How often are your primary age/pre teens seeing friends over the holidays?

[Tacocatgoatcheesepizza]

We have barely any plans with friends. Everyone seems to be away or busy or working. My dc are 8 and 11, eldest does not yet make independent plans and we live a few miles from most of his friends.

They saw friends last weekend, again tomorrow but only for an hour or so and my youngest has a friend over all day on Friday. We have no other plans with their friends although hopefully we’ll manage another couple of activities over the course of the summer. They get fed up of each others company and end up fighting a lot. They are so much nicer when there is someone else around.

Are we unusual or is it fairly common to mostly spend time just as a family over the holidays? ( I only work termtime so they’re not in clubs or anything either)

It’s very similar here - 8 and 10. The odd playdate but not a lot. People are away or in holiday clubs.

I had signed them up for a club today but it got rained off 🤦‍♀️

About once a week (plus two days a week at a camp) for the 5yo. Just for a few hours though not the whole day.

I would expect it to be a bit more for older primary kids. I think they're more entertained by their friends than you at that age.

I was just thinking about this today. DD would be in her school mates pockets all holiday if I let her but I’m all up for her developing in herself this holiday too and seeing family/other friends.

She’s had a couple of meets up, one sleepover right at the end of term. We’ll see a friend before we go away and a couple of times when back, that’s it.

Almost never…except at cricket…but we’ve been away for a couple of weeks and by the time we’re back and they’ve seen both sets of grandparents, played a dozen or so cricket matches and been to half a dozen more there aren’t that many spare days.

They also haven’t asked…if they did we’d make more effort!

I find this really difficult. I'm autistic, DS2 (8) is awaiting assessment for autism, DS1 (13) is at least theoretically NT. I have my own circle of friends, but those mummy friends everyone talks about? Never happened for us.

DS2 moved school a year ago and, although he seems to play happily with friends at school and Cubs, any requests for playdates so far this summer have been ignored by the other parents.

I remember it being quite like this with DS1- he now has a tight group of friends he has made at secondary, whom he sometimes meets up with out of school, but most of them live on the other side of the catchment area (we're rural), his best mate is away for 4 weeks, and he doesn't seem to have made any arrangements with any of his other friends.

The result is that we're constantly thrown on each other's company, the kids bicker and fight loads, and it all feels really unhealthy. I feel so sad for DS2 in particular, and just don't know what to do 😪

My kids are a similar age (7 & 11). I am a teacher so make an effort to have friends over in the holidays as can’t easily do it after school. So far, last week DS 11 dud rugby camp and had 2 friends over after and went to one of their houses another day. DD 7 also went for a play date. This week DD 7 has had one friend over for a day and DS has had a friend at the same time, we’ll meet friends for a coffee tomorrow & also they’ll see a friend at the weekend. It is trickier with camps and people being away though.

We managed to meet up with another lot of friends today and have made a plan to meet up next week as well which has made me feel better!