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Original poster

It's not normal for a 13 month old to wake so often?

32 replies

HappyForRainbow · 08/08/2023 05:29

I'm struggling with sleep for DS. He sleeps in his crib in the nursery but I have a single bed in there too which I/DH sleep on.

DS wakes every 45-90mins for the first 4ish hours of the night, then every 2-3 hours until he wakes around 4/5 and refuses to go back in his cot and ends up in the bed with me until 7. Every night. He stands up in his cot and screams or cries until I come. Sometimes because he wants a dummy, others it's still in his mouth! I have to help lay him back down and pat/shush/sing until he falls back asleep. Sometimes have to pick him up.

He doesn't feed at night, and eats well during the day including a pre bed snack. Had the same bedtime routine for months. Uses a night light and white noise. Not teething. But sleep is getting worse.

I'm not able to leave him to cry because that sounds like the only thing worse than getting no sleep!

But surely 10+ wake ups is not normal.

OP posts:
letspartytomorrow · 08/08/2023 05:39

I have no solutions but I am in the same boat. I'm very tired!

TheOpenRoad · 08/08/2023 05:39

It sounds perfectly normal to me, although exhausting for everyone involved. Some kids ate great sleepers and others are not, they are all normal. One of my DC was like this, in the end we tried sleep training (which didn't do much) and eventually he grew out of it. It was really hard so I feel for you.

If your DC is not in pain and not hungry, your options are probably either put up with it or consider sleep training. And of course take turns with your husband to do night wakings.

InterferingOutsider · 08/08/2023 05:40

how are you calculating 10 wake ups a night? What time are you putting him to bed? If it's 8pm then 8-midnight is 4 wake ups, one at 2 and then up for the day. 5 wake-ups. Is he tired when you're putting him to bed?

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NatMoz · 08/08/2023 05:44

InterferingOutsider · 08/08/2023 05:40

how are you calculating 10 wake ups a night? What time are you putting him to bed? If it's 8pm then 8-midnight is 4 wake ups, one at 2 and then up for the day. 5 wake-ups. Is he tired when you're putting him to bed?

I mean...does it matter? Who on earth wants 5 wake ups never mind ten!

Imogensmumma · 08/08/2023 05:47

That sounds exhausting !! I thought my 13 month was bad with 4 wake ups you must feel like a zombie.

Is he warm enough and/or have you tried weetbix/porridge at night to ensure he has a full belly.

Hope you find a solution soon 💐💐

InterferingOutsider · 08/08/2023 05:53

@NatMoz I'd have thought it matters if she putting him to bed at 5pm and expecting him to sleep through until 7am. Obviously 5 wake ups is not a good thing in any one's book but I was just trying to understand their routine.

Original poster
HappyForRainbow · 08/08/2023 05:53

InterferingOutsider · 08/08/2023 05:40

how are you calculating 10 wake ups a night? What time are you putting him to bed? If it's 8pm then 8-midnight is 4 wake ups, one at 2 and then up for the day. 5 wake-ups. Is he tired when you're putting him to bed?

I'm 'calculating' it by waking up multiple times when he screams, or cries or needs something. I promise, it's very often 10.

He is tired when he goes to bed. He has 1 nap a day, waking around 2-2.30pm then bed at 7.30. He falls asleep fine.

OP posts:
Katy4321 · 08/08/2023 05:54

My daughter only just started getting better at sleeping through around then.
Our baby monitor plays music, which we play when comforting her, so now that has a positive sleep association and sometimes putting that on alone can settles her. Is your baby thirsty? I would try offering some water milk in the night?
It will very likely start in improving soon (that's what out HV said at the one year check and she was correct), but it is exhausting.

Original poster
HappyForRainbow · 08/08/2023 05:56

Imogensmumma · 08/08/2023 05:47

That sounds exhausting !! I thought my 13 month was bad with 4 wake ups you must feel like a zombie.

Is he warm enough and/or have you tried weetbix/porridge at night to ensure he has a full belly.

Hope you find a solution soon 💐💐

I do! Though 4 isn't great either!! I hope it gets better for you.

I do porridge or some other snack and milk in a sippy cup around 7pm! I don't think he's hungry! And I'm in the same room as him and the monitor temp is normal too. I can't think of what else to do 😫

OP posts:
Mmmmpavlova · 08/08/2023 06:00

Yes my baby was like this. Woke up 8 to 12 times a night at that stage. It was completely exhausting, but she did improve a lot soon after that age. We didn't do anything to make her better - I kept responding every time - but at just naturally got better over time. By 18 months she started sleeping completely through the night!

Original poster
HappyForRainbow · 08/08/2023 06:04

Thank you all for the hope!! It feels like all the babies in the baby groups have been sleeping through forever or only waking once. At least glad to know this is 'normal' and gets better.

OP posts:
TheOpenRoad · 08/08/2023 06:14

Nothing worse than smug mums at baby groups giving you advice you clearly don't need. Used to make me want to scream, often felt so patronising and downright rude. Like most sleep deprived mums haven't already tried everything! Nobody enjoys 10 wakeups a night

What took the biscuit was one of my smug friends with a perfect sleeper having a bad night and afterwards had the cheek to say that it was worse for her as she wss used to a full night's sleep. Um no, sleep deprivation is worse for the person who hasn't had a full night in 18 months!

Usedtobecool · 08/08/2023 06:16

Could he be overtired? We have 13m old, he's still on 2 naps a day (about 3hrs of daytime nap) then ready to go in his cot about 7pm.

He's only just started sleeping well through the night but has generally been good with the first chunk 7-12 for a while.

1st child had issues with waking up lots shortly after going down and we found that an earlier bed time helped. At one point she was going to sleep at 6:30.

Nevermay · 08/08/2023 06:19

The number of wakeups indicates that he is going to sleep very well! Many babies have far fewer "wake ups" because they are awake for hours each time, so you would not get 10, or even 5 wake ups in one night.

He doesn't know he is waking up, because babies don't know if they have been asleep.

Does he sleep better without white noise? Alone in the room? In your bed? drinking less in the evening?

Olika · 08/08/2023 06:19

Could it be scout him bring overtired? Perhaps he still needs two naps.

Orla32 · 08/08/2023 06:21

We're struggling with our 15 month old DS too. He is ok 6pm - 12am then up for 2 hours before going back down and waking every 1-2 hours after until getting up between 5/6.

He is at nursery all day every day and has been since 10 months, eats well, black out blinds, white noise, same bed time routine etc.... nothing seems to work.

The only thing I can think of is maybe new skills? He is coming out with more and more words etc so maybe developmental- is your DS going through anything major developmentally?

I have so much sympathy as we are both extremely exhausted and it makes work so hard.

InvincibleInvisibility · 08/08/2023 06:39

I have loads sympathy of sympathy cos Ds1 and 2 were the same.

DS1 was the worst. He woke very frequently but cried and screamed as he just didn't want to be awake but couldn't sleep.

We never really got to the bottom of it but a huge breakthrough was being diagnosed lactose intolerant aged 3. He had been having massive acid relux attacks every night.

He also has ADHD which played a big part too. He is now 12 and has never needed as much sleep (has to tale melatonin) as other people but is considerate and doesn't wake me in the night.

When DS2 was also a bad sleeper I just gave up as I was so exhausted. DH slept in the same room as DS1 (single beds each pushed together) and Ds2 slept with me. He woke frequently too but as he could cuddle against me he didn't scream and cry like DS1 had. (No reflux for him but also ADHD). DS2 carried on waking a few times a night but settled cos DH was next to him.

I read every sleep book going. We had a strict routine for meals and naps in an attempt to have decent nights. And yet I used to dread every hour that got closer to bedtime.

Does DH help at night? Mine didn't until we had 2 non sleepers at the same time. With hindsight I wish I had coslept with Ds1 (without DH cos DS1 rolled everywhere all night)
Given DS1 to DH for a night, gone to a hotel and taken a sleeping tablet.

InvincibleInvisibility · 08/08/2023 06:42

Also from 12 months we couldn't have DS1 in a cot cos he rolled around so much in his sleep he banged the bars and woke up. The occasional night in our king bed I used to watch in amazement as he sleep rolled and sleep crawled around our bed.....

We solved part of that by buying a single bed with a high headboard and foot board. Then pushed it against the wall and added a bed barrier on the other side. Massive bed for a 12 month old but he needed space!

crostini · 08/08/2023 06:47

Is he on the verge of something?
Like learning to walk?
That can disrupt sleep.
But also,I've found that when kids start walking properly their sleep improves a lot

hippygirllucky · 08/08/2023 06:57

Pre 5-months our daughter slept through the night. Something happened at 5 months and she started waking every 2 hours. By 6 months it was every hour and by 7 it was every 45 mins. It broke us. We did gentle sleep training. It was hard. She'd sometimes scream for 3+ hours straight. After about a month she was sleeping 7pm-7am with no wake ups. Most importantly, the difference in her was night and day. Pre sleep training she was so miserable and exhausted from such disturbed sleep, very clingy and just a sad baby. After she was so happy and so much quicker to learn and engage with the world around her. If you do consider sleep training, please remember that it can be very hard to begin with but the positive outcome for your baby when they are fully rested can be enormous!

hippygirllucky · 08/08/2023 06:58

Having said all that, we did have a period between about 12-15 months where she would wake in the night, it was just how it was. We let her wake at first but when it got too much we sleep trained again.

Greenfree · 08/08/2023 07:04

My friends bay was doing this at that age, he started giving him a bottle of warm milk on his 2nd or 3rd wake up at around midnight he then slept through. She didn't think he was hungry but thought it was a comfort thing. He then got very attached to a teddy and used that to comfort himself back to sleep. He sleeps through now. I hope it gets better for you

Original poster
HappyForRainbow · 08/08/2023 10:15

Thanks all.

He does sleep a lot better cosleeping, only waking a few times and easier to get back to sleep, but it's not safe with DH, so we have to be separate and I'd also like to eventually share a bed with my husband again! DS has never fully coslept but has always reached a point in the night he wants out of the cot/bassinet and in for cuddles!

He chose to drop his 2nd nap himself, just started to refuse the afternoon nap! I wasn't planning on doing it so early but he made us. His sleep wasn't great on 2 naps either though.

I'll try putting him down earlier tonight just in case it is an overtired thing!

He is learning to walk! He can take a few steps. I hope when he figures that out sleep will be better!

And DH does help, but he works (from home) evenings/until 2/3am often and watches DS while I work FT M-F so he can't do it as frequently as I need to function. But not his fault!

OP posts:
Original poster
HappyForRainbow · 11/08/2023 00:47

For the person who said they posted on MN and then a few days later the baby slept better - HALLELUJAH. That is the answer!

After my post in desperation, 2 nights later DS slept in his cot all night with only 2 brief wakeups! It was the best night he's ever had.

I'm not counting all my chickens yet, but desperate mums of MN - have you tried posting a desperate thread bemoaning your lack of sleep? Much easier than CIO or Ferber. Post and 2 days later the baby sleeps!

Try it and thank me later 😂

OP posts: