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Job advice- difficult situation

41 replies

Clausesorcauses · 18/08/2023 06:21

Can anyone please give some advice about how to earn money in these circumstances:

Have agoraphobia due to trauma and cannot leave the house alone, sometimes not even with someone else. So cannot go out to work or sell physical products etc.

Cannot talk on the phone or video call.

Haven't worked for 10-15 years and then it was temporary/admin type jobs but unable to do those now due to them being jobs you have to go to in person or deal with people over the phone.

No qualifications.

Are there any possibilities? Thanks in advance for any help.

OP posts:
Eyesopenwideawake · 18/08/2023 09:13

Do you know what caused the trauma?

Clausesorcauses · 18/08/2023 09:32

Thank you. I'll look at people per hour.

Yes, I know what caused the trauma. I'm not sure if I should say on this thread as there's no trigger warning or anything in the title and it can be upsetting. I know I need therapy to deal with it, and that might stop me being scared of interacting with people but it's hard because therapy involves interacting people.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 18/08/2023 09:38

WFH data entry

SecretDoor · 18/08/2023 09:38

do you have any family or support ?

froggyfringe · 18/08/2023 09:41

Hi @Clausesorcauses reading your post takes me back, I had agoraphobia after a traumatic injury, it was horrendous and was like being a prisoner of your own mind. I wouldn't wish the experience on anyone.

I know it's hard when people are saying oh just do this and this.

What helped me was exposure therapy, it's very hard though, I would be in the local shop and my legs would be noticeably shaking, knocking together. I would sweat and shake and often had to run out of the shop.

I would set off an 'easy' way down back alleys etc and reach the shop or street where I was going and have to turn back, god knows what the locals thought I was up to!

Anyway, what helped was CBT sessions weekly, I only had 6 in the end, I tried a group session but I hated it, one to one was better. I was given a chance to talk and learnt CBT techniques to deal with my thought cycles and also exposure therapy.

So every week I had to do something and report back, first few you can go with the therapist or a friend. So I had to stand outside count to 10 and feel very uncomfortable for example, then second week walk a bit further and wait with the uncomfortable feeling.

I had to keep doing it until I got bored and used to the feelings. I had to 'rewire' my brain in a way and it can be done. You have to think of the pathways in your brain regarding your acrophobic feelings as big very entrenched roads, they cannot be overwritten in a day or a week but it can be done.

I went from shaking just walking down the path to now working in a high pressure job and going away on holiday etc. No way saying it's easy though but I refused to give in.

All the best op and sorry if you've heard of all the above before/tried it.

Neverwrestlewithapig · 18/08/2023 09:41

Can you listen in on and watch a video meeting with your mic and camera off? Code First Girls offer free training in a range of tech and you don’t need any experience. They teach the course content via weekly group video meetings but you don’t need to interact with the other pupils and you can complete a solo project. It’s supposed to end with a presentation to the group but I think they may be open to just accepting your project without that aspect if you explain your situation. Alternatively, perhaps you could record yourself talking over your presentation in PowerPoint. They do shorter training courses too which I don’t think have the live element. Whatever you went for, it would be great on your CV and would likely boost your confidence even if you don’t go into coding. Hope that helps.

Eyesopenwideawake · 18/08/2023 09:57

I don't know if it will help but have a look at this video on trauma - it explains how it can be treated without long winded and intrusive therapy (although there is a need to interact by video);

Mmhmmn · 18/08/2023 10:20

So sorry you've had this traumatic event that had this effect on you.

When starting therapy I was in group therapy where someone related having agoraphobia. The therapist leading the group explained that she had helped someone with similar problems by assisting her to gradually walk further distances from home and eventually to a shop. The help is out there. You do tend to have to wait a long time for it (all the more reason to reach out soon).

I think it would be well worth contacting someone directly by email to explain your situation. Is there a research university relatively local to you? They would have therapy professionals who teach and might be able to direct you to the right type of therapist .

Ideally though as someone has suggested, you would write to your GP. They need to be aware of what is happening with you.

If your nightmare came true about breaking your leg and you woke up surrounded by people, the key thing is that YOU WOULD BE OK because they would be there to help you.

On the earning side of things, would you fancy proofreading? You might need a qualification to do it professionally or you could perhaps advertise online to proofread students' essays or such like.

SquishyGloopyBum · 18/08/2023 10:25

I've had EMDR therapy for trauma and it's amazing.

I would focus your efforts on trying to tackle the trauma/agoraphobia then get yourself on a position of finding a job you want to do, not just limited because of your illness.

I hope you find a way and I'm sorry you had something traumatic happen to you.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 18/08/2023 11:52

Audio typing would be good. Make sure you buy the proper set up, footpedal, headphones and software (some come as a kit).

I used to get jobs through UpWorks. Started with quite low paying jobs to get a good rating and worked my way up to better paying jobs.

I never liked the agencies that you divided the audio up into 10 minute snippets and you could only get a couple of them. It sometimes took time to get your ear into different accents, so longer recordings like interviews etc were much better.

Hopefully listening to the voice recordings would actually help you feel connected to people, and maybe eventually you could start talking to people in the phone?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/08/2023 12:09

Do you have any income at all? If you do, such as from benefits, what techniques do you use in order to claim them (as you could possibly use those skills)?

Clausesorcauses · 18/08/2023 12:10

Thank you for all the new replies. I will look into all of the job suggestions and idea for therapy, and I have saved the YouTube video to watch.

I do have family and friends and a husband so I am not alone. I just can't be around strangers, I do speak to people I don't know online now though which I wasn't able to do before.

@froggyfringe that's brilliant, you're amazing!

Thank you all.

OP posts:
Clausesorcauses · 18/08/2023 12:11

@NeverDropYourMooncup sorry, we cross posted so I hadn't replied to you in my previous message. I don't have any income.

OP posts:
Ovinnik · 18/08/2023 12:13

OP you've told us what you can't do - can you have a think about what you can do, as a starting point?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/08/2023 12:58

Clausesorcauses · 18/08/2023 12:11

@NeverDropYourMooncup sorry, we cross posted so I hadn't replied to you in my previous message. I don't have any income.

OK. It's good that you aren't completely alone. I'm going to pose some questions and suggestions but I don't expect answers and I'm making suggestions where your automatic response may be 'no, no. no', but you could think about them.

Does this mean that they are responsible for caring for you, getting you food, paying the bills (as in the process of doing it, not just paying for them), acting as a shield against other people? I wonder whether you are having your fears reinforced by their actions, or if they are unconsciously 'enabling' this in a way that prevents you from leaving this period of paralysis - by their actions, they're confirming to you that there's always danger from hearing a voice, interacting with anybody, never mind leaving the house?

It makes me think of how somebody remaining (or at least appears outwardly to be) calm is able to positively affect a group or individual. I don't want to trigger you, so I'll just give the example of being a first aider - being calm and ensuring they are safe even though I can see somebody has broken their leg is far better for them than running around screaming about it, because they'd then have the worry of my reaction telling them it's even worse than they thought. Could your family be unconsciously doing something on a lower level that's telling you that yes, it is right to panic/be afraid all the time now?

Could they work with you to sit whilst they make a call or as a delivery is made, so you are able to desensitise yourself to the sound and presence of others? Might having a Ring Camera help so you can observe interactions from another room if that feels too much at first?

You're clearly literate in terms of written communication and technologically, so it would be possible to do things like transcribing recordings. DP did that as a start when he was finding it very difficult to manage actual people.

What helped him the most, though, was exercise that involved going outside. He had all the physiological and emotional responses telling him to 'run away' but he was trapped indoors in the freeze response. He agreed to come outside at a very quiet time with me and when he felt the urge to run, he did. It made him feel better because his action was telling his body/mind that 'It felt scary/dangerous, so I ran away'. Which meant the adrenaline had been used up instead of flooding his system all the time with nowhere to go or hide from it, so he felt calmer (and pleased that he'd done it). Over time, he went from hiding under the duvet and still not feeling safe to relative normality where he works, travels by public transport and whilst he's not a fan of very crowded or noisy places, even those can be tolerated at times.

NoSquirrels · 18/08/2023 13:12

It’s excellent advice above from Mooncup.

I do have family and friends and a husband so I am not alone. I just can't be around strangers, I do speak to people I don't know online now though which I wasn't able to do before.

I think you might need to start thinking of a therapist as a friend you do not yet know.

If you can explore tackling the agoraphobia- the physical panic of it, not the root cause - then you can progress to therapy for the underlying trauma in time. If your husband or family can help you to explore this - someone to work with you and them on addressing the agoraphobia - that could be really beneficial.

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