Would you accept a gift of a absent grandparent

[Cheryl22x]

So I have posted on here before about the same topic but need some opinions on this.
it’s my daughters 2nd birthday coming up her grandparents on her fathers side have been absent for over a year and a half now they’ve went no contact with me I don’t hear nothing they don’t ask how she is, arrange to see her absoutley nothing but on a birthday or Christmas will send a gift or money ( mainly money) to there sons house for her.
Which I will have to go and collect as we are split.
would you accept these?

personally, yeah I would collect. Extra something for child. Would also teach child that gifts & money do not = forgiveness or entitlement once they grow up.

I probably would as means well.. I guess they probably ask him about her even if they don’t ask you directly. They probably do care/want more contact or at least have there thoughts in a good place.

Difficult to say without knowing more OP

We hadn't seen ils for 9 months. Their choice.. I sent dc's gift back recorded delivery..

Yes, I would. Even though they’re not having regular contact, they do think of her.

Could it be they want some contact or information about their grandchild, but ex is preventing it? (This has happened with friends of mine).

No she’s very toxic. Some of the things she has said. She has made it clear it’s either her way or no way and this is why she has went no contact she never asks her son about my daughter either so no I don’t think is the case. This is why it is confusing.

I would take the money if it would help with my finances to buy stuff, otherwise I’d still take it and put it in an account for DC when they’re older.

I’d have nowhere to store a gift as big as a absent grandparent so that would be a no 😉

But money? Yeah. Stick it in savings.

Yes I would. There’s no benefit to the DC to send it back - sending it back would only benefit you (I.E the satisfaction of sending a f u to the grandparent?)

but then I dont think I would ever turn down money because I don’t have very much!

Appreciate the reply’s. I just think if it was because they cared or meant then why just on her birthday or Christmas my daughters here every day and they don’t bother any other day? If my daughter meant that much to them they’d put there differences a side with me and be civil for there granddaughter. But no they want to try and by pass me and send a gift to make me look the Villian and make thereselves out to be the good grand parents when she gets older. But in reality they do not bother and are absent in her life because of there own choices.

We’re in the same situation today. Only my child is 18 now, we declined the present and sent it back. we don’t want or need their guilt money.

I'd put it into their bank account and send a message that is what you have done with it. You'll get the satisfaction of inadvertently telling her grandparents you didn't want it but took it for your DC and they will get it once they are older.

I understand how you feel - my in-laws are the same. My DC are much older than yours. We accept what’s sent and because the DC never see them, they treat the cards like they do if a neighbour gave them a birthday card. They don’t feel any connection to them, but they spend their money gift as they don’t think beyond it being money shoved in the envelope IYSWIM.

Christ, I can see why they chose no contact with you.

I would leave it to your ex to deal with.

So with DSS gifts given by DPs family were kept here and money that was sent was put in DSS account that DP is the trustee on. Also are you sure there's no contact you realise on your ex time with your daughter he is free to do with her as he chooses ( obviously within reason) including visiting his parents