How to deal with an obvious snub?

[socialdilemmawhattodo]

I've namechanged! I go to a certain expensive social gathering with friends. Friends of over 30 years now. Sometimes one of us organises, the next time someone else. We are members of different clubs so it varies where/when we go. This year I arranged for me and another friend to go to an event; it turns out that an overlapping circle are going on the same day. Lovely - the more the merrier. I know most of the circle. No issues with what will be great company. But the organiser of the other group has arranged with my friend lifts, food etc. No mention of me. I caught up with my friend today and they suggested I travel by myself and bring my own food. As they are travelling with the rest of the other party (who are bringing the food for that party). It is a posh event. Glorious - highlight of my summer. I feel I have 2 choices - the fuck you - sit on my own, eat my own food and talk to no-one (brutal) or the swamp with kindness so bring copious amounts of delicious food and drink. As I will have the car to myself - so plenty of room! To provide deliciousness ad nauseum. I have noted the snub and will consider that separately. Any thoughts? ( I am not cancelling the event and will attend, as it will be fabulous).

So you'd arranged to go with a friend who has now opted herself into the bigger group but not included you in it? That's very odd. If it is something like Glyndebourne or the races, I would just bring something delicious to eat for yourself and something generous to share if you like, and just assume you can all sit together. Why wouldn't you?

I’d try and go with someone else (literally anyone 😂) with a massive picnic. All those pricey treats? Buy them! And take photos!

And then do some enquiries as to what went wrong. Why is your friend going along with this? Why are they not including you? Did no one else realise what was happening? Do they deserve your friendship and affection and love? Or is your energy better spent elsewhere expanding (or replacing?) your friendship group?

OP, this reads poorly, it sounds as if you are being dumped mid outing?

Apologies if I have misread.

Please spell it out.😁

Do you know if the snub has resulted from the actions of your friend for not making it clear to the other group that you had arranged to go as a pair and therefore should be included in plans for travel and food OR are the other group fully aware that you are also going and have invited your friend to join them but purposefully not included you in their plans?

If it's the latter then f*ck the lot of them!

If it's the former then your 'friend' is a bit of a bitch so I would join the group on the day with your lovely food/drink but avoid making any 1:1 plans with that particular person again

I’ll come. Let’s get a Fortnums hamper. I’ve got some lovely folding chairs we can take.

As someone else suggested, find someone else to go with and take champers and delious good. Fuck em!

Who bought the tickets?
I’d be furious with the friend you arranged to go with.

WTF is your “friend” playing at? Why is she not including you in the bigger group, or if she feels she can’t, she should at least stick with you.

How well do you know the other group? If fairly well, could you message one of them saying “hey, I heard from Friend that we are all going to X on the same evening! Friend and I were already going together, do you mind if we join you? Will bring delicious contributions of course!”

Yeah invite me - I've got a Fortnums hamper someone gave me plus I have about ten bottles of champagne people keep giving me (I only drink gin) so can bring that

I've a posh voice and a frock so I will fit right in at Glyndebourne

’friend’ sounds like a total ghoul.
I doubt the others know what she has done.
go and enjoy it all and have fun with everyone and never arrange anything with this friend alone again

This is nuts! What did you say to her?! You agreed to go with her and she's ditched you to travel and eat with other people? And suggested you travel alone??

You are all so lovely. I bought the tickets - I am the member. But the other ticket holders normally repay. And we have always shared the food choices.
Yes @DaisyThistle it's G. And I like the idea of the generous to share. Probably a decent cheese platter. ( I picknicked @G with their picnic earlier this season with supposedly local cheeses - nothing like).

@GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLifeOr is your energy better spent elsewhere expanding (or replacing?) your friendship group? It is. Luckily for me this friendship group is activity focussed. So I can move on.

@ BestMammyEver
I am now meeting them at the event. My friend has originally suggested that he would collect me. Luckily I drive and have a choice of car. I'm taking the sports car. The only down side is I cant drink as much as I might have.

@UltramarineViolet
Good question. My friend is related to the other organiser (siblings). The date was random not the event. So I think the former. But thank you for your thoughts. Most useful.

I am very active on FWR on this site and other social media sites. My friends dont approve at all. Literally dont approve. I do wonder if that is part of this. I'll find out Friday. Thank you so much for your responses.