I have the opportunity of a lifetime - with a bit of effort, the resources to never need to worry again, and to ensure those I love don't need to worry. It's not like all I'd have then is money either - I have a (very good) relationship, a child, loving parents, friends. I have my health (mostly). This genuinely isn't a gloat, I'm just trying to express that I have plenty of 'deeper meaning' things in my life too. But for some reason I face so much resistance putting in that "bit of effort" and it feels like it's because the outcome wouldn't make me feel fulfilled.
I don't know WTF is wrong with me but it's frustrating and irritating to high heaven and I really want to stop standing in my own way, except I can't figure out why I'm doing so.