Anniversary present idea for dh who hates money being spent on him 😩

[TotalDramarama]

Our 12th anniversary is coming up at the end of this month and I'm a bit stumped for ideas for a gift for dh.

For Christmas and birthdays I try to just do edible things as he hates money being spent on him. So much so that he has returned a lot of nice gifts I've bought him in the past including a pizza oven, nice clothes etc.

He likes food and wine, so is it a total cop out to just get him food and wine? We will also he on holiday with the kids so can't do romantic meal out or anything

He hates gifts so don't buy him any!

Buy some food you don't usually buy and cook him a nice meal or some treat style food that he likes.

So don’t get him anything. I’ve never heard of anyone buying an anniversary gift for their other half. Does he get you something? Surely most people would just go out and do something together.

You’ve never heard of anyone buying anniversary presents?

Why don't you ask him if there is anything he would like? It doesn't need to be a surprise. If he doesn't usually spend money on himself, there still could be things he would really like / need and then it might be annoying if you choose something random, because be will feel even more so he can't get the thing that he actually needs or wants as money has been spent elsewhere.

Why do you need to get a gift?. We never bothered with anniversary gifts for each other and stopped birthday and Christmas after a few years. No adult has anything they really want and it's all bit of a nonsense when it all comes out of the same pot anyway. Even more so when you know the recipient doesn't like it.

Yes we normally do presents for anniversaries. Nothing big, but usually something. I used to try and do the traditional things like paper for first anniversary and whatever else it is. One was steel and I think I did quite well as I got him a steel pan rest thing in the shape of a heart.

He didn't return that tbf.

I love gifts so I suppose I just forget some people truly don't want them. He never says "don't get me anything" but I know if I spend a lot he would return it.

I don't know what our cooking facilities will be like on holiday bit maybe I'll just take him and the kids out for dinner. Pils are taking the kids for a weekend when we get back, so we can do something else then.

The only reason me and my husband remember our wedding anniversary is because my Aunty sends us a card every year 😂
He doesn’t want a gift - don’t get him one. He obviously doesn’t mind.

That's true @Violet1988. He might like to have a day to go clothes shopping or something so I could get him vouchers and do something else with the kids that day so he can go. He does like doing that on rare occasion

We moved away from doing gifts to each other and instead cook a nice meal on valentines and go out on anniversaries. It means we make an effort, but are not having to buy anything we don't really want.

I appreciate you have the kids with you though. I would definitely get him what he actually likes so go out and eat somewhere nice or get him something smaller like a book about what he likes.

Why not give something that costs time? Plan a lovely walk for the two of you, or cook a special meal when you get home, or make a playlist that means something.

I think you should stop trying to foist unwanted gifts on him!

If you really do want to get a gift though 12th is Silk apparently. Modern gift - according to the internet - is linen sheets. You could get some new sheets for both of you (because I assume you sleep in the same bed).

No. Never.

We could use some new sheets actually... might look at that. That isn't a waste of money or anything and would be a nod to the tradition without giving him a gift he doesn't really want.

Experiences all the way. Unless I actually need something it doesn’t excite me to receive more stuff- and then I feel ungrateful and guilty.

I watched a really finny stand up comedy act the other day and the guy said that absolutely no present a wife/partner buys will ever be as good as getting oral sex 😂😂

He said we shouldn’t bother wasting our money because guys hate gifts, you’ll just buy them something they’ll never use, when really the best present they could have would be oral sex 😂

I was watching it with my husband who said the comedian was 100% right 😂

I agree that you really shouldn't buy something just for the sake of it ... I am the same and it took years and years to finally get the message across to my DH, he is generous and would buy me huge bouquets etc but I am so boringly practical and frugal that I hated the waste of money. What I loved - and finally got this year after 35 years of marriage - was for DH to valet my car .
Is there something like that your DH would like (or a night of passion ?)

Why not stick to a lovely card and a really thoughtful message about how he means to you?

Wanting you have articulated what I was trying to say much more bluntly

or a night of passion

😂 I give that away for free like a sucker

(JOKING - nobody jump up and down please, I know sex isn't a commodity)

and what wanting said

If he likes food and wine, then getting him food and wine would be the right choice, it's not a cop out if it's something the person actually prefers 💁
You can add an anniversary video to make things more romantic though, but I wouldn't do more than that.

id love a bouquet!