Do all kids have an existential crisis when they realise what death means?!

[nomorespaghetti]

I’ve just managed to calm down my 4 (almost 5) year old DS, who was very upset screaming “I don’t want to die”! He had been looking at one of those You Choose books with DH, and the picture showed dinosaur bones and a coffin under the ground. I think he and DH were talking about the picture and the idea that death would also be coming for him suddenly struck! He was very upset, asking questions like why do people have to die, when I die will I be on my own, will I be nothing, when I die will the dinosaurs come back (!) and will we die at the same time!

I remember DD going through similar at age 4, when it seemed to suddenly hit her, and she tearfully asked if she would die one day.

I also remember being paralysed with fear of death when I was a very small child.

Have you/your DC gone through similar at a similar age? Just interested really. Also any tips on how to handle it! With DS I was honest and factual. We’re atheists but I told him what some people believe happens after we die (heaven/reincarnation/nothingness). Then I sang him some songs and distracted him!

My eldest did, it was heartbreaking. Like you I just did my best to reassure him and changed the subject.

Yes. Mine did.

And mine. The crunch point was when he randomly asked me “do builders die?”
He was bereft for quite a long time and we had to be really careful about books and films. He has grown out of it now though, bless him

Yes, one of mine was terrible. I was once called into school as he was inconsolable, I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't want to die!

Yes. We lost a cat (literally, we think she ran away to die alone, she was old and sickly) and that triggered it for both kids, aged maybe 4&7. Then again a couple of years later when their grandma died. They didn't know her, but the idea of it was enough.

I don't think so. My son did become utterly fascinated with death for a while but he wasn't upset about it.

Maybe he doesn't fully feel it yet that it's something that will happen to him to, although he does know this fact.

He's 6.

My daughter was always matter of fact about it too, but she didn't have the same fascination with the subject.

Mine did about four years old. Most upset at the thought the childminder would die. Quite inconsolable at the thought that people didn’t just come back to life.

No, we're Muslim though so have answers to give.
I grew up in a loose Christian/Atheist household and remember going through this, it was around about the time in the 90s when a meteor came close to earth and my sister was talking about it so much I was scared and had to keep getting reassurance from my mum over and over.
I think reach for the stars by S Club 7 was in the charts because that song takes me back to that horrible feeling I had back then.

I vividly remember standing howling on the doorstep while my mother explained to a neighbour that I didn't want to die! I must have been about 5.

I don't think I did.

Can't say I have any memory of ever being upset at the thought, or my younger siblings being upset either.

My family are atheists, but I do remember when I was very small being told that elderly relatives who had died 'went up to heaven', and by the time I had realised that was debatable I was able to rationalise that most people live to a fair old age, so there was no reason for a child to be frightened by the prospect of death. I remember being told that it happens to everyone and it's nothing to be worried about.

I don't recall any specific 'lightbulb' moments, more that I'd always been sceptical of the notion of afterlife, and by the time I was content that it wasn't a thing I was well beyond the age where understanding that death is final would be traumatising.

Daughter had that for a while, we read her the book Waterbugs and Dragonflies which helped. It also helped that we are Christian so we do believe in something beyond death.

I still very much have those feelings as I approach a stage of my life where I'm losing loved ones and seeing others get seriously ill. My own mortality is very much in the forefront of my mind due to health issues lately too. I don't think it ever goes away for some people, we just sort of bury the dread for a while and it keeps popping back up when life gets hard. I try to focus on my religion and trust in God but it is difficult sometimes. It's the loss of others that I fear more than death itself. My faith has always been a bit shaky as I'm a very pessimistic person so holding on to the idea of the afterlife can be hard. My husband on the other hand has an unshakeable belief, once he decides something is true it simply IS. It must feel wonderful to be so sure of the future and I envy him sometimes!