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Original poster

That thing in films where they…

15 replies

off · 19/08/2023 00:37

…have a massive fight and it turns into the most amazing spontaneous consensual fuck.

Does this actually happen ever?

I don't get it. The last thing I'd want to do is have sex with someone I'm actively furious with. If it was my partner, then okay, the next day when I've slept on it and I'm no longer so angry, I might be up for it, although not any more than usual. But during/right after a huge, raging argument? No way.

I get that in the context of the drama, maybe it's supposed to be about emotions running high, the exhilaration of it all naturally leading to sex somehow, the animal side of our nature being accessed, angrily fucking at each other as a kind of violence in itself (at least initially), or maybe using sex to resolve the disagreement and reassert closeness, or something along those lines. From a narrative standpoint I can see that it's useful, and it does get used a lot.

But… is it actually a real thing, or just a film/TV invention? I can't imagine being even remotely able to want sex in the context of a real, serious, angry argument, but that means I've no idea whether this whole concept is some bollocks made up for telly, or a real thing that other people actually experience.

OP posts:
MeinKraft · 19/08/2023 00:47

Not in my house! In the films those arguments are about passionate romantic stuff like one person thinks the other was making eyes at her up the road and the other shouts 'can't you see it's you I want Becky my loins burn for you and only you!' whereas in my house arguments are more likely to be about unsexy topics like who didn't leave the bins out or whether it's ok to not wear socks in the house when you have a fungal nail infection.

EmmaEmerald · 19/08/2023 00:49

I don't know the answer to your question but I couldn't have sex while angry either.

NamedChangedForThisss · 19/08/2023 00:55

Definitely not the case in my house! My husband can often be a verbally abusive asshole. He's called me a toxic person in front of our children, and there's been several other times we've been in fights where he's yelled at me, and then a few hours later wanted sex. I've basically told him to fuck right off. 😑

Original poster
off · 19/08/2023 01:34

MeinKraft yeah, I guess the film/TV arguments are often about that kind of thing, but the one that prompted me to post tonight was where the couple were arguing about whether they should kill this bloke they've got locked in their car boot or give themselves up to the authorities. Which isn't something I've ever considered the most erotic of subjects. (Though again, in films/TV, killing often seems to make characters desperate for a shag for some reason.)

Named, I'm sorry, that sounds awful and you shouldn't have to put up with verbal abuse no matter how heated the argument.

OP posts:
GarlicGrace · 19/08/2023 01:59

Angry sex can be quite good, ime. Very much depends on exact circumstances, though.

Original poster
off · 19/08/2023 02:02

So it is a thing! Thank you Garlic — yes, I can imagine it must depend heavily on specifics.

OP posts:
Cloudflare · 19/08/2023 02:12

Having angry sex after an argument over whether or not you should kill someone you have in the boot of your car is a bit beyond ‘angry sex’ though. Plus the possible future victim can hear? Lol. What were you watching OP?

I’m pretty sure normal ‘angry sex’ exists but not if the anger is over who takes out the garbage or who it is that changes the shitty diapers, either.

Ilikegreenshoes · 19/08/2023 02:20

MeinKraft · 19/08/2023 00:47

Not in my house! In the films those arguments are about passionate romantic stuff like one person thinks the other was making eyes at her up the road and the other shouts 'can't you see it's you I want Becky my loins burn for you and only you!' whereas in my house arguments are more likely to be about unsexy topics like who didn't leave the bins out or whether it's ok to not wear socks in the house when you have a fungal nail infection.

😂

So true! Films don't show the real things people argue about. I have never in my life felt remotely attracted to DH when we're in the middle of an argument about why the water bill hasn't been paid or who keeps using up all the bogroll (and I know it's him, because he's a scruncher and scrubs away at his arse furiously and repeatedly when he's had a crap, instead of calmly wiping with a folded pad of paper like a civilised person.)

Ooh, sexy. 😂

Original poster
off · 19/08/2023 02:25

Cloudflare, it was the first episode of The Americans, a mainstream glossy TV drama. Not anything that unusual. To be fair, there was more to the whole scene than that (including an instance of the whole killing-makes-people-horny trope), but I didn't want to get into a whole synopsis, and anyway that just happened to be the scene that prompted me to post. I've seen plenty of mid- or immediately post-argument sex scenes in mainstream films and TV, many involving scenarios just as extreme, and it could've been any one of them that pushed me over the edge into asking whether this is an actual thing (though I suspect MNers are in the whole slightly less murdery than film/TV characters Grin).

OP posts:
Cloudflare · 19/08/2023 03:30

Thanks OP. The Americans is an great series. I enjoyed it. I’d forgotten that scene. The lead characters certainly have a complex lifestyle. ‘Felicity’ has turned out to be a very good actress. I watched the Netflix series -The Diplomat - recently and she’s v good in that too.

Cloudflare · 19/08/2023 03:32

Ilikegreenshoes · 19/08/2023 02:20

😂

So true! Films don't show the real things people argue about. I have never in my life felt remotely attracted to DH when we're in the middle of an argument about why the water bill hasn't been paid or who keeps using up all the bogroll (and I know it's him, because he's a scruncher and scrubs away at his arse furiously and repeatedly when he's had a crap, instead of calmly wiping with a folded pad of paper like a civilised person.)

Ooh, sexy. 😂

Show quote history

😂🤣I love mumsnet at times

sashh · 19/08/2023 05:45

GarlicGrace · 19/08/2023 01:59

Angry sex can be quite good, ime. Very much depends on exact circumstances, though.

Also sex with someone you don't like, if you like soeone you care about their experience.

Nothingbuttheglory · 19/08/2023 05:52

Not quite the same but I once got dumped, and then the ex tried to talk me into bed for a farewell shag. I had to explain that I was pretty miffed and not v turned on by the whole vibe so it wouldn't be happening. He just looked utterly perplexed.

Original poster
off · 19/08/2023 21:59

Nothingbuttheglory · 19/08/2023 05:52

Not quite the same but I once got dumped, and then the ex tried to talk me into bed for a farewell shag. I had to explain that I was pretty miffed and not v turned on by the whole vibe so it wouldn't be happening. He just looked utterly perplexed.

Completely deluded 😅 Glad you told him where he could stick it. As it were.

OP posts:
minipie · 19/08/2023 22:02

'can't you see it's you I want Becky my loins burn for you and only you!'

😂 I am now going to think of this line whenever I get vaguely in the mood. MeinKraft you have ruined sex for me.

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