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Original poster

WTF ADHD assessment

38 replies

pastatriangles · 02/08/2023 10:41

I just had an ADHD video assessment and am a bit freaked out.

It started off normally and I was talking about typical disorganisation and forgetfulness. I had my 6mo baby on my lap and the doctor suddenly cuts in and says, 'Can you attend to your baby. She's distressed and it's making me very distressed watching it.'

She had spit up a small bit on her chin but hadn't cried and was perfectly fine. I cleaned it off and the doctor told me to feed her and that she was hungry. I explained I had just given her a bottle before the appointment. She wasn't crying, wiggling or anything, just sat calmly on my lap.

Doctor then said she was worried baby wasn't safe and whether I had SS involvement. I assured her my baby was absolutely safe and had never had involvement.

At the end of the session she said 'I have decided to give you the ADHD diagnosis but I think we can agree there is more than just that going on here. I've booked another appointment to discuss next steps for more support.'

I was too confused/shocked to ask what she meant, plus she seemed like she had quite an odd attitude, like she was enjoying telling me this, so I just wanted to get off the call.

I'm really confused and freaked out now. Is she calling SS on me? I said nothing that would allude to child endangerment, just stuff like disorganisation at work and school. I take baby to play group almost every day, she's happy and fed, and we see family often. Have no idea what's going on.

OP posts:
Orangesandlemons82 · 02/08/2023 10:45

Was it a private assessment or NHS?

Original poster
pastatriangles · 02/08/2023 10:50

Private org but they take NHS patients (I'm NHS)

OP posts:
LouisaPeanut · 02/08/2023 10:51

Well that’s all a bit odd. I’m sorry, you must be really shaken up! I have no idea about the specifics but just to reassure you if the doc has called SS…. Someone from 111 called SS about me after I called with PND desperate for help. SS called me a little while later and asked some questions but the lady was quickly happy that there weren’t any concerns. She said their job is to support parents looking after their children, and she said although it was clear I had some mental health issues (perinatal mental health already involved), there was nothing that suggested I wasn’t able to look after the kids. Case closed.

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JaukiVexnoydi · 02/08/2023 10:53

I can't say I know what's going on either but I think the doctor was right to conclude that you might need more support than you are currently getting. Operative word "might" - the doctor knew that they weren't in any position to know the bigger picture from what they could see during a video assessment but saw enough potential alarm bells that it's appropriate for them to flag up that further assessment might be appropriate. Don't panic. You love your baby and your baby is safe and happy and well cared for. Social Services aren't going to swoop in and judge you as an unfit parent. However, they can help you to access more services to make things easier for you. For a start, you are clearly dealing with all this with very little support as it would be very unusual to not be able to ask anyone to care for your baby for a couple of hours so you could have this really important ADHD assessment without having to multitask that with simultaneous babycare. Just the very thought of trying to do that would ring one alarm bell and I don't know what others there might have been. But the point is that this isn't a judgement on you, it's the system for picking up on the fact that someone needs more support, and intervening to offer that support before things get unmanageable.

Orangesandlemons82 · 02/08/2023 10:54

I thought it might be an unscrupulous company looking to make money from future appointments but the whole thing sounds a bit odd! Easier said than done, but I wouldn't worry if they do contact SS. It sounds like they would be able to close the case straight away, if they do even contact you. Can you request follow up with someone else?

Original poster
pastatriangles · 02/08/2023 10:56

For a start, you are clearly dealing with all this with very little support as it would be very unusual to not be able to ask anyone to care for your baby for a couple of hours so you could have this really important ADHD assessment without having to multitask that with simultaneous babycare.

I would have been able to arrange childcare if I had had to go in, but it was a video call from home so I thought it would be fine to just have her sat on my lap.

OP posts:
fireflyloo · 02/08/2023 11:05

@pastatriangles I carry out video assessments and I make it clear that it should be treated like a face to face where confidentiality can be maintained and children should not attend as they can be distracting and may need attending to which cuts into the assessment slot. I think you should've checked beforehand.

With regards to their concerns, it is hard to say based on what you said.

stbrandonsboat · 02/08/2023 11:10

Perhaps there was something going on with the baby, but some clinicians can be very odd, particularly psychiatrists. Some clinicians also use their position to bully vulnerable patients.

I doubt social services will be interested.

Dreamersdontdie · 02/08/2023 11:11

Why the hell would they assess someone so soon after having a baby? That's not going to give you an accurate diagnosis, due to hormonal balance and sleep deprivation. I wouldn't trust the clinician based on that alone.

StopStartStop · 02/08/2023 11:17

Stay calm and accept the help. Most of us can't get any!

WonderingWanda · 02/08/2023 11:26

Try not to panic op. It does sound rather odd, maybe she hasn't had a baby herself and has no clue. Another poster talked about how you should have arranged childcare and maybe she was upitty about that. I certainly went to medical appointments with my baby when I was on maternity leave. It didn't mean I was coping alone it just meant my dh was at work and it seemed bonkers to ask my Mum to travel a few hundred miles to babysit.

WalnutBlue · 02/08/2023 11:39

I think most of us sane people know a short video assessment isn't the most reliable method of diagnosis, especially after having a baby.
My baby was colicky and constantly screaming and sicking up lol.
Sounds like she was on a power trip.

Nanna50 · 02/08/2023 14:46

Is there a background or were you diagnosed on a video assessment?
Did you pay or did the NHS?

I have found that recently less NHS / LA / Schools are accepting these private diagnosis when it comes to offering treatment. (In my line of work)

From what you describe the interview doesn't sound very professional. Can you speak to the person who referred you about your concerns?

Original poster
pastatriangles · 02/08/2023 15:55

@Nanna50 I was diagnosed on the call. Referred from my GP. Reluctant to ask for a re-referral as it's such a long waiting list and I've been waiting ages.

It just made me feel like a shit mum and a failure tbh. Really down. All I've ever had is people reassuring me that being messy/disorganised doesn't make me a bad person or parent and then when I was actually trying to be really honest about my difficulties I feel like it's been thrown back in my face. (And honestly to reiterate nothing child endangering, just stupid mistakes, messy house kind of thing).

OP posts:
HairyKitty · 02/08/2023 16:01

@pastatriangles of course it wouldn’t be fine to have the baby jiggling on your lap during a fairly long, serious diagnostic appointment where you responses and crucial to making a correct diagnosis.
Maybe the fact that you didn’t realise this is what bothered the clinician?

fireflyloo · 02/08/2023 16:42

How long was the appt? It takes me a minimum of 1.5 hours (usually 2 for an adult) to carry out a neurodevelopment assessment.

So yes taking a baby to a 10-15 minute medical appt is fine but not for a neuro history. If it didn't take this long then it wasn't done right.

User3735 · 02/08/2023 16:53

I'm glad to see people are suspicious of these Right to Chose psychiatrists where people are diagnosed via a video call. They are usually Psychiatry UK or ADHD 360. I personally have a private diagnosis where I saw a real life psychiatrist and ADHD nurses and had a QB test, but I have been on the NHS waiting list for 8 years, and it just keeps getting longer because all the resources are going to fund people jumping the queue with Psychiatry UK assesments.

User3735 · 02/08/2023 16:55

But her comments do sound odd. I'd never have a baby around for a psychiatry assesment though, I agree maybe that was her issue, but if that was the case she should have said.

Dinopawus · 02/08/2023 17:08

Were you told how long the appointment would be and that you should attend alone?

I think it was poor judgement to have your child there, but it sounds like you meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD and I doubt it will be the first time the clinician will have met someone who has made a daft choice, so don't be too hard on yourself.

I would however suggest that you engage with the early intervention team from SS if you are offered help. It's about helping you to help your little one.

YarisKaris · 02/08/2023 17:09

Nanna50 · 02/08/2023 14:46

Is there a background or were you diagnosed on a video assessment?
Did you pay or did the NHS?

I have found that recently less NHS / LA / Schools are accepting these private diagnosis when it comes to offering treatment. (In my line of work)

From what you describe the interview doesn't sound very professional. Can you speak to the person who referred you about your concerns?

Yet is often the nhs who are using them, then refusing to accept their diagnosis. I don't understand why they use them if they don't think theyre doing appropriate assessments. It's bizarre. However if an assessment meets nice guidelines there really shouldn't be any question over its validity.

Sometimeswinning · 02/08/2023 17:15

The NHS may use them but unfortunately it doesn't make them any good. That maybe the reason for pushing you to schedule another appointment.

timeafterdime · 02/08/2023 17:23

Not exactly the same but I'm a psychotherapist and would - and have (once)- reschedule a session with someone who turned up with an infant/toddler to session.

It's a completely inappropriate environment, it isn't confidential and could potentially be upsetting for the baby. When I was screened for ADHD I had to disclose my trauma history, that was ok for me to do but for others it might be very distressing and upsetting and then the child has to cope with a distressed parent in what should be a confidential setting.

I think the clinician should have refused to see you with the baby there and agree that the rest of it sounds like a bit of a power trip. Social Services will not be remotely interested in this from a child protection angle, I can assure you. Perhaps the clinician wants to refer you for Early Help but that is voluntary and should be agreed with you.

Original poster
pastatriangles · 02/08/2023 17:24

Sometimeswinning · 02/08/2023 17:15

The NHS may use them but unfortunately it doesn't make them any good. That maybe the reason for pushing you to schedule another appointment.

Do you mean they'd want to schedule another appointment to get more £ from the NHS?

OP posts:
timeafterdime · 02/08/2023 17:24

YarisKaris · 02/08/2023 17:09

Yet is often the nhs who are using them, then refusing to accept their diagnosis. I don't understand why they use them if they don't think theyre doing appropriate assessments. It's bizarre. However if an assessment meets nice guidelines there really shouldn't be any question over its validity.

Show quote history

The NHS don't reject the diagnosis if it's a shared care arrangement.

h3ll0o · 02/08/2023 17:36

If the clinician needed you to attend the appointment alone they should have made it clear. I don’t have reliable childcare so had to take my daughter to the appointment, it was fine and I didn’t receive any negative comments.

Having worked in disability services for over ten years in that time I’ve had many a toxic colleague and most of the time they’ve treated service users appallingly as they mistakenly think it hides their own neurodiversity.

Do you need to attend the follow on appointment or can you politely decline?