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Ways in which you helped you children academically

23 replies

Endlessdark · 12/08/2023 20:42

I have two dds, one still a baby and one just turned 5. Very strong possibility my older dd has some form of SEN although we’re awaiting a diagnosis and it’s probably going to be a long road. I want to do all I can to help them both succeed academically and just wondered what were things any of you found really helped. She won’t attend classes/ after school clubs as is too anxious to be away from me. It’s even a struggle to get her into school sometimes. Any books you could recommend for me to go through with her etc? My own parents were not around and didn’t help at all academically (not even the biff and chip books!!) so I’d like to do the opposite. She’s heading into year one next month.

thanks so much!

OP posts:
MasterOfOne · 12/08/2023 20:50

Fundamentally for me was understanding dcs learning style..what motivates them and what causes anxiety when it comes to learning.

Making their learning environment and relaxed and enjoyable as possible.

Try to make sure they are learning even when they can't see it "how much flour should I use in that recipe?" Getting them to read and understand instructions.

Now I tell my dc - I only need half or a quarter of that recipe, work it out for me- testing their maths.

It never felt like teaching, if that makes sense?

Greengeranium · 12/08/2023 20:54

Bedtime stories, libraries, following their interests, lots and lots of chat and answering questions as fully as I could, having a variety of music on, audio books, getting out and about into nature.

PermanentTemporary · 12/08/2023 20:56

Things we tried that i think helped ds develop academically:

Music. She's still on the young side for an instrument according to the music teachers I know, 7 is a good age. An alternative is a choir, at church or somewhere else. We also sang at home, rhymes and folk songs. Music is good for every academic skill but particularly maths, listening, languages.

Reading. Just reading books to her, with her. Any books.

Board games. Again, especially good for maths apparently becauseits such a physical expression of counting and measurement and prediction. I would include chess in this (im terrible at it but learned the moves).

Building stuff. Duplo, lego, building weird contraptions with string and bits of furniture. Apparently it's particularly impactful on science progress for girls to have building toys like Meccano - I am so clumsy that I never got to grips with it but Duplo I could do.

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swanling · 12/08/2023 20:57

What does academic success mean to you for your children?

Finding a subject they're passionate about?

Pursuing a vocation?

A* A-levels and a place at Oxbridge?

Achieving the qualifications to pursue the path they want?

High confidence and self-esteem?

Eddyraisins · 12/08/2023 20:59

You can try your best but don't be too hard on yourself.
My dd has a Sci teacher and a maths teacher as parents. Will she let us help with her GCSE revision. Absolutely not.

Also hates Maths and Science. Loves English.

It can be down to pure personality.

BeyondMyWits · 12/08/2023 21:01

Read.

Sit down on an evening and read a book. Show that reading is something you personally value and make time for. Model the behaviour you want to see.

Do puzzles together, everything from jigsaw puzzles, through ones like wordle and sudoku.

Play games together that require counting, strategy or words. Junior scrabble, monopoly, ludo, frustration, uno.

My parents were poor, both in money and education. But they raised 4 kids who all went to uni. We have followed the same plan with our kids and it is beautiful to see them grow in confidence, just though reading and playing.

Best thing ever my parents did, (and we have copied) is provide a lamp attached to the head of the bed ..."you can stay awake an EXTRA half hour to read"

HippyChickMama · 12/08/2023 21:06

Read to them, read with them and let them see you enjoying reading. Have a variety of age appropriate books available, fiction and non fiction, either through the library or bought. Talk about the things they are reading and relate it to other things, for example, if there's a particular animal in the story you could look at facts about that animal together. As they get older, this might include talking about the historical or social context of a book. I believe that encouraging a love of reading and curiosity for knowledge are the best thing you can do to ensure children are able to develop academically and that they enjoy it.

WhatTheActuals · 12/08/2023 21:08

Read to DS from birth, lots of trips to places, watched the news from a young age which many relatives disapproved of. DH and I both work/ worked in academia so DS met lots of academics. They would talk about serious stuff but also knew how to have a laugh.

Intelligence has a genetic component so if totally honest I wanted to have children with someone very intelligent.

Wanted him to have friends more than anything else as I was a bit too nerdy for my schoolmates as was DH. I suspect we are ND. Put a lot of effort in encouraging friendships and also doing extra curricular stuff such as cadets. DS now a young adult is very popular, he is exceptionally clever, but not genius level like his Father who is a leading Professor in his field.

PinkPlantCase · 12/08/2023 21:14

Find something they are ready good at. Even if it isn’t academic, especially if there is SEN. The boost it will give to their self esteem and confidence from being really good at something will have a real knock on effect on everything else.

ThePoetsWife · 12/08/2023 21:17

Read to them

Play puzzle games with them

Talk to them lots!

Do things like going for walks, Nike rides and visiting interesting and different places.

BlossomCloud · 12/08/2023 21:24

Stories, lots of them
Get out and explore the world and talk about it

Just chat to them lots. And get down and play with them, do things with them- baking, painting, Lego, swimming.

And yes , nurture the things they are good and at find support with the things they find harder

TheWayTheLightFalls · 12/08/2023 21:28

Read, read, read.

Show them how you solve problems, whether it's trying different things or typing a question into Google and then talking about the answers.

Show them that education is important and you respect their school and their teachers.

Fenellapitstop · 12/08/2023 21:34

Read, cook with them, talk through how you're measuring things and why you seive things. Baking is all scientific process. Nature walks, talk about what leaves do, bug hunting, dominoes for counting and number recognition, snakes and ladders, museum trips, scrabble and uno as they get bigger. Building blocks, Meccano. All sorts of things. Rainbows is good for your eldest too

DanceMumTaxi · 12/08/2023 21:41

Read, read, read. I honestly think it’s the key to achieving well at school.

magicintheair · 12/08/2023 21:41

I think cultural capital is incredibly important - theatre shows, music, learning an instrument, sports, travelling and talking about a lot of stuff, current affairs, history etc..

magicintheair · 12/08/2023 21:42

Oh yeah and reading, a lot of reading!

NotASlugButASnail · 12/08/2023 21:43

Show an interest in what they are interested in. Expand that interest. Honestly Youtube is one of the best resources to show children things. Watch stuff yourself to see what level it is aimed at. In my children's primary school if they had 5 minutes spare or a wet play time so indoors they would play youtube videos like slow mo guys (year 4) and it is science you can see without needing equipment etc.

My children are much older but basically reading to them, getting them to read to you. Maths at the appropriate level but also every day maths, guess how many litres the petrol tank might fill to, if you do this often enough they get really good at guessing, weighing stuff for fun and guessing which might be heavier, ingredients for recipes, are Warburtons crumpets cheaper than the own brand? Get them to look at the numbers. I know you have said possible SEN but times tables. It isn't working it out it is learning the answer. Children can sing songs so they know what order the words come in, it is the same for times tables, it is just knowing the words five times two is ten. Use times table grid so they can see that with every times table they learn they are also learning the inverse so 2 x 5 i= 10, they have learned a fact from the 5s times tables by doing the 2s.

You want them to be as good as they can be in primary to build on that for secondary. But also remember that learning is not always linear. Ds1 was fairly average achieving, secondary saw him excel, great teachers, a confidence boost and he was flying.

Point out things you don't like and things you are not good at. Show them that even as adults we aren't good at everything and we don't love laundry or mopping floors. It demonstrates that we do things we don't like because they are necessary.

Spend time with them, talk about your childhood, things you did, fill their heads with ideas. Learning takes place every day with the simplest things. It isn't all about the classroom.

DaisyThistle · 12/08/2023 21:57

We read to them every night from young toddler age until they were about 11 or 12.
We talked to them a lot and used a wide vocabulary.
We asked them lots of questions - e.g. if reading a book I might say, 'Why do you think the kitten jumped in the puddle? Or where is the robber hiding? Would you hide in a dustbin? - These sorts of questions train them in critical thinking from a young age.

My SEN DS was in the 'remedial set'. He couldn't write his own name until he was about 8 years old, but without pressurising him, we kept just encouraging him to be interested in the world. When he did show interest in something, we would look out for exhibitions or books or films or computer games that developed that interest.

parietal · 12/08/2023 22:04

Stories and board games and pretend play. Especially if bc might be neurodivergent, then getting the social stuff right at home sets them up for lessons in school.

Look up research from Adele Diamond on how pretend play and listening to stories and music lessons help kids with executive function and social skills.

caringcarer · 12/08/2023 23:54

Got them a good tutor. I created a strong routine of homework before free time in the evenings which lasted throughout school and through Uni too.

caringcarer · 12/08/2023 23:55

Oh, and teaching them to read well before they started school.

booksandbrooks · 13/08/2023 17:14

Children learn through play.

Play is intrinsically motivated

Keep 'learning' fun and child led and go at their pace.

Being way ahead of your peers can make friendships harder and actually make school harder in someways, there aren't enough resources to cater for gifted children and they can struggle with boredom in the classroom and lack of growth mindset and understanding how to work at challenging tasks when education to 18 doesn't provide opportunities to struggle. I wouldn't be in a rush to get them ahead, just nurture their natural curiosity.

PresentPrincess1 · 19/08/2023 22:01

Ds used to like putting the subtitles on tv programmes. I do think it helped him when he was learning to read.

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