Does autism get better?

[Woodstocks]

Hi everyone,

I recently moved next door to a mother with her ten year old autistic son. The walls are extremely thin and we hear him a lot. He screams and shouts, abuses his mother verbally and physically (I once had to call the police). He also frequently wakes in the night and shouts, bangs walls etc which wakes us up.

What to expect in the future? Do autistic children eventually “grow out” of violence? He is only getting stronger and will seriously injure his mother at some stage. Will he at some stage sleep through the night?

I know people aren’t the same and it is hard to predict but what normally happens when autistic kids grow up? I do worry for the mum as we frequently hear her scream in pain.

Hi OP, have you chatted to the mum about it? Is she on her own? Have you got a friendly relationship with her?
Like others have said, it’s all very hard to predict because everyone is so different. My brother was extremely aggressive towards us all throughout until he got sectioned in his late 20s and put on meds. My own son is 7 and violent but it comes and goes and I don’t feel like he has got any worse. But who knows what the future holds?

Can you chat to DM in a supportive way and ask what support she gets and if there is anything you can do to help. Explain why you called the police etc out of genuine care for her

To be fair to OP I think she has had little exposure to ASD. Of course that statement is inappropriate but I don’t think she meant it with malice

My daughters got worse despite everyone saying she would get easier!

Neurodevelopmental team here did say in post diagnosis training that it does get better in that the kid eventually has more ability to regulate their own emotions, has more understanding of their autism and can take action to avoid triggers for meltdown. They are still going to be autistic. There will still be meltdowns but often quieter, shorter, less violent but depends on stress levels.

Can I just say that I didn’t ask if “autism goes away”. I asked if it gets better.

Moving is not an option because of the cost involved- I guess everybody knows that themselves that it’s not reasonable to throw tens of thousands of pounds at stamp duty etc. hence my question of what should I expect. I didn’t say that they should tape his mouth shut as some nasty poster up thread pretended I said. I simply asked what to expect living next to somebody who is clearly very troubled and causes great distress to people around him. People are very quick to take offence but how am I supposed to know ?

Is reading comprehension something that you struggle with? OP never suggested it goes away. She is allowed to ask a question and to be fair most posters have answered her in a helpful, informative way. If people have no experience of something then how are they expected to gain knowledge if people like you come along and jump down their throats with accusations that are completely made up.
Maybe you should go back and read the OP posts again along with some of the decent helpful replies before you embarrass yourself further.

Oh hello, Goady McGoadFace 👋🏽

My daughter was diagnosed at 8. At 10 her behaviour was at it’s most challenging due to increased demand (social and academic) at school and hormones. She has settled down enormously and is much better at regulating her emotions.

Maybe I have learning difficulties and you are a massive judgemental nasty c u next Tuesday like the op.

Maybe I was just fuming and absolutely blown away by what she said and was angry typing

Maybe I've got fat thumbs

Maybe you should get to f**k too!

Plenty of places to find out such information. When my son was diagnosed I did not ask mums net will it get better I done some research. Actually researched long before a diagnosis.

Never been so ignorant to ask does it get better though ffs.

There was better ways of putting it. Shall we all pack our kids up and move to an autism island?? So all the neurotypical small minded parents can lice in peace

Go and knock at the poor woman's house. Get to know her! Without you asking she may well tell you about her son.

The title to this thread is a punch in the gut. Yes it's not nice to hear but kmagine living kn it. I know you should be at peace in your own home and feel like you are living it but believe me you have no idea (very clearly) ask away by all means but please be sensitive. Being a sen mum is the most lonely place I've ever been. I'm not short of friends or other children, husband, mum, dad, brothers sisters parents in law I am never ever on my own but it's stoll lonely because both people who love my chold and people who don't know him judge him, judge his autism, believe he's naughty, believe he will grow out of it. There is thousands of websites that will help you and so will mums net but remember real people are reading it.

Whilst that mothers is being abused by her son particularly late at night, I can guarantee she's not worried for herself, she's worried if he woken you or your family without a doubt that and hoping he doesn't hurt himself instead of her are her two first concerns.

My son grew out of the violence. At 10 he was very much like your neighbours son. By 14 it had pretty much stopped. At 25 he's still autistic, but has a degree and good job and lives a nice life.
I don't know if you've spoken to mum, your post does come across as a noisy neighbour complain, rather than concern. But I bet she could do with a cuppa and a chat.