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Original poster

Extravagant parties for 1 year old. Is this a thing now?

36 replies

Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 09:47

I've seen two of these events over the last week on SM. Both for 1 year olds. Both in 'wedding' type venues, decorated with the obligatory balloon arch and giant illuminated number. Tables decked out with decorations and chairs dressed with bows on the backs and a 'top' table where parents sit with the birthday baby and the two tier cake. Granted, one event looked to be more extreme than the other but were both in the same vein. Surely this is not a thing now? Talk about upping the ante. 😂 I won't start on the 0.6 month 'cake day' that I was recently invited to.

Disclaimer: no it doesn't affect me personally, no it's none of my business, yes, people can spend their money how they like. I still think it's pretentious shite.

OP posts:
Kitcaterpillar · 20/08/2023 09:50

No, I don't think it's particularly a thing in the real world. My 3 year olds nursery group has just started having the odd birthday party and they're very much in the 90s vein of birthday parties.

Readingisgoodforyou · 20/08/2023 09:50

We had a party at a big venue to mark the first year of our daughters life as we didn't know whether we'd ever bring her home from NICU.... so yeah, it was big milestone and a good excuse to make a huge fuss.

hungrycaterpilla22 · 20/08/2023 09:51

It's clearly for for the benefit of the parents and nothing to do with the child as they are far too young to remember what's happening and won't give a crap about the all the Insta worthy decor and three tier naked cake.

We took our dd on a little day out just me and dh when she turned one then had a tea party with her sibling after school. It's nice to mark it but I don't see the need for extravagant parties at such a young age. If people have the money and inclination for it it's their choice though. I often wonder if they would bother if there were no such thing as social media to post all the photos on afterwards.

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WelcomingGnome · 20/08/2023 09:54

It's a thing for some, but it's a party for the parents really, not the child!

Original poster
Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 09:56

I often wonder if they would bother if there were no such thing as social media to post all the photos on afterwards.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there @hungrycaterpilla22

@Readingisgoodforyou I'm not criticising parties to make milestones (fellow NICU mum here), we had a little party and cake etc for DS & DD. For me it's turning it into a wedding type affair with top table and decorated like a wedding that I don't like. And the posting all over SM.

OP posts:
Original poster
Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 09:56

*mark milestones

OP posts:
Nubnut · 20/08/2023 09:57

Super naff

Bootskates · 20/08/2023 09:57

I didn't do this but I do get it. Its a milestone for parents as much as the baby isn't it? The first year is so hard but yet so precious and you can't believe it's a whole year since you were in labour, giving birth, meeting this tiny newborn.

I just did a day out with a few close family members but I do see why some would want to "mark it" in a big way.

Original poster
Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 10:08

Bootskates · 20/08/2023 09:57

I didn't do this but I do get it. Its a milestone for parents as much as the baby isn't it? The first year is so hard but yet so precious and you can't believe it's a whole year since you were in labour, giving birth, meeting this tiny newborn.

I just did a day out with a few close family members but I do see why some would want to "mark it" in a big way.

But what do you do the next year when it's 2 years since you were in labour etc? did all those things, 3 years, 8 years? That does sound like a party for parents rather than the child, because it's about all the things that you experienced if you know what I mean?

OP posts:
Bootskates · 20/08/2023 10:16

@Makemineacosmo oh 100% it is but I don't think that's massively wrong, as long as it is somewhat about celebrating the baby.

I also don't think there's anything bad about doing things on a lower level in future years, I did a bigger (not massive, just bouncy castle in sports hall type thing) for DD's 7th, as it was her first one after the missed lockdown birthday parties. For her 8th it was taking her and 3 friends bowling, she completely understood and knew she wouldn't be getting a massive blow out every year

pbdr · 20/08/2023 10:40

While I certainly didn't do this myself (we just had our families over and made a cake), I can hardly think of anything more harmless than parents celebrating their child's birthday. I find it very hard to get worked up about it. Let people enjoy themselves, even if it's not your cup of tea.

JC89 · 20/08/2023 10:40

My cousin did this a year or two ago - it's not really for the kid (although they had hired some soft play and a magician for the older kids!) but it was a lovely excuse to have a big family get together after all the lockdowns.

Fruitynutcase · 20/08/2023 10:48

Readingisgoodforyou · 20/08/2023 09:50

We had a party at a big venue to mark the first year of our daughters life as we didn't know whether we'd ever bring her home from NICU.... so yeah, it was big milestone and a good excuse to make a huge fuss.

In your case yes I can appreciate why you did this as we had a baby in special care . But in ordinary circumstances no . A one year old can't remember. When my son was seven I did an old fashioned tea party with a homemade cake and just a few schoolmates round . He says this is the birthday he remembered and enjoyed the most despite him having parties at a venue .

Original poster
Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 10:48

I can hardly think of anything more harmless than parents celebrating their child's birthday.

@pbdr there isn't at all! I may be very old fashioned, and I suspect I am, but I kind of feel it should be about playing with a baby and letting them have fun and a bit of cake on their birthday, when they are so young, rather than ostentatious displays of wealth on SM which seem to have very little to do with the actual child and what they will enjoy on the day. I don't know many 1 year olds who would really get much enjoyment from fancy decorated chairs and a balloon arch they're not allowed to touch. 😂

But you're right, whatever floats your boat and all that.

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Beachwaves127 · 20/08/2023 13:23

@Bootskates the reasons you give for holding a party make complete sense to me so I agree - if someone wants to celebrate for this reason then why not go for it.

Personally we are doing a small thing for my Dc one year birthday. Cake at ours for relatives to drop in (mine in the morning Pre lunch time nap and DH’s in the pm post lunch time nap).

If we are being truthful even this small affair is for me really - I want to put my Dc in a cute dress for the occasion and not afraid to say that, and I also know my family want to see her to celebrate “one.” It’s just a smaller version of the glitzy ott ”one” birthday parties we see on Instagram - but being held for the exact same reason really!

Small just suits my personality, plus I find it less stressful looking after Dc when we are somewhere quiet and not busy!! Also small will allow her to nap and not get overworked.

Beachwaves127 · 20/08/2023 13:27

Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 10:48

I can hardly think of anything more harmless than parents celebrating their child's birthday.

@pbdr there isn't at all! I may be very old fashioned, and I suspect I am, but I kind of feel it should be about playing with a baby and letting them have fun and a bit of cake on their birthday, when they are so young, rather than ostentatious displays of wealth on SM which seem to have very little to do with the actual child and what they will enjoy on the day. I don't know many 1 year olds who would really get much enjoyment from fancy decorated chairs and a balloon arch they're not allowed to touch. 😂

But you're right, whatever floats your boat and all that.

@Makemineacosmo 200% about Instagram / Facebook. I’ve gone off both since I’ve become a mum as I am sick of extravagant affairs being uploaded all the time. When now that I am a mum I realise how stressful these occasions probably are with a baby/small Dc (or maybe it’s just me!!🤣🤣🤣) and social media doesn’t portray that it just shows an idyllic balloon arch

Peony654 · 20/08/2023 13:29

I think it’s a bit OTT and purely for the parents social media. 1 YOs don’t care. And those balloon arches really grind my gears, so wasteful and bad for the planet.

LongStoryLong · 20/08/2023 13:31

IMO, baby’s first birthday is a milestone for the parents. As you rightly say, the baby won’t remember it either way. So why not let the parents blow off some steam, have whatever the fuck party they like to celebrate keeping this tiny creature alive for a whole year, and you stay in your lane?

Bootskates · 20/08/2023 13:32

@Beachwaves127 hope your DC has a great birthday! And you too, its a huge milestone getting to the end of that first year. I went small too, just a little day out and cake at home afterwards but these days it's all about DD and her interests (as it should be)

YukoandHiro · 20/08/2023 13:35

No, in the real world people have has small gatherings at their home or a picnic in the park if it's in summer.

Are you talking about influencers?

Original poster
Makemineacosmo · 20/08/2023 14:47

LongStoryLong · 20/08/2023 13:31

IMO, baby’s first birthday is a milestone for the parents. As you rightly say, the baby won’t remember it either way. So why not let the parents blow off some steam, have whatever the fuck party they like to celebrate keeping this tiny creature alive for a whole year, and you stay in your lane?

Oh god @LongStoryLong , it's really not that deep, it's just a thread on MN with my opinion on something I've seen on social media. I'm not organising demonstrations outside said events so I promise I'm 'staying in my lane'. So, really, you can unclench. 😂

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HiAlisonItsCookie · 20/08/2023 18:08

For the same reason as they do anything else else, because they can.

It's why people choose to combine the first birthday with the baby's christening, because it's an excuse to have a family party and make a bit of fuss. The first year is such a slog in a lot of ways, it's nice to have a do!

CurtainsForBea · 20/08/2023 18:20

I had a massive party for DS1. We had an upturned dinghy filled with ice and pimms and pony rides in our very small garden. Blush And a magician.

It did not cost that much- about £300 all told.

The motivation? I was in the depths of truly appalling PND and had not bonded at all with DS. My labour was appallingly mismanaged and he was deprived of oxygen at birth and had to be rescuscitated. He has lifelong problems as a result and will most likely never live an independent life. DH went part time and I had to give up work when he was about 2.

We were trying to prove something I think. That things were not as bad- that overcompensating somehow.

Never had another party for him. He would barely know if we did tbh.

CurtainsForBea · 20/08/2023 18:24

*empty dinghy

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/08/2023 18:26

Thing is where does it stop- a 1 yr old doesn’t understand this that and the other so why bother?!

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