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Original poster

At what age did your kids get themselves to school?

50 replies

lking12 · 09/08/2023 11:23

Exactly that.
At the moment my husband is home based worker. This works great as he gets the kids breakfast and does the school run.
But he isn’t very well paid.

I’m wondering at what age would you be happy for your kids to sort themselves out in the morning? In the meantime I guess it’s a childminder situation if he moved?

OP posts:
PuttingDownRoots · 09/08/2023 11:25

Do you mean the actual journey or getting themselves out the house?

Walking to school... mine did it from 9yo. But its a 5 minute walk.
Being at home alone including locking door... Secondary age.

BananaSlug · 09/08/2023 11:40

11 secondary school. Wasn’t allowed at my kids school till year 6 so 10/11.

mindutopia · 09/08/2023 11:43

My 10 year old could get herself to school if we lived close enough (it would be a 20 minute walk down a fast A road with no pavement or safe space to walk, so not really an option for us). But no way she'd get up, get dressed, feed herself and out the door to school on time. I'd hope by sometime in secondary school, but she's a bit hopeless. I think, if the walk is safe, kids can probably walk themselves from 8, but they still need a grown up around in the morning until I'd say probably year 7/8.

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Families
Jules912 · 09/08/2023 11:52

Doing the walk year 5/6. My DS is just going into year 7 and I'm not sure I'd trust him to actually get up on time or remember to lock the door, fortunately I don't have to as I wfh. It's a longer walk but we've been practising so he should be able to get himself there.

FurryGiraffe · 09/08/2023 11:59

Yesterday I left DS1 (10) at home alone at 8.15, trusting him to get himself to leave the house and get himself to football camp (a ten minute walk). We've not done that before (he sometimes walks himself to school but someone is always in the house when he leaves). He was absolutely fine. It probably depends on personality a bit as well though. DS1 is very sensible and organised so would be fine to get ready for school completely independently. DS2 is scatty and distractible. If we left him home alone to get himself to school, we'd come home in the afternoon to find him still sat in his bedroom in his PJs reading a book and about to put his school uniform on 'in a minute'. 😂

Original poster
lking12 · 09/08/2023 14:11

Yeah the getting themselves a to b is one thing but actually getting themselves up and ready probably a bigger ask!

OP posts:
2reefsin30knots · 09/08/2023 14:16

Y5 doing the walk alone. Y7, me leaving before him but me getting him up and on his way to ready, Y8 me leaving him in bed.

OnionBhajis · 09/08/2023 14:19

I wouldn't expect my yr 7 child to get themselves up and out by themselves. Get to school yes.

OnionBhajis · 09/08/2023 14:19

Before yr 7 I'd use a breakfast club at school if you can .

elliejjtiny · 09/08/2023 14:23

I don't think any of mine would be able to get themselves up, dressed and get themselves to school on time although dc1 aged 17 only needs waking up and then given a lift to college and dc2 aged 15 just needs a lift to school. Younger 3 need a lot more help. Dc2 gets himself home from school but the others all need a lift. If we lived a lot closer to the school I think dc2 would just about manage.

CatsOnTheChair · 09/08/2023 14:38

DS2, in year 6, would occasionally do this. He'd be up, dressed and breakfasted before I went to work at 7.30. His brother left at 8.10, and he had an alarm set on Alexa to go off at 8.30 to leave for school. The door half locks when you shut it - so if he forgot to use his key, noone could walk in, but it wasn't deadlocked. I guess a bit like an old style Yale lock.
DS1 didn't do it til Y7.
Now about to be Y8 and 10, and go in and out alone if DH is travelling - which is supposed to be 90 days a year, but some of those are in the holidays, when I'm at home anyway.

Beezknees · 09/08/2023 14:43

Secondary school. I worked from home some of the time so he only had to do it 2 days a week. He set an alarm on his phone so he knew when it was time to leave for school.

Beezknees · 09/08/2023 14:45

elliejjtiny · 09/08/2023 14:23

I don't think any of mine would be able to get themselves up, dressed and get themselves to school on time although dc1 aged 17 only needs waking up and then given a lift to college and dc2 aged 15 just needs a lift to school. Younger 3 need a lot more help. Dc2 gets himself home from school but the others all need a lift. If we lived a lot closer to the school I think dc2 would just about manage.

At 17 and 15 years old they can't get themselves up and ready independently? Really? Unless there's a massive backstory that's ridiculous.

Allthegoodusernamesareused · 09/08/2023 14:50

Both my DD'S have made their own way to school and back again (a 2 mile safe cycle or walk) since they started middle school in year 5. Since youngest has been in year 7, I've also increased my hours so she now leaves after me and gets home before me. This summer is the first where I haven't arranged any childcare and she's been home alone when I'm working in the office. She's nearly 13.

mondaytosunday · 09/08/2023 15:10

Our school frowned upon kids going to school on their own before senior school, and you had to collect in person, they would not let the child go without sight if the parent (or nominated person). So mine went from secondary age.
Are you saying that taking the kids to school impacts his workjng hours?
@Beezknees I think @elliejjtiny is referring to her three younger children.

WallaceinAnderland · 09/08/2023 15:28

lking12 · 09/08/2023 14:11

Yeah the getting themselves a to b is one thing but actually getting themselves up and ready probably a bigger ask!

11 years old, secondary school but get them to get everything ready the night before. And check that they have!

Original poster
lking12 · 09/08/2023 16:50

A childminder/breakfast club would cost us £37.50 a day (£12.50 each). 5 days a week is £187. I’m not sure a new job would pay him that much of an uplift after tax so just good to know when they might get themselves there! A while yet, my youngest is 9 months :D.

OP posts:
MeridaBrave · 10/08/2023 12:02

I wake my DS up, and make sure he’s getting dressed before I go to work, he’s just finished year 8. There is a risk he’d sleep in. He sorts out breakfast for himself.

Older DS starts at different times each day (just finished year 12) I don’t wake him.

I think in secondary school as long as one of you checks actually out of bed then can leave before then if you trust them to lock the door! One time I got back from the gym and DS hadn’t closed the front door!!

RuthW · 10/08/2023 12:12

11 at secondary completely. Year 6 was dropped at a friend and they walked together

Moanyoldmoan · 10/08/2023 12:22

Depends on the child my year 7 easily gets himself up and breakfast and out the door and locks it but he sets various iPhone alarms to prompt himself

elliejjtiny · 10/08/2023 12:34

@Beezknees the 15 year old gets himself ready every day. The 17 year old just needs waking up. He would probably manage if I wasn't there but a quick bang on his door doesn't take much effort from me. He has an alarm on his phone as well but he sleeps through that most days. I was the same at his age. When I went to uni I was worried about oversleeping so I got a really loud alarm clock that usually woke up everyone on my landing and half the floor above too! We have to drive the 15 and 17 year olds into school/college because it's too far to walk and the buses are really expensive and unreliable. In the summer there is often requests on the local Facebook page asking everyone who is free and has a car to pick up students who have exams and take them to school/college because the bus hasn't turned up.

museumum · 10/08/2023 12:37

My 10 year old has walked himself to school for a year now but there’s no way he could get ready to a schedule anytime soon. He’d need alarms for every task - breakfast, dressing, teeth and shoes, leave the house. He literally cannot do stuff and be aware of the passage of time simultaneously. I’m not sure when this skill develops to be honest.

Gumptionesque · 10/08/2023 12:48

Year 5 DS walked to school. Year 6 left for last 20mins then trusted to leave on time and lock up. This was only on a handful of occasions though, not daily. We have a key safe he pops the key in, so he doesn’t worry about losing it at school.

He’s a very sensible lad, and could be trusted to get up in time and sort himself out now he’s in yr 7, but him not having someone there to say good morning, to and check he‘s ok at least, make me feel uncomfortable.

Doone21 · 10/08/2023 16:17

8 with very light supervision, 9 or 10 just left to get up, dressed, packed and everything themselves

JustAnotherOpinion123 · 10/08/2023 16:27

Beezknees · 09/08/2023 14:45

At 17 and 15 years old they can't get themselves up and ready independently? Really? Unless there's a massive backstory that's ridiculous.

Show quote history

My mum woke up me up for college when I was 17-18. She even used to wake me up for work when I moved back home after uni! It wasn't that I couldn't do it if I had to (I managed if I stayed at a friend's or my boyfriend's), but it was far too easy to rely on mum as my 2nd alarm clock.