Please help me with my sleep.

[WhatSleepisThere]

My sleep has gotten out of control.

I am getting to sleep OK but really struggling to stay asleep. A few nights a week i can go to sleep at 11 and then wake up at 3 and that will be me.

This pattern tends to emerge during periods of change or when my brain has a lot to mull over, but if I'm honest I've never been the best sleeper.

I've developed some reasonably unhealthy habits for coping with this. I'm not a big drinker but if I get frustrated enough I will have a glass of wine which tends to relax me and get me over to sleep. I've also found taking an antihistamine helpful. I don't want to become reliant on either of those things, I know they aren't healthy in the longterm and actually leave me feeling groggy during the day.

I have already tried,, and continue to try getting out of bed and having a camomile tea, but it doesn't work.

If you have had similar issues what worked for you?

I've ordered some magnesium and valerian root tablets to try.

I had this pattern of sleep start in the perimenopause with the 3am wake ups. I find eating foods high in tryptophan in the evening helps keep me asleep also kiwis help with increasing my deep sleep. I also find low carb makes my sleep worse so I have some carb now for my dinner.

When I wake I try now not to look at my phone or open my eyes but do some breathing exercises I learnt using the breathe app which help me to go back to sleep.

I tried magnesium and it didn't help me but I think some people find the glyconate version helpful.

This is a classic stress pattern of sleep disturbance.

Closing the stress cycle at the end of the day is really important. Do something physical like put on a song you love and dance or do a hobby that gets you into flow.

A wonderful psychiatrist I know who is a sleep expert in mental health says “we have to earn good sleep in the day”. So he advocates for morning light (going outside for 5 minutes) and then 5 to 10 minutes per hour of natural light throughout the day to fix your circadian rhythm and making sure you practice good sleep hygiene. That can mean just cracking a window open.

After 15 years of chronic insomnia, I am now sleeping solidly for over 6 hours a night. I signed up to re:sleep. Its online. I'm not sponsored by them, but I could not recommend them more highly. Whilst it is simple to follow, it is also quite hardwork and I have felt soooo tired in the day. However, this is now subsiding. Wish I had found it earlier.

Firstly check out peri Menopause and get hrt

Get a notepad and pen by your bed to write down all the circulating thoughts to look at during the day

I'd have a proper cup of tea and I tend to fall asleep on the sofa while drinking it

This sounds daft but I was a terrible sleeper ( much better now despite the above !) and mam always said "it doesn't matter if you are not actually asleep if you are properly resting " - I think it just stops worrying about lack of sleep adding to the worries

Oh and I second the pp about exercise especially outside ( I do that without thinking about it )

Those advocating outside exercise - is there a best time of day to exercise?

And tell yourself a story to drown out the noise - really familiar one like pride and prejudice

Exercise - possibly but I am limited by work to a short walk on the morning and then something early evening

I think morning is the best time for both daylight and exercise.

it could be hormones or stress ( or both) waking you up at 3am. If you find yourself thinking over the same topics, the actual thinking and rethinking may be keeping you awake. Try reading or listening to a dull podcast to break the cycle.

Look up how to reduce cortisol. See how you go.

One thing I forgot to mention is that expecting 8 hrs uninterrupted sleep is probably unnatural

Historically 2 distinct sleeps was more normal than one - so have an hour reading , it's natural not wrong

Just because you wake up isn't a problem in itself - it's your response that makes it so

Thanks for all the tips. I will take them all on board.

Re perimenopause, I am 34, so....too young? Or maybe not?

Would be unusual young - unless your mother had very early menopause