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How do you keep your spirits up when it’s just one thing after another

5 replies

Alfiemoon1 · 17/08/2023 00:03

just been having a terrible time recently
so not to drip feed started a new job dmil passed away the day before i started was there around 10 months easy job low level bullying only one not on the group chat if something was wrong like wrong paper in the printer it was always down to me etc. lots of personal disasters friend lost her son unexpectedly best friends dh diagnosed with a brain tumour other friends dh diagnosed with prostrate and bone cancer

dm 83 also had a flood in December and no kitchen until last week so that has been a nightmare

so applied for and got an more interesting job slightly more money a fresh start I thought except while working my notice dh brother died unexpectedly we had to switch off his life support and my friends husband with the brain tumour died the same day their funerals were the week before i started my new job since starting dd boyfriend mum developed a blood clot and the died her funeral was last week dh cousin was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer given weeks to live despite seeing 4 different doctors she passed away yesterday. Had to have Dcat pts last week ddog isn’t well tests came back clear so being tested on Monday for cushings disease. My friends dog went missing today and has been found dead

and if you have managed to read this far it has come to light my dsis who has always been financially reckless always borrowed money of dm imo has been stealing money from her. Dm wasn’t getting her bank statements so I took her to the bank literally passed the statements to her didn’t see them. Cashier confirmed statements had been turned to electronically sent I knew dsis had dm banking app. Dm by her own accord came to me dsis had taken £6k in transfers and bought a £4k gazebo she had no knowledge off I advised her to speak to dsis but as it came about by dsis mithering about power of attorney documents and I found out it’s only dsis as power of attorney we should get it changed to both dm agreed until she spoke to dsis who then called a family meeting in which they both sided against me dm knew how much dsis had borrowed only wanted 1 poa and as dsis was the oldest it was her dm did slip up and say she didn’t always tell her first but dsis said she was muddling up her words. My concern on this is that dsis needs an operation costing £30k and she has been talking about equity release on dm property having emptied her savings account and bank account that is why she was mentioning poa. Dm still has capacity but is obviously influenced by dsis. I am now going low contact with them both

So how do you keep going when it’s one thing after another my job is difficult my head is all over place I was off sick for a few days last week with a cyst I’ve had before and is stress related. me and dd have pamper nights we went to see barbie and have a night out planned tomorrow with her best friend her boyfriends sister who calls me her adopted mum so looking forward to that but life just feels so difficult like I am struggling to be positive and keep going when it’s one thing after another

OP posts:
calmcoco · 17/08/2023 02:17

That's so much! I think the first thing is recognising just how much and trying to take it easy wherever you can.

Do you have people you can chat to?

Also make sure to prioritise you - you have to eat, sleep, get fresh air. Find ways to relax.

manchesterbreak · 17/08/2023 05:25

I've had a very difficult few years - several close family death, health issues, house fire. It all seriously affected my mh. I have had counselling, I do yoga and meditate and I'm much more aware of my thoughts and how I am feeling. I try to avoid thought of "it's always like this" "everything always goes wrong" etc and deal with each individual thing separately. Very few things are unmanageable in the moment, it's the build up and aftermath are worse. So I try to stay present when I'm managing stuff.

manchesterbreak · 17/08/2023 05:30

Also being ok with feelings/emotions regardless of if they are positive or negative. We get very attached to we have to be happy and can spend a lot of time worrying about not being happy. Emotions and feelings come and go so feel sad /unhappy when you need to and try to be ok with that. Which will relax your body and mind and ironically you will probably feel better quicker.

Alfiemoon1 · 19/08/2023 01:00

Thanks everyone had a lovely night out last night with dd and her 2 friends who recently lost their mum. They call me their adopted mum their second mum. It just feels relentless at the moment as soon we start picking ourselves up from one thing something else happens. Dh is dealing with the sudden loss of his brother who he also worked with by focusing on doing his motor bike test and buying a bike they all had little motor bikes but that brother took his test had a super bike? went on biking trips with a group I am not keen but understand he needs to do this but I do feel I am left to support everyone else

funeral booked for next week dh cousin aged 49 4th funeral in 6 months and I am not one for funerals only been to 2 before this stint my granny and dh dad is booked for next week

OP posts:
Autieangel · 19/08/2023 04:13

I don't know how old you are but I did notice a shift from probably late thirties. Less weddings and christenings and more funerals 😢

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