What money are young children entitled to if ex dies?

[MamaBear9]

I found out that my ex is very ill and may die soon. We have a very strained relationship and barely speak but he called to tell me last week. We have two children under 18 (primary school ages).

I really don’t feel I can ask him about money but I’m worried that if he dies, his father (who he lives with in his fathers home, and who has a gambling addiction) will spend every penny my ex has and my children won’t get anything.

He doesn’t own property, won’t have a Will or much savings. But I know he has a decent pension from the company he works for and the one he used to work for. Does anyone know what we’d be entitled to and how I’d go about claiming? Can I stop his father from getting his money now I’m no longer his next of kin?

I live in the UK

Which part of the UK ? Rules are different x

You can't really apply for someone's money. It'll go to whoever he's named in his will 🤷‍♀️

Are you still married, divorced or never married? Why do you think he doesnt have a will?

Where pensions are concerned there is usually a named beneficiary. If there is no property etc there sadly isn’t much to leave .

OP says he hasn't made a will. I think in this case next of kin would be his children.

I’m in Scotland. He hasn’t got a Will. And I’m pretty sure my children should be entitled to their father’s inheritance.

I thought you nominated who your pension goes to? Has he ever asked you for the kds bank details. With the nhs you nominate and give all their details but private could be different.

We’re divorced. I know when we got divorced I change my preferred beneficiary of my Will (to a trust for my children), and my employer said they’d try to stick to my wishes but he might legally challenge it to gain access if he became their primary carer.

You can’t disinherit children in Scotland. A spouse can have prior rights (doesn’t sound like it applies here)but children are entitled to 1/3 of the moveable property ( anything that’s not bricks and mortar) divided between them. It’s known as the Bairn’s share.

He’s not a responsible person and has a gambling addiction too so there’s no way he’d spend money on a Will. Refused to do it when we were married and had children.

Your kids may get part of his pension until they are adults, depending on the type of pension. My brother wasn’t married but had a partner and a 14 year old daughter, and my niece got a lump sum and part of the pension (England).

Interesting. What if a property was bought using family inheritance money and the widow/widower remarries? Would the new spouse by pass any children in line for inheritance and be granted 100% of the property in this situation?

If he has a pension then his children may be beneficiaries as they are dependants and could receive a regular payment. It would be best to ask him now if that is likely and for the details you’ll need to claim on their behalf.

As you are in Scotland and there's no will whatever he has will be split equally between the children after debts are settled.

If a spouse is ordinarily resident in the property then it will bypass children/ any other claim on the estate as well as the first 50k of the estate. If there is anything left then a third of moveable estate to children.

@MamaBear9

It sounds like his work place pension is the biggest issue.

Without a spouse, it's usually best that someone is nominated as the beneficiary. There may be death-in-service benefits if he is dying while of working age. Pension benefits tend to go to a spouse automatically when there is one. Otherwise, any nominated person comes first. For the sake of clarity, making a nomination is usually the clearest thing to do.

Do you think he could be encouraged to contact the pensions department of his employer and make the nomination? No cost involved in that.

Even if he doesn't, I expect you could try and pursue this on behalf of your children. But I remember being advised that making a nomination is the surest way of making sure it goes to the right place. (I was unmarried and without children for a good number of years; I was advised to nominate someone or it wouldn't be paid out to anyone. Not quite the same as actually having children but I wouldn't want to give them any excuse not to pay out).

I had to go to CMS to force him to pay me child maintenance and he doesn’t pay a penny more than he absolutely has to. I know he’ll get really angry if I mention money.

Do you think he loves his children? If you do just say if he does there will be no more child maintenance for DC. Bite the bullet and ask if DC will be beneficiaries of his pension. If need be tell him he can leave instructions for it to be held for them until they are 18. This just in case he will refuse on the grounds you may get it.

I think you have to balance up how potentially spiteful/ difficult he is. If he died intestate everything goes to your kids. The court will need to appoint an executor to the estate (costly but borne by the estate). If he was a good person you could talk to him and he could save the hassle by just writing a will.

However if you think having a chat will encourage him to divest himself of assets or name his father as beneficiary I’d just leave it until after he dies. Then get a solicitor to apply to the court to appoint an executor to ensure his estate is properly handled.

I appreciate that sounds cold but my concern would be for the financial well-being of my children both now and in the future.

He would say he loves his children but he doesn’t really. He sees them twice a month when my ex’s father will pick them up from mine, feed them and drop them off again, whilst my ex will maybe watch tv with them and take a few photos together to put on social media in order to pretend he’s a good father. He’s very bitter and vindictive and made my life hell for the first two years after I left him (five years ago).

thanks for all the replies. I’m relieved to hear that as we live in Scotland the children will be entitled to his estate. @Badbudgeter I think you’re right. I’m going to say nothing and deal with it when the time comes. I avoid all contact with him usually because it brings nothing but stress and drama.

Is it possible he could have already cashed his pension in? I think people who are terminally ill can do that.

He might have. I’ll just have to wait and see.

What usually happens is they can draw their lump sum & pension early. Any spouse or child entitlement is separate to that.