Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Feeling Meh about 40th now

5 replies

GardenGladness23 · 13/08/2023 14:21

Ive never been a big one to celebrate birthdays and no one has ever made a real fuss over me, DH inc, occasionally I’ll get very nice presents but never a surprise. If left to own devices DH gets me nowt. Couple of years ago I just said I wanted a really nice GF bday cake, like a bakery or nice Waitrose one to have with a bottle of fizz, super easy. plenty of notice, DH went to our tiny local M&S on morning of my bday and unsurprisingly they didn’t have anything suitable.

it’s my 40th coming up we’ve been talking about what we’ll do for about 18 months. Said don’t want to do a party and I know why can’t do anything abroad currently due to childcare and cost. Pre kids we were massive foodies so I said what I would like to do is go to a particular restaurant with some of your friends. Spoken to said friends

Told DH about 5 months ago to enquire as they get booked up, they told him you can book in 3 month blocks but most tables go on the day of release iykwim, spoke about it a couple of times since and asked him to diarise. I organise everything no one ever does anything for me and it just felt a bit sad organising my own 40th.

Of course he never did despite me reminding him again 48hrs before and him telling me he had diarised.

of course no tables left for the Friday or Saturday. For lunch or dinner,

Of course we had huge row.

He has managed to find a table on the Thurs at the later sitting, they are 6:30 or 9:45, only for two tho, but has gone and booked it.

I just feel meh, 9:45 is just too late for me, I know we might have had to face that being our only option on a Fri or Sat but said I would have rather done lunch. I’m exhausted by 9pm, we were going to travel down to it (4 hrs on train) or internal flight on the morning to save costs of staying over night before, I just know if we do that then im going to be on my knees by 10:30 (two young kids).

he’s suggested staying over on the Weds - we cannot afford really and could have done something more exciting with that cash, also this means Grandparents doing 3 pick ups and a two night sleep over, as we all know the admin for me and imposition of this on them is huge! DH says he will sort everything , aye right. Youngest is at a school where they swim and have PE twice a week so always a lot of organising. We had to do it last year for a wedding and to be honest the organisation took a real shine off. DH had suggested originally doing it on my actual bday on the Weds but I said no would rather do it the Fri or Sat before or after for this reason!

Also got to tell friends!!

All just feels a bit rubbish now and not easy and lovely like it should have done. He’s been sucking up and and asking me about hotels today and honestly I’m just not arsed now.

OP posts:
BorneoBound · 13/08/2023 14:25

Yanbu, I would feel the same as you. Is it possible to book for the following week or two and celebrate a bit late? I wouldn't be happy going to dinner at 9.45pm

OneFrenchEgg · 13/08/2023 14:30

My 40th was shit and my recent 50th was shit. It's really disappointing for some reason, like a measure of how important you are as a person and not just as a function. I'd sack it off tbh and do something lunch like with friends somewhere else.

GardenGladness23 · 13/08/2023 14:33

@BorneoBound we could however I have a hen weekend on the week after - IYSWIM, so I wanted to have a buffer wknd in between my birthday celebrations and this.

It’s also full on cold season, I have quite low immunity and will often pick up a big after doing something exciting. I didn’t want to be ill for the hen as its expensive and I am looking forward to it. So another reason for ‘buffer’.

OP posts:
Typz · 13/08/2023 14:47

If it helps, I don’t know anyone who enjoyed their fortieth.

And your DH sounds a lot like my DH. Hugs. I’ve come to dread birthdays cos his total lack of thoughtfulness gets me down, especially compared with how my Dad pampered my mum.

FatherJoseFernandez · 13/08/2023 15:30

OneFrenchEgg · 13/08/2023 14:30

My 40th was shit and my recent 50th was shit. It's really disappointing for some reason, like a measure of how important you are as a person and not just as a function. I'd sack it off tbh and do something lunch like with friends somewhere else.

This. Book something fun with mates. Something you want to do and really enjoy yourself x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread