Driving anxiety ocd worried I’ve done something wrong!

[Jessie1995]

Hi guys I posted yesterday regarding hearing a noise to the side of my car whilst passing another moving car and worrying I hit their wing mirror! but wanted to post again to see if anybody has experienced whether I’d have a mark or have felt something!

I have 0 damage to my wing mirror, didn’t even move no scratch paint marks nothing!

I also suffer from OCD so have catatophised the whole thing I’m sure! I heard a thump kind of noise come from the side of my car or near there and I was travelling around 10mph or less other car probably the same so both very slow! I had my window down so noises always louder I’m sure!

anybody with experience know if I did clash wing mirrors with somebody would I have felt something? Like felt I had hit something? And would my mirror have moved/tucked in at least?

I didn’t feel a thing! Not even a slight bump! I simply just heard a thump noise to the side of my car but checked my car over everywhere and nothing!

in hindsight could have been another car behind me going over a bump or something logically but I can’t think logically and just think have I done something wrong!

I did have a queue of cars behind me as I had a cyclist infront and nobody flashed their lights or shouted anything to me!

Wing mirrors hinge so IF you have hit a wing mirror chances are it would have just got pushed in, especially if there isn’t any damage to your car.

Nothing at all! It didn’t even move slightly which I know most people say when they hit a wing mirror there’s did! So I’m just unsure whether I even did!
but no no damage at all to my wing mirror or car!

Say you did…. it doesn’t matter. There’s nothing you can do now. If you hit another wing mirror then it would have either had a minor scratch if hit very gently or folded back in if hit with force. The damage will be minimal. And cars get minimally damaged… its unavoidable.
But I doubt you did with everything you’ve said.
What are you usual coping mechanisms for when your anxiety spirals? Throw your energy at that instead, there’s nothing else you can do now.

What are you worried is going to happen if you did hit them??

Someone bumped my wing mirror the other day, there was a thump, mine folded in, theirs didn't. I put mine out again and carried on. I haven't thought about it since then until now!

If you did bump them their mirror probably folded in. The glass may have broken but at 10mph I doubt it. Either way it doesn't matter. It happens to everyone at some point, it costs about a tenner to replace broken wing mirror glass so I doubt they'd be wanting to chase you down even if it did break.

Would my car wing mirror at least have folded in though? Or have some kind of mark on it? And would I have felt something? Like a hit? I just heard this noise and then jumped straight to it being my wing mirror as I was driving next to moving cars and heard it from the side of me! But I literally have no proof of that!
after a few days I’m normally ok! I try keep distracted!

I think I’m worried that because I carried on driving as literally couldn’t say I actually hit anything or anyone that I’ve left after an accident? Which may sound silly as i have 0 damage to my car!
i over think things too much haha!

I really, really wouldn't worry about it. A wing mirror bump is so very minor and chances are even if you did bump them no damage has been done. Wing mirrors are designed to be knocked about a bit!

would you feel something if you hit it though?
i wasn’t going anymore than around 10mph but something just sounded so loud! But I can’t be certain where it came from!!

Not necessarily. I didn't feel it when my wing mirror got bumped, just heard it sort of "thud" on the side of the car.

It could've been anything though. A stone bouncing up off the road and hitting the underside of the wheel well, a bit of the bodywork popping in the heat (my husband's did this the other day and gave me a heart attack it was so loud). Etc. Etc.

Seriously OP, stop. This is a non event. It doesn’t matter. If you did tap wing mirrors there is no damage so it doesn’t matter. You most likely did not because the mirror would have folded in.

All that has happened is you head a noise from outside. That’s it.

Stop asking the same thing over and over again. You’re going to get the same answer.

Nothing has happened. It does not matter. Get over it.

This is one of the most common forms of OCD. Please speak to your Doctor and maybe have a medication review. 💐

@Kernsworld Bit harsh, it’s a common manifestation of OCD. The OP can’t help it.

I know how you feel OP. When my anxiety and ocd were peak I constantly worried that I’d hit someone with my car. Sometimes I used to drive back to check. It was exhausting. Also sometimes when I’d get home I couldn’t remember all the drive home and I’d convince myself that it was possible that I hit someone and didn’t realize it.

The other thing was I used to cook for a living and was always scared I would accidentally make someone sick - I was constantly washing my hands.

my ocd revolved around fear of accidentally harming someone else.

I got a good psychiatrist. And we talked through it a number of times and he taught me how to challenge my thoughts. Both my great fears are pretty common fear if you have ocd.

it’s horrible when we are dealing with this stuff but it will pass with some effort. In times of stress (Ist year of covid for example) I find ocd will rear it’s ugly head, but never as bad as that time when I was imagining I’d run over someone.

@Jessie1995 . I also have OCD and I suffer with many different scenarios including the driving. Only last week a drive that should of taken me 20 mins took me over an hour because I was going back checking things but then that made me worry about something else so went round again to check. I understand the anxiety your feeling and that urge to make sure everything is ok. But it doesn't work. Have you had any therapy for your OCD?
I appreciate its easier said than done but your supposed to accept uncertainty and not check either physically or mentally. You will feel terrible but over time this will fade. I'm trying hard at the moment myself as a psych nurse I saw recently said only I can do what needs to be done to get better otherwise this relentless cycle will be my life. There are support groups online that I find helpful. Shannon shy on FB I find motivational and also made of millions is for OCD info and support.
I know how hard it is and the anxiety that your feeling. Xx

I recommend a Front and Rear Dash Cam.

Hi,

I have OCD so I do know what I’m talking about though I do appreciate everyone is different. And I also don’t mean to sound harsh. However, what you’re doing here by asking is reassurance seeking (not condemning you, I’ve done it myself in the past! Reassurance seeking is known to make things worse. It provides temporary relief but long term it just reinforces your fears.

If you don’t already, I’d recommend seeing your GP, therapist is you have one. I was previously told that CBT was the best thing but more recently I’ve learned that ERP is more beneficial. Exposure and response prevention essentially encourages you to face your fears/do the things that scare you and your brain will learn that these things are no longer anything to worry about. Again, I totally appreciate everyone is different and it’s not always easy to implement.

I use the Dare app for anxiety but their YouTube channel has a lot of info about OCD too. I also follow Jenna Overbaugh on Instagram and she has lots of helpful information.

Good luck.xx

Hi OP, your anxiety sounds really tough to deal with, I think you could do with some help managing it, do you have a therapist? You're asking over and over if you would have heard something, presumably because you're craving certainty - but what you really need to develop is the ability to tolerate uncertainty - because so much of adult life involves uncertainty. A therapist can help you build up your ability to tolerate anxiety, worry, uncertainty, upset without resorting to checking, seeking reassurance from others etc. The ability to tolerate your feelings will be your super power 😊

Don’t get into the cycle of checking and reassurance seeking that’s inevitable with OCD, it’s just latched into driving. Try to tolerate sitting with the uncertainty and not using compulsions (checking) ERP/CBT therapist here