Is it normal to feel like this before you're 30?

[jamrolypolyandcustard]

I'm not sure if I'm just being silly but I'm approaching 30 (April)

I can't help but feel like I've let myself down with so much stuff that I haven't done. I have a gorgeous DS who's thriving in school and is an absolute dream, a wonderful DP and we have a fantastic relationship, studying to be a nurse (stressful in itself) and supportive family and friends. I can't help but feel sad to be saying goodbye to my 20's.

I don't want to be fat and thirty either.. Heaviest I've ever been and I think this is adding too this feeling. I could list so much im unhappy with, I feel frumpy due to my weight which I keep thinking oh gosh can I still wear this when im 30? 🥲 I practically live in dresses with trainers/sandals in summer or tights and boots in winter just a FYI.

Any advice on how to look at this more positively and accepting turning 30?

That should say I'm turning 30 in April 2024

I feel like this sometimes but I try to remind myself how lucky I am to have reached 30. Morbid but thinking of people I knew when I was younger and have now passed snaps me out of any longing self pity.

Also letting go of what I used to look like in my late teens and early 20s helped. I'm never gonna be a size 8 ever again! And that's OK because I grew my son and you never look quite the same after do you.

You've achieved lots. I think it's an unfortunate truth of life that most people don't get to achieve all of their dreams, most of the time. But you've still got lots of time to do something if you really wanted to.

@honeybunny8
I felt like this in my early 30s too. I hadn't realised it, but I was keeping a sort of mental timeline in my head and was missing milestones on it. My mum started having kids at 29 so I somehow thought I should too, and I was stuck in a difficult job I hated and was unsuited for, in a sector with few opportunities to change job, and didn't realise how much it was sapping my confidence - I felt like I couldn't do stuff even in my downtime. I wasn't motivated to wear nice clothes to the job and felt frumpy and scruffy. My hair also started to grey around then, and I've never enjoyed messing with my appearance. My husband was intermittently ill with a chronic condition and I wasn't sure he would ever be well enough for us to have kids. I felt like I never had time to socialise and nobody apart from my husband and family would miss me if I died.

The answer was getting out of the job. I did this by having babies, but that's not the only way that would have worked. Honestly, first day of mat leave I felt SO MUCH BETTER and back to my old self almost immediately. I then had a very busy few years and even a few months of PND with my second child (still not as bad as that job) but I then returned to work in a much nicer job, built in some time for myself, and have never really felt so bad again. I'm now just as busy (more so with two kids) and do some similar things in my job but my mindset is better!

I do think you should get a facial if you fancy that. I mostly don't mind my greys but if you do, rock the dye. But sure, get your general health checked, and look at your lifestyle and see if something is insidiously sapping your energy. And whether you actually want what you think you "should" want. Do you want kids? Are you oppressed by a mother or MIL asking when you'll get on with it but actually you don't want them? Have you always wanted to do (pottery, furniture restoration, Glastonbury) and something's holding you back?

I hope you can re-find your sparkle. It might well be as simple as getting a facial and booking a holiday to look forward to, and then gradually building in more things that feed your spirit. Good luck.

I'm 36 and it feels like yesterday I was 27/28. After turning 30 the years just seemed to fly by for me. A family member died unexpectedly just before she turned 30 so I feel lucky to still be here, still developing and changing. I do feel I lost some sparkle that I had in my 20s, but life changes as you go through each stage and so do your priorities. But your weight is something physical you can work on if you want to.

Listen, I'm old enough to be your mum, and I would be so proud of what you've achieved if you were my daughter! I have several of about your age and I know how tough it can all be nowadays. (Well has been always, but getting it together, feeling like you have to be an adult and realising, well, all the things) tends to happen as you approach your 30s)
I think we all tend to fret a little as we aporoach decade birthdays.
Life is so much better than it's ever been in many ways, but there are different challenges now.
I suspect you are a pretty fabulous human being just having a bit of a wobble.
Congratulations on your nurse training and all the best with it!

Ps you said you have supportive friends and family so maybe go and see your mum for a rl hugs.
I'm nearly twice your age and still doing things I haven't done before xx