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Original poster

To feel so useless?

8 replies

Catlady38 · 04/08/2023 22:19

Have name changed for this…

On holiday on my own atm without DH or DC. They were booked to come with me but at the last minute, DC got a better offer (camping with friends) and DH had something come up at work, so I said, fine, I’d go alone. I’ve come here and am feeling rubbish about it. I’ve never been away on my own and I’ve ended up drinking and eating far too much (unhealthily so) and feeling lonely. It doesn’t help that the weather hasn’t been great. The thing is, I know lots of people would love a break like this — no one else to think about apart from myself — but it’s made me realise that I’m not very good on my own. And I’m now worrying (which I know is ridiculous) about what happens when my DC go to uni and my DH dies (he’s older than me). I know I’m being daft but I’ve spent so long not being on my own and now I just don’t know what to do when it’s just me. I have been on my own before, but I’d forgotten how much I struggle with it, I think. I mean, I don’t mind it when it’s on my terms, but I’m really finding it hard here. And when I say eating and drinking too much, I’m talking over a bottle of wine a night, proper binge eating — and making myself sick afterwards (which I haven’t done for years). I feel so stupid that I can’t even enjoy what should be a nice time to myself — nice area, nice hotel. I honestly didn’t mind DC & DH bailing but I could never tell any of them just how hard I’ve found it. Can’t tell anyone in real life either because I’m just too ashamed and embarrassed. I really hoped I’d have a lovely time, not resort to alcohol and bulimia (which I had as a teen). Anyone got any words of wisdom or advice? Please?

OP posts:
imisscashmere · 04/08/2023 22:24

Oh bless you, poor thing. Please go home if you’re having a miserable time. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I know I’d also be miserable on holiday by myself (without DH and DC).

YoSof · 04/08/2023 22:34

You’re not useless love.

You don’t have to stay, if you are not having a good time and it’s effecting your mental health then go home x

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 04/08/2023 22:42

Do the resort or holiday company run any day trips? If so sign up for one and get chatting to some of the other holiday makers.

It's been years since I did a resort holiday but the last few I did had things like Portuguese night where you went with a load of other people from the hotel to a mountain side restaurant, had bbq sardines and peri-peri spatchcocked chicken, drank sangria, watched traditional dancing and listened to folk music then got on a bus back to the hotel with a load of merry holidaymakers who'd snuck jugs of sangria out of the restaurant for the journey home.

Look to see what else there is in the area, things like local markets or tourist attractions and get out of your room and see the sights.

Summer2424 · 04/08/2023 22:52

Hi @Catlady38 sorry you're feeling like this xx
My advice would be live in the present moment, take this time to reflect on everything wonderful that has happened in your life, this break is a celebration of all that you have achieved. Only think positive thoughts for the future xx

Original poster
Catlady38 · 04/08/2023 23:00

imisscashmere · 04/08/2023 22:24

Oh bless you, poor thing. Please go home if you’re having a miserable time. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I know I’d also be miserable on holiday by myself (without DH and DC).

Ah, thank you, @imisscashmere. I’m going home on Sunday, so only one more day! X

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady38 · 04/08/2023 23:01

YoSof · 04/08/2023 22:34

You’re not useless love.

You don’t have to stay, if you are not having a good time and it’s effecting your mental health then go home x

Thank you, @YoSof. I go home on Sunday, so only one more day… x

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady38 · 04/08/2023 23:03

FatAgainItsLettuceTime · 04/08/2023 22:42

Do the resort or holiday company run any day trips? If so sign up for one and get chatting to some of the other holiday makers.

It's been years since I did a resort holiday but the last few I did had things like Portuguese night where you went with a load of other people from the hotel to a mountain side restaurant, had bbq sardines and peri-peri spatchcocked chicken, drank sangria, watched traditional dancing and listened to folk music then got on a bus back to the hotel with a load of merry holidaymakers who'd snuck jugs of sangria out of the restaurant for the journey home.

Look to see what else there is in the area, things like local markets or tourist attractions and get out of your room and see the sights.

This is a good idea, @FatAgainItsLettuceTime. I don’t think I need to be with DH or DC, but I do need company. This could be just the thing to take me out of myself a bit. X

OP posts:
Original poster
Catlady38 · 04/08/2023 23:04

Summer2424 · 04/08/2023 22:52

Hi @Catlady38 sorry you're feeling like this xx
My advice would be live in the present moment, take this time to reflect on everything wonderful that has happened in your life, this break is a celebration of all that you have achieved. Only think positive thoughts for the future xx

Thank you, @Summer2424. I don’t feel very positive atm but this is sound advice. X

OP posts:
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