what is in my best interest is not in my kids best interest

[MentholLoad]

I want to sell my house and move 150 miles to the countryside so I can be mortgage free and reduce/give up work. my health is rubbish, I'm tired and want a slower pace. my boys are 13 and 18. I have to wait some years yet, don't I?

What is it you’re finding u sustainable about your current situation? Maybe we can offer ideas to ease it a little bit until you can make the move.

There’s a lot of assumption that you only have to house them till 18 but in reality I know few parents who would just turf out an 18 year old who wanted to stay at home.

I wouldn't force a move to the countryside at 13.

You're right, you need to wait. And your a good mum to see that you need to wait.

I'm in a similar position and imo yes, i/we have to wait. I don't want to disrupt DD at school.

Don't uproot your 13 year old. You'll make him really unhappy.
when my younger bro was 18 my parents moved away and he moved in with our other bro who still lived in that area who is a few years older, until he was ready to find his own house share. Would that ever be an option?

Agree that it would be miserable for the 13 year old, but set a five year plan and let the boys know. Everything’s easier to bear when you can see the end in sight :)

I don't know where you are but could you move to a cheaper (Northern?) town or city? Maybe at the point your youngest goes to sixth form? Could a sixth form college be an option?

I actually think moving now would be most unfair on the 18 year old. I assume during their apprenticeship they aren’t earning anywhere near enough to consider living independently so if you move it puts them in a very tough situation.

I think you should stay where you are for four years and actively look for a place in the fifth year.

You could have weekends and picnics to all the places that you would like to live so that you are well prepared. You could form some contacts with hobbies in the area.

If you found the perfect place in just a couple of years you could sell your house and purchase another and rent it out (while you rented near where you live now).

I'm afraid I would also stay put, but I would let the kids know the 5 year plan now. Are you in a position to go interest only on your mortgage to give yourself some breathing space?

I think you should move, health is a really important thing to prioritise. It's not like you're moving just because you fancy it.

You haven’t said what your actual health issues are but you have lived in the countryside before so just really consider the distance for services. I know online shopping has changed the face of more remote living but think hard on this one. I grew up rurally so as much as I hanker for the great aspects I remember the downsides. Do you mean village living or actually remote living, no neighbours living?

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A tiny percentage of kids go to “prep” schools, and even among those who do, starting senior school at 11 increasingly seems the norm anyway.

I don’t know any school system, worldwide, where secondary starts at 13. 12 is the usual age in most countries.