Birthday Pity Party 4 1

[PityParty41]

Shameless pity post as I'm feeling pretty miserable and down today.

It's my birthday. I'm 41.
My children (9 and 11) sort of remembered but have now gone out with their dad.
Not a single other person has remembered.
I'm not a social butterfly but do have some friends.
I'm nc with family.

Last year was exactly the same. Except nobody remembered. Including the kids and I spent the day crying. I promised I wouldn't do that again this year.

Money is ridiculously tight so I can't even treat myself to anything. I'll make the most of the peace and quiet of no kids but is it too much to want even just one person to acknowledge my existence?

I normally crack on with life but birthdays (and Christmas) always remind me how utterly alone and insignificant I am. I literally crave to be loved, to be wanted, to be seen.

Days like today make me seriously question the point of it all. Another year down with nothing to show for it. I'm lucky; my kids are brilliant (mostly) but I'm so empty and trapped with no way out.

So, anyone fancy joining my pity party 4 1? Just one day where we can say out loud that life is shit. And I, for one, cannot wait for the day I don't wake up and have to go through the motions.

Happy birthday ❤ I am so sorry you feel so lonely and I'm praying for something really good to happen for you today x

Sending hugs

Happy Birthday!
Sorry it's such a rubbish wet day too, doesn't help does it.

Happy birthday ❤

Happy birthday!

You are absolutely NOT insignificant. Things will get better 🙏🏼 I wonder whether you could spend more time investing in the friendships you have, to reduce that feeling of loneliness.

Try to get out and about a bit more (doesn't need to cost shutting) or get friends round to yours more.

Try to make the best of your day to relax and enjoy the peace and quiet, go out for a walk, read a book, watch a movie, go for a bath, whatever helps you to chill out.

Happy Birthday! 🥳🥂🎂

I'm so sorry you feel this way, I feel the same way a lot too, I don't have any family on my side only an aging mother who can't do anything as she suffers with arthritis, I have a sister with a lot of mental health problems who I'm NC with, I do have a lovely husband and 2 great kids, and about 2 friends who I see maybe every few months, I crave to be seen too but I'm never good enough,I'm always the second choice, life can be very shit, Happy Birthday and I hope life improves for you ❤️

With you on this x I know you say money is tight, is there anything you can do for yourself that is low cost or free? Watch your favourite movie, set up a YouTube playlist of favourite songs or ones that have meant something to you this year, make a microwave cake, go on a virtual Google maps tour of a place you've always wanted to visit, have a nice bubble bath? I always like to do a Tarot reading on my birthday for the year ahead but that's not everyone's cup of tea; I also like to set myself a handful of goals for the year ahead, this year I WILL write that romantic novel, learn to swim and finally do the Macarena properly!!

Sending you lots of good wishes, you are not insignificant but 41 is a bit of a watershed sort of age for lots of people xx
🎂🍰☕

Happy Birthday! I’m sorry it’s been a let down. Be like the queen - declare another birthday on some other date to have a better day.

Just to give you an idea maybe for next year,

when it’s my birthday i start mentioning it weeks in advance, and definitely chat about it with kids and DH during the week before. I plan a meal out (or takeaway) with them for the day. I buy myself a new book, bottle of wine and big box of chocolates because those are the things i love and i like knowing i have them to look forward to. I plan or buy a lovely outfit for the day. I often book it off work. I wake up the children by singing “happy birthday to me” mortifyingly loudly and mollify them by offering to make pancakes for breakfast. In short, i make it special all round and they join in because they KNOW it is special, but even if they didn’t I’d still be having a fab day.

does that sound like something that would work for you?

Thank you for all the well wishes, they made me tear up 💐

Just to clarify, I don't expect friends to remember. Everyone is busy with kids, life etc. but it would just be nice to matter enough to someone for them to maybe even just message a happy birthday. I think I'm also that friend that makes an effort but doesn't get the same in return. I think I'm probably invisible until someone needs something.

My relationship with my kids dad is difficult and fractious. It's a strictly co-parenting arrangement but we're unable to formally split for various reasons (which is very difficult to navigate in itself).

Kids have known for weeks my birthday was coming up, and whilst I tend to make a big effort for occasions, they take their dad's lead and do nothing. I'm hoping (and encouraging) this will change as they get older.

If I sound like a well worn doormat, it's probably because I am. Circumstances mean I have very little room for maneuver to try and improve things for me. My kids are happy so I'm trying to hold on to that until they're a bit older and I hopefully have more options, by which time I'll be too old to feel the benefits!

We have very few streaming services because of finances and I really struggle to focus or concentrate on tv/films etc. I generally spend any time I have on my own sat in silence! Baths, self care etc don't really hold any appeal for me.

Usually I paste a smile on and count every bedtime reached as another day done but birthdays are a reminder of just how unhappy I am, how quickly life is running away from me, how I genuinely haven't had a happy year in all of my 41 years. Life's a bitch.

Woe is me. I'll allow myself today to wallow and continue with the pretence tomorrow. Its so difficult though.

Happy birthday!🎂 Sorry you're having a rubbish day

To top off a pretty awful day, the kids dad had promised the kids a takeaway as a birthday treat...except I've had to pay for it because he's crap with money and wanted a takeaway, knowing full well he couldn't pay for it.

Paying for my own birthday kebab because of emotional blackmail via my kids...what an absolute disaster of shit show my life is.

Quite hoping tomorrow might be the day I don't wake up to endure another day of this 🙁