where do I even start?!

[ExhaustedDinosaur]

I've had to kick my lodger out. He turned out to be a violent drug addict and it took me far too long to actually stand up for myself and call the police to get him out. But I eventually did it and he's now gone and I'm looking forward to feeling safe in my own home again.

He left his room in a complete state. Furniture smashed to pieces, holes in the walls, food and drink spills just left and not cleaned up, face and pubic hair shavings all over the floor, it stinks of weed and cigarettes. It's disgusting.

I've had the door closed and been ignoring it since he left but I need to go in there and get it cleaned up. I probably won't use the room, at least for now, but as part of reclaiming my home and getting rid of all traces of him I want to clean it and repaint it and then shut the door and pretend the clean and empty room does not exist I might be slightly traumatised and not ready to deal with that yet.

But I don't even know where to start. Every time I go to open the door and get started I get completely overwhelmed by the thought of there being so much to do and not knowing where to start.

Do you have some friends that could help you? I'd ask a couple of friends to help, get some old clothes on, whack up the disco tunes super loud and get going.

Then close the door, have a shower and get them all a take away and share a bottle.of wine with them toasting your hard work x

If you can afford it could you get a cleaner in to just do tgd really grotty stuff then you can redecorate as and when. Turn it into an office do it bears no resemblance to the former bedroom?

Sorry you had this experience, OP.

As PP suggested, see if a couple of friends would be willing to help. Even if not, I'd go and buy some lovely new cleaning products. I'd hire a skip and dump absolutely everything out of there (carpet included). Then I'd take a day off work, stick some old clothes on, crank up the music and just get stuck in.

Do you have the budget to decorate too? Just a dash of paint on the walls- maybe let yourself go a bit adventurous as a treat. And then new carpet, doesn't have to be expensive.

@Limth thank you🌸

I don't have anyone who would be able to help, or the budget for skips and cleaners he stopped paying rent six months ago so I'm a bit broke right now. I can just about afford to patch up all the holes and just paint everything white for now. When I'm ready to use the room again in the future I'll redecorate properly but for now I just want it clean and white and empty and clean.

Is there anything I can I don't know spray in there or something to get rid of some of the stink? If I sprayed a couple of bottles of febreeze in there and left it for a couple of days would that help? I'm a non smoker and he was not allowed to smoke in the house but he ignored that and has been smoking not just cigarettes but weed too in his room. I think if I could get rid of some of that first it might help me to be able to go in there and get started on the cleaning.

The smell will have been absorbed by any fabric/carpet in there so the first thing you need to do is go in and fill bin bags and chuck it all out not necessarily the carpet at this stage.

I would get rid of the carpet, cut it up and take to the tip. Perhaps wash down the walls and ceiling with sugar soap so you can assess the damage. I wouldn’t febreeze because I hate those kind of smells, the smell will always be associated with the bloke and room forever. After you’ve washed it all down leave the window open for a while if you can. Then buy some of that lightweight filler that dries in minutes. You might need some specialist pain on some of the marks, depending what they are.

*paint

If you have a face mask and good gloves it will make you feel a bit safer. If you can't afford help you just have to do it. I'd have a lot of refuse bags ready and just pick up general rubbish, food etc at first and recycling bags too. Take as much stinky stuff out at the start as you can and then it won't feel so daunting and uncomfortable next time you go in.

Set a 2 hour time for stage 1 and just go for it, mentally schedule the next part then giving yourself a few days break. or only focus on one corner the first day and ignore all else. That's what I would do if a task felt overwhelming.

Sorry this is happening, I can imagine its been awful
.

I agree with @smooththecat and @MNetcurtains - getting rid of the carpet, curtains and any fabrics left in there will help with getting rid of the smell of the smoke.

If the walls are stained with cigarette smoke, there is a product you can paint on - called Stain Guard, I think - that seals in the staining before you repaint, so it doesn’t ooze through the new paint.

I find these methods word:

Choose a thing - so choose clothes - pick up all the clothes. \then fag butts, all the fag butts, keep going

Choose an area - so bed, do the bed, then go back and do the rubbish, then go back and do the floor, then clean the walls

Or just hire a small cleaning team for rubbish collection or just to start you off

Do 30 mins a day to deal with it. Don't try to tackle everything at once. Break it down into smaller tasks.

Can you afford to pay the council to collect the furniture? It's usually much cheaper than a skip, but has to be pre-arranged for a specific day and the stuff left outside.

Clean the room with sugar soap and leave the window open as much as possible. Hire or borrow a carpet cleaner and clean the carpet. That will make a huge difference. Wash the curtains - even if they're dry clean only, a cool wash with some Ace bleach will lift most smells.

Use a primer such as Zinsser BIN on the paintwork to seal things and stop the smell of smoke coming through.

Breaking it down in to smaller tasks is a very good idea. I don't know why that hadn't occured to me. I was just totally overwhelmed at the huge amount of things to do. But I don't have to go in there and do it all at once. That's probably physically impossible on my own anyway. But I can definitely go in there for just an hour or just one black bag full or just one section.

The windows have been open since he left so hopefully that will have helped a bit. I'm going to make a start tomorrow!

All the advice to tackle one small area at a time is good advice, otherwise you may feel overwhelmed. Baby steps OP, baby steps. You'll get there.

How full is it with stuff? Someone mentioned above that the council will usually remove large items for a fee. Check your council website, mine does three large items at a time for a small fee. Get some strong black bags as you don’t want stuff spilling out into your car.

I've booked a rubbish collection for the bed and sofa and broken wardrobe.
I've taken down the curtains and will try washing them.
I've removed plates and cups and empty food packages.
There's broken glass mixed in with all the piles of rubbish and clothes so I need to get some thicker gloves but at least I've made a start.

I can see the floor!

Well done OP, it sounds as though you're making real progress. Keep doing bits at a time, whatever you can management, so you're not overwhelmed.

If the carpet isn't too badly damaged you may get away with hiring a carpet cleaner (lots of dry cleaners or supermarkets do them) to give it a good clean. Will be cheaper than replacing it.

Be proud of what you've achieved so far, both in terms of getting rid of the lodger and clearing up.

*manage

Rubble sacks, rubber gloves,
Throw everything you want to away first.

That's a start.

Empty hoover, they suck better then, big big hoover

Then febreeze all over windows open leave for a couple of days

Then repair work.

Fuck his ghost it's your home.

Sounds like you’re doing really well. The thick gardening type gloves with a coating might be good for glass.

🏠😃
It took a while but it's finally finished! It's empty, clean, everything fixed and painted. I will eventually use the room again and will redecorate with colour etc but for now it's all white and clean. Everything broken has been fixed or replaced, it doesn't smell bad and my house is starting to feel like my home again.

Well done!