?

Im just so worn down with every decision turning out to be the wrong one. Does anyone else ever feel like this?

I feel the same including having bought the wrong house.

This isn't helpful to you all I know but this thread has actually made me see that a few of my decisions have been the right ones so I can only say thank you for that and forgive myself for the crappy decisions or situations I've found myself in 🙏

This thread reminded me of this article in the Times. The Harvard professor’s regret-proof guide to making decisions.
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/0495eaca-474c-11ee-9359-63e432ab6148?shareToken

Paywall

I have started to feel a bit like this recently and I when I was at the end of my tether recently I realised - it wasn’t me. For years I had been outsourcing my decisions to my husband. For example I’d run something by him and quite often he’d respond in a way that went against my gut instinct. And I let that happen over a period of years, wanting someone to make hard decisions for me when I should have been doing it myself. So I think that’s how my recalibration happened. I am going to try a lot harder to follow my own instincts and pay more attention to my decisions.

Dh and I always seemed to make the wrong decisions and I do regret so many things where we went wrong , but ( if it's any consolation) it is a learning curve and you do tend to not make them again
Other people always seemed to have life sussed out too.
I hope things look up for you op, but I know it's not easy

This might be totally stupid but could you sit down and consider any good that came out of the bad? Could you make a list to even try and trick your brain? I know how you feel, most of my comments start with ‘I’d probably not do it again but …’

I think you're giving yourself a hard time.

You don't choose to be abused. Yes, it's possible you missed warning signs, but that isn't on you. They should never have abused you.

And I'm sure you've made lots of good decisions for your child. After all, keeping them away from an abusive man is a brilliant decision.

Are you basing this around finding a man? Would it help to look at success by looking at your smaller decisions? I assume you're keeping your child safe and happy, thats huge when you've escaped two abusive relationships. I'd recommend staying away from relationships for a while and instead work on finding joy in the little things with your lovely child.

I wonder if perspective is more at play here.

I mean, I genuinely think I make pretty good decisions. But I was raised to have a lot of self confidence and so I suspect, rather than making better decisions than you, I'm instead framing them as better because I believe in myself.

I've messed up in lots of ways but I also make some pretty good decisions. That's normal, ying and yang stuff. I bet you're better at decisions than you give yourself credit for.