Please join me in talking about finding holidays difficult!

[losenotloose]

I know lots of people love holidays and travelling, and I really want to as well. But I find them difficult! Possibly made worse by being with two teenagers who would rather be at home.

Things I find difficult:

Filling the time. Even with some planned activities we can't be busy all day everyday.

The pressure for everyone to be having a good time. I feel responsible and therefore with two teenagers who moan I end up feeling anxious and guilty.

It seems to bring out all the worst parts of my personality (insecure, low self esteem, inferior etc).

I miss home! Just the routine and familiarity.

Please help me feel better by telling me why you find holidays difficult! And please no, "just don't go then" as I do enjoy aspects and want to experience other countries.

It’s a big decision and a lot of money to not enjoy yourself and have moaning teenagers!
maybe do more shorter breaks rather than one big holiday. A couple of nights in a city break will have plenty to keep you occupied or split bases so you can have a mix of activities and chill out time. If the teenagers moan then they need to help with the planning!

They didn't want to go on holiday at all so I tried to come up with something they would enjoy. I honestly don't think the location matters, they just want to be at home with their friends. However, we haven't been on a holiday for 4 years and they are too young to leave alone

I find them difficult too. I'm a single parent with teenagers and I find myself in the position of being a tour guide amd cheerleader to a squad of really critical clients.

Left to themselves they probably wouldn't really want to bother organising anything. Asking for suggestions and i just get "whatever".

I've found AI a bit easier as there is no organising food. Eating out when not all inclusive is just more hard work for me - choosing somewhere everyone will like, rounding everyone up to get to the restaurant on time etc. With AI they can just go and grab whatever they want and there are no set dining times. This is an expensive option however.

I do spend a lot of time feeling anxious on holiday, which is the opposite to what you expect to feel. I am not good in unfamiliar places and with a lack of routine, even when travelling without children. I also don't enjoy travelling with friends, especially if I have to share a room.

Oh yes. Constant anxiety bubbling under the surface, anxiety about travelling, not able to relax. I always feel like I just want to get it over with :) But I am autistic, and have two autistic teens who don’t cope with heat / change in routine / long periods of enforced rest too well… so we do overnights and day trips in the UK instead.

Me.

I especially relate to feeling awful about myself on holiday, I feel incompetent and anxious and low generally.

But I also need holidays and want them.

I have no idea what the answer is

Maybe to go away without the kids? Or learn not to care if they aren't happy?

Do you want to go on holiday yourself? On the one hand you mention you haven't been on one for years as if that's a reason to go, but on the other say it brings out the worst etc.

If that is all being driven but the presence of children who don't want to be there:

1. Wait until they are old enough to leave them. Keep saving and then go on a flipping amazing holiday without them

Or 2. Any friends willing to have them stay so you could go for even a long weekend without them? You could offer to reciprocate.

It's hard work, on holiday now and want to go home. Kids have been extremely hard work. DH is a grumpy git and we are haemorrhaging money. It's daylight robbery everywhere you go.