So... this may be long. I've been thinking about it for a while.
When I was a kid, Mum would often have huge strops. She'd sulk, use emotional blackmail etc to get us all to do what she wanted.
And I as a child was too scared to challenge her, to go against her.
Now I'm in my 50s and Mum still scares me. She's ill, and has - as one example - really long, dirty fingernails. I can't say to her 'Mum, your nails are dirty, please cut them' as it makes me too scared - and I realised this triggers feelings from childhood.
So what now? What do I do?