What does your 9-11 year old do with friends?

[drspouse]

For context I have an 11 year old DS with SEN (ADHD/not quite enough social difficulty for an ASD diagnosis/social anxiety) and a 9 year old DD who is a tiny bit immature (her best friend is a similar boy to DS).
DS has a mentor at the moment who plays with him and is helping him with turn taking etc. Today they were playing with monster trucks but I spotted a friend with a same age boy posting on FB "end of an era, we are getting rid of the toy cars".

DD plays pretend schools/hospitals/camping on her own and we've had play dates with craft/cooking though they can also be very random running around. My DN at the same age/bit older played with her dolls house though so that seems appropriate.

DS has no friends he sees outside school (he's at a specialist school which is not that far from us but other children come a long way, and friends from when he was in mainstream have all dried up). But we really need to try and get him involved in groups only I'm just not sure which of his interests (he does have others, swimming, drawing, Lego, Mario on his Switch, Minecraft) are even age appropriate.

Dd 11 mainly stuff on laptop and drawing

However does stilk ask for things like LOL tweens, barbies etc but once opened played once or twice then that's it. She will play with 5yo though for a fair while

I think it depends on the child. My ten year old daughter plays pretend, makes slime, trampolines, plays with lego/mecchano, plays table football and engages in general silliness.

My 10yo dd had a friend around today - they chatted, played minecraft together (building a world rather than fighting monsters), they did some baking, they played with our pets and they went to the park.

She still has toys, but hugely less that we used to have as she only plays occasionally with specific things. She still engages in imaginative roleplaying, but again, this is much less often.

I have dd who are 9.5 and 11.5. 11yo has asd.

Until she turned 11, dd1 played with LOLs and similar and imaginary games with dd2. This has tailed off recently and she mostly draws and plays with her iPad. With her friends they make or watch videos, play outside. A lot more chatting.

dd2 is 9 and quite active with friends - cartwheels etc. she is generally more sporty though. They also make dens and play with toys and do crafts. She has stopped playing with the toys as much and we have masses of play Mobil and sylvanians to sort through.

Luckily we never got into Playmobil or Sylvanians!

I forgot he likes table football - the table needs a tweak but they may actually have it at school too. Good call.

My DS is nearly 10 and has ADHD (again some ASD traits but not diagnosis level).

He loves gaming, but also playing a lot of Lego. Does a few activities like karate, tennis and swimming.

When he's with friends they tend to do a combination of gaming and playing in the garden/room (sword fights/tennis), they love Pokemon cards and cuddly toys too.

Thanks all. I am trying to think of things he can do with his school mates with a view to them being things he's comfortable doing with friends.
Of course he'd actually need some friends as well, but that's an ongoing battle.