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Original poster

Health crisis affecting men in 30s and 40s

28 replies

roarrfeckingroar · 19/08/2023 09:30

What happens to a vast % of the male population when they hit their mid 20s - 40s, usually correlating with having young children, that causes such stomach problems?

Is it a lack of fibre? Is it sympathetic damage "down there" occurring when their partner goes through childbirth?

I am ofc referring the 20 minute morning shit. My STBXP decided that 10 minutes before I had to leave to catch a train, he would disappear leaving me with a clingy toddler while trying to leave with the breastfed baby. I've just made the train but could've done without the rush - and this happens every day he's home. I bet it doesn't at work.

It couldn't possibly be that so many men are happy to be so regularly awkward / shirk family responsibilities? Is it actually something diet related? Prostate maybe?

OP posts:
Iam4eels · 19/08/2023 09:40

It's the shirking of family responsibilities, I call it the convenience-shit. DH tried it in the early days and quickly realised I'd either send the most vocal of the toddlers to sit right outside the toilet door and talk to him or I'd leave without him and he'd have to catch up.

GreyCarpet · 19/08/2023 09:49

Well my exh (crap as he could be!) never did this and my partner now never does this.

In fact it's not something I've ever noticed in any man I've dated or whose house I've stayed over at either.

It's not health related (unless it actually is or they've got really appalling diets) and it's not all men. It's just the shit ones.

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 09:51

From what I gather from on here, it’s the bowel movement version of strategic incompetence.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Flickersy · 19/08/2023 09:52

My partner does this but it's always at about 6 in the morning when everyone else is still asleep. No shirking of anything here.

MaCrepeSuzette · 19/08/2023 10:09

My 9 year old DS has 20 min shits, and has done since he was toilet trained. So I do wonder if it's something innate...

Original poster
roarrfeckingroar · 19/08/2023 10:30

@MaCrepeSuzette that's interesting!

I wonder if it was as common before mobile phones and tablets were invented.

Any future partner I may have, I'll weed this practice out early on. It's indicative of a lazy wanker (actual health concerns aside).

OP posts:
Elsiebear90 · 19/08/2023 10:34

I noticed on holiday my brother does this disappearing to the toilet for half an hour with their phones, my father in law too, no kids though, I always assumed it was them masturbating tbh, but maybe they do have bowel problems 🤔

Deathbyfluffy · 19/08/2023 10:36

OriginalBin · 19/08/2023 09:51

From what I gather from on here, it’s the bowel movement version of strategic incompetence.

I’d rather call it the massive MN sexism problem - anyone issues a word against women and it’s a 300 page thread of hate, but it’s fine to group all men together as shit Dads.

Some people really need to take a good, long hard look at the generalisations they make.

Fairyliz · 19/08/2023 10:38

I don’t understand why people don’t just send the whiny toddler into their partners. I spent about three years only being able to have a shit with a small child attached to my leg. It soon teaches you to speed things up.

Chersfrozenface · 19/08/2023 10:45

Perhaps building regulations should specify that all rooms containing a toilet must have a Faraday cage - walls, door, windows, the lot.

Or institute a house rule - no mobile phones in any room with a toilet. On pain of having to the device thrown in the bowl.

LifeIsShitJustNow · 19/08/2023 10:47

Deathbyfluffy · 19/08/2023 10:36

I’d rather call it the massive MN sexism problem - anyone issues a word against women and it’s a 300 page thread of hate, but it’s fine to group all men together as shit Dads.

Some people really need to take a good, long hard look at the generalisations they make.

Show quote history

Could explain why so many men disappear for such a long time to the loo, esp when it’s usually when they are needed or their help would be helpful??

Fwiw neither DH nor my dad or FIL have ever done that.
But I’d come to that exact conclusion if one of them done had. It’s tte recurrence if tte situation that screams strategic incompetence btw (and that would be true if it was a woman too btw)

Original poster
roarrfeckingroar · 19/08/2023 10:54

@Deathbyfluffy aww the poor men. Is horrid harpies should hang our heads in collective shame and be more kind 😂

OP posts:
TealSapphire · 19/08/2023 11:00

@Iam4eels love your work haha.

Crowfinch · 19/08/2023 11:00

Dh's rationale is that you need to go and have a sit, so that you're ready. He tends to go at certain times, whereas in site most peopke go... when they actually need to. It's why so many men in work spend a lot of time in the toilet too. Women seem to have a weird aversion to pooing in work toilets.

stbrandonsboat · 19/08/2023 11:01

Deathbyfluffy · 19/08/2023 10:36

I’d rather call it the massive MN sexism problem - anyone issues a word against women and it’s a 300 page thread of hate, but it’s fine to group all men together as shit Dads.

Some people really need to take a good, long hard look at the generalisations they make.

Show quote history

Rubbish. It's a well known problem and loads of us have to put up with it.

Crowfinch · 19/08/2023 11:02

And to be fair, he doesn't shirk on any jobs. I guess time wise, it's the equivalent of me doing hair and face, if we're off out.

LookingForPurpose · 19/08/2023 11:05

roarrfeckingroar · 19/08/2023 10:30

@MaCrepeSuzette that's interesting!

I wonder if it was as common before mobile phones and tablets were invented.

Any future partner I may have, I'll weed this practice out early on. It's indicative of a lazy wanker (actual health concerns aside).

Soak? Poor mobile phone you never heard any woman talk about her DH/dad etc trolling off to the toilet/outhouse with a news paper/pools ticket and pen etc? There is a reason it's been called the throne for so many years..... because men sit on it for so long and lord over the women leaving them to do the work they are avoiding.

LookingForPurpose · 19/08/2023 11:07

Body hell my auto credit is getting worse 😮

Disturbia81 · 19/08/2023 12:07

Probably having a wank at the same time, eww.

LlynTegid · 19/08/2023 12:09

I don't think it just bowel movement. Some things take longer for men as they get older.

Gettingbysomehow · 19/08/2023 12:10

Mt ex husband actually did have nervous shits. He was driving a van once that was a bit difficult to drive, got in a state and actually shit himself in it. It was horrendous.
Any argument, any normal discussion about finances or other normal everyday stuff and he's have to spend ages in the loo and it smelt horrendous afterwards so I know he wasn't just hiding.
In the end I had to take responsibility for everything. I begged him to see his GP and think about medication but like a lot of men he refused to go.

Squeaky2023 · 19/08/2023 12:30

Elsiebear90 · 19/08/2023 10:34

I noticed on holiday my brother does this disappearing to the toilet for half an hour with their phones, my father in law too, no kids though, I always assumed it was them masturbating tbh, but maybe they do have bowel problems 🤔

ShockA poo-wank?

Original poster
roarrfeckingroar · 19/08/2023 12:40

@LookingForPurpose

YES! Your throne analogy is brilliant.

Many men do this. It's a problem. We're allowed to talk about things many men do without the NAMALT brigade - or should be.

OP posts:
LifeIsShitJustNow · 19/08/2023 13:27

I remember reading that men take their time for a poo, relax etc… and if it takes 30 mins so be it.
Whereas women are taught to not spend a lot of time in the loo because ‘they are needed’ and it’s obviously superfluous.

I suspect there is something there. Men feel like what they need is important enough so it comes first. Missing 30 mins at the desk at work - fine. Going when there are two dcs screaming for b’fast - all ok.
Whereas no woman would think it’s ok to go away to the loo for that long when meal needs to be sorted, children to be look after or stuff prepared to go out.

I don’t think I’d notice DH going to the loo for half an hour in the middle of the day. The reason why so many women notice that is because it seems to happen always at the times when they should pull their weight and never when they are relaxing and nothing needs doing.

megletthesecond · 19/08/2023 13:31

I'm a lone parent and have always had to disappear to the toilet. Stress and menopause really messed my stomach up.