Suburbia affecting MH- how to learn to love it

[PrincessMyshkin]

Has anyone got any ideas for being happier in the suburbs? I'm stuck here for about 3 years as am retraining and tbh it is making me miserable being so far from everything.

I don't drive which is a key point. This is for medical reasons and unlikely to change for the foreseeable. I also can't really cycle on roads for the same reason. My health (meds really) does affect my MH and this setting is making it worse.

It's proper deep suburbia, about a 20 min walk from the parade of shops and maybe 1h20 walk into town. Buses aren't great, making it a long round trip. There isn't much nice walking or countryside nearby. The town itself is a bit small and rundown if I'm honest.

I moved to the town to retrain and from the town centre to live with DP. We travel around a lot together and do a lot to make our house and little garden nice and a bit wild, introducing wildlife etc but I am simply not used to all the blank square houses, nobody around and nowhere to go. We are overlooked on all sides. The effect actually makes me quite anxious! I have lived in big cities or the coast since being a teenager and feel quite affected by the lack of space or buzz. It is quiet and safe but I don't really like quiet and safe, I like being able to walk around and see things.

No offence to anyone. Really not suggesting the type of area isn't good enough, it's just not right for me.

I would be really interested to hear what makes people happy about the suburbs to try and capture some of that. No snark intended from me at all. It just doesn't suit me here and I can't readily move. A lot of my course work is online so I'm at home quite a bit, I don't just come home at night.

I'm struggling a bit socially in the area anyway despite trying to meet people. I came knowing nobody, everyone on my course is nice but much younger and I suppose I prioritised finding a partner due to my age. I've joined a walking club and a book club but don't have much time due to the course.

Any advice most welcome!

To be honest I've made a point of keeping weekends pretty free except at exam times so we do get about, it's the coming back and being here all week with no breathing space. I've been doing that since we got together as I thought it isnt really fair to expect him to have no time as a couple just because I have allowed work to pile up. It's more midweek placements that affect attending clubs etc as they're not at regular times. Not insurmountable but does mean I miss some.

Can you get a mobility scooter?

Sounds tough, OP. Your weekends are free, right? Is spending some weekends at various friends' places in the big city an option?

@PrincessMyshkin this might be silly, but could something like Pokémon go might make walking around more interesting? As in, you have places to go and you're not focusing on the identikit surroundings. Can also play on the bus as well to ensure time goes a bit quicker!

Would you be brave enough to post the general area? (Maybe in Mumsnet local)
Some of your tribe might be on here!

Agree with reminding yourself this is very temporary

Do you like singing? If there is a church or a choir/singing group nearby. That always improves my MH (& lungs!)

Work out how much it would cost in theory to learn to drive, buy & run a car. That helps justify you spending that money on cabs to get to somewhere you love

Are your placements at the same location? If they are, could you expand your social activity at the placement location, using home as a base during the week and 'home' with DP at the weekend?

Go for walks after placement finishes or before it starts. Find local coffee shops. Find exercise classes or a pool. Discover markets to browse. Meet up with colleagues. Even if you do this a couple of times a week, it'd give you a change of scenery and pace.

Can you bike? DH and I used to live in a place like you describe but we couldn't afford cars to go places so we ride our bikes to places. It gets you a bit further than just walking to and from town or exploring. We've since moved really rural and we now have a car but we rely on it to get places and don't cycle as much anymore but we miss it. The roads aren't just as good as the suburbs.

From the OP's initial post:

"I don't drive which is a key point. This is for medical reasons and unlikely to change for the foreseeable. I also can't really cycle on roads for the same reason. My health (meds really) does affect my MH and this setting is making it worse."

Thanks all again, placements move around but I do like to explore the areas I'm based in where possible.

I like to try and catch up with course mates a couple of times a week during the day, even just for a tea or a chat.

I'm reasonably fit so wouldn't need a scooter (thanks anyway for replying) just can't really cycle much as a form of transport due to seizures- sometimes have absences which can be quite dangerous if I'm doing anything that doesn't stop with me so bike, treadmill, scooter etc. I've always really relied on walking or running around. Running club might be nice if I can find one that isn't ultra competitive and fast, there doesn't seem to be one very nearby but I'll have another look.

Singing is a lovely idea and we do go to open mics as my partner plays but unfortunately I'm terrible! It's something I really look forward to though as it's a nice crowd.

Everyone is so kind and I do appreciate being heard. It's making me feel better and opening up a lot of ideas. Pokemon sounds fun for instance! Not played it in years. I half expected to be told I was ungrateful when there are people in precarious accommodation

Really understand OP. I spent ages just longing to dash back to my London flat. I'm settled now but I think my bit of suburbia has more to offer than yours from the sounds of things - we do have a high street, library etc.
I did find my tribe in the end. Sending you positive vibes.