What I have learned from Mumsnet

[LunaTheCat]

Been here now for 5 years.
There is BM ( before Mumsnet) and AM ( after Mumsnet)

Things I have learned
-boundaries are very important at work and in relationships. A lot of us are people pleasers with poor boundaries… Thank you Mumsnet for teaching me that “No” is a word.
-there are a lot abusive relationships, they don’t start that way but abusers show there true self when it is hard to leave… marriage, pregnancy, child, bought a home so financially invested.
-it’s only in the last few months I have learned what “LTB” means!
-One of the best phrases I have heard on here is that “ Comparison is The Thief of Joy”… I said that to my husband when he was complaining about something… it stopped him in his tracks
-I have had lots lovely recommendations in “Style and Beauty” and have learned I am not alone in my love for clothes and it’s all ok!
-that some people are enormously kind and that some will put the boot in
-there is lots of gas-lighting of women in the trans space , and if we try to stand up to or disagree we are accused of being right wing haters… I am most definitely as left as they come

I will add as I think of more

I have learnt that:

• More people that I ever realised have been subject of abuse, in its many forms, and it's really bloody scary. It's incredible how supportive a forum MN is for people in difficult situations, past or present, and there's always good advice if people want it.
• People are very quick to diagnose SEN, but not so quick to accept that sometimes, kids are just arseholes, because there's kids and that's what they do. Not entirely sure it's helpful, as when a child (or adult) does have SEN, it can be trivialised.
• I'm 99.9% sure that a lot of what is said here isn't true. I think it sometimes starts off based on truth, but it's so easy to embroider for effect on an anonymous forum. And a lot of it is also just utter bollocks.
• A lot of people in S&B cannot follow a brief, and instead trot out the same old links. Drives me bananas.
• Men are the enemy, and women are always to be supported. Even when they're clearly idiots, except in very rare situations. Yes, men can be monumental arseholes, but women can be fuckers too - stupidity and poor behaviour is not a solely male trait.
• Don't say anything negative about Eurocamp. Just don't. It's not worth the pile on (even though it is shit )

Ive only been on MN a few months but the main thing I've noticed is that the vast majority of people on here say have kids that are autistic - or at least claim they are.

If a woman has a high sex drive and complains her DH doesn't, the advice seems to be "divorce him hun, life's too short" yet if it's the other way round the husband is a filthy beast who needs to learn to stop demanding nookie.

There's also a lot of "Ooh I earn £300k and I don't know what a Stocks and Shares ISA is. Can anyone advise where to put my cash?" Give over.

A lot of people see their opinion as fact.

Apparently anything under 100k is a low salary

University... I hadn't realised how much parents need to contribute financially now! Its something we are now thinking about even though children arec10&12.

That £74k is a "lowish salary"
I've learnt a lot about abusive relationships, so I have that in my arsenal now.
That sending/not sending your kids to private school is an endlessly contraversial subject.

Cross post eith @PuttingDownRoots

I learnt after my first post on here that even when you are asking for advice, the strangers on the internet think they know more about your life than you do, and fill in any blanks you may leave for confidentiality reasons with absolute nonsense.

Also there are many many many horrible people on here, which is odd as I don’t think I’ve ever met that many horrible people in real life. 🙄

That 99.9% of posters have ADHD or Autism, or have children that are.

What happened to Bipolar? 🤔

That no matter what you comment on, someone will jump in and have a go for absolutely no reason! If you don't like or agree with my comment on an OP's post, just scroll past, no need to comment to try and look clever or berate me! You usually end up looking like dicks anyway! 😁

That if you are a mother and have a son it will be your fault and no one else if he doesn’t turn out to be a perfect individual without any faults traits or anything else.

That no one cares about ND adults

I've learned that:

• you shouldn't consider private school if you earn less than £300k
• Many MNetters earn more than the guy who runs the country in a 'normal City job'
• Lots of women live in financially abusive situations but don't realise it
• Married couples don't pool income and have weird financial arrangements like one pays 21% of the bills, DH pays 72% of the mortgage etc etc...eh?
• You're only allowed to complain about anything financially related if you're a low earner. Otherwise 'know your privilege'