Expectations versus reality, yet another thread.

[Beeinalily]

It's another rainy day, I'm going to air my misery. Anyone care to join me? So far this year:-
Diet expectation :- a sleek and svelte me, able to wear clothes I got too large for years ago but couldn't bear to part with.
Diet reality :- 6lbs less, just as fat, and my waist size HAS GONE UP for goodness sake.

New specs expectation :- pretty rose gold frames leading to more feminine but businesslike appearance.
New specs reality :- Dame Edna tribute act.

New haircut expectation :- nice flattering layers, swept back light fringe.
New haircut reality:- a busby, with a fringe long enough to poke me in the eye every time I move my head.

And you?

Expectation :- some sympathy, similar experiences and perhaps a bit of a laugh.
Reality :- Fuck all. Oh well. 😢

Expectation

Picking up your brand new, top of the range (insert generic German sport hatch), driving away from the dealership in the late evening sun, roof down (electric of course) music up, enjoying the comfort of all that new leather and paint. Taking the "long" road home, so you can cruise down along the coast, watching the sun set over the water.

Reality

It's pissing down with rain, you remember nothing from the handover, the infotainment system needs a fucking PHD to figure out, so no music. The roads are gridlocked because of an accident, and the stupid bloody car won't stop beeping, buzzing, and fucking vibrating at you.

I don't need to know there's a car on my left! I have fucking mirrors!

I know I need petrol, there's a fucking fuel gauge!

I know what the speed limit is, I can fucking read!

I know the car in front has moved off, I can fuckin see it!

It is a nice colour though.

Similar with the diet expectation - looking good swishing around in size 10's, enjoying the summer in flowy dresses.

Reality - running around in size 12/14 jeans in dreary wet weather.

Downtime expectation - reading a book or baking some treats for the freezer, getting some decluttering and cleaning done

Reality - on the sofa on my phone

Expectation: sitting in the kitchen with a cup of tea while your young adult children dash in for toast, kissing you on the way to their summer job, asking, 'can I bring Sam home for dinner?'
Reality: cleaning up the kitchen mess of a midnight feast of nachos and (your) liquor while young adult children snore in their fetid rooms after being up all night conversing with unknown randoms on gaming sites...

Expectation: making a lovely wholesome chicken curry. Feeling smug that I have become a culinary queen and no need to waste money on the weekend Indian takeaway.
Reality: there is a watery sauce with bits of chicken in. My kitchen looks like a bombsite. I've given myself heartburn with two mouthfuls and my flat stinks of all things spice. O and my hands are stained orange.

I bought this dress (in forest green) from Boden hoping that it would make me look, if not as slim as the model, then reasonably smart and well turned out.

Reality: Aunt Lydia.

Expectation: doing some writing this afternoon after getting a few bits sorted ready for a g and t at 5pm.

reality: I forgot I was having the kids this afternoon so nothing gets done, lots of mess, but I will still have the g and t . Now maybe.

@onefinemess that really made me laugh. We recently got a shiny new German computer on wheels. I feel the pain 🤣

@Beeinalily sending much sympathy and apologies for our tardy replies.

Expectation: builders will turn up at the specified time and repair the problem, clear up and leave
Reality: We are stuck at home waiting for builders to turn up, they have every excuse in the book, from I got pulled over by the police because my headlamp wasn't working to I broke my ribs... they turn up, break something that was unrelated to the job, do not fix what they are supposed to repair properly or fix the problem they created, moan, leave the garden full of rubbish and fag butts, leave the loo unflushed, steal food and we are several thousands pounds poorer. 😩

Expectation: using the summer holidays to relax and have some quality family time we haven’t had during the academic year.

Reality: Younger DD with ASD stuck to me like glue because of her anxiety. Dealing with her frequent meltdowns and trying to get CAMHS to bloody do something. Teen DD either in her bedroom or out with friends.

Expectation: would have lost the 2 stone I’d put on due to stress eating over the winter. Would be wafting about flashing tanned, toned legs in nice shorts.

Reality: still fat and wearing a horrible, unflattering pair or skinny jeans because they’re the only things that fit. Legs look like dimpled sausages. Only upside is that it’s too cold for shorts anyway.

Expectation: Would use the summer break to get my fitness back on track - doing C25K again and going to the gym.

Reality: DD is too anxious to go for a run with me or to accompany me the gym. She is also too anxious to be left home while I go out. So I am trying to get fit by doing YouTube videos in my living room.

Expectation: The kids will have a bath, I'll knock up a quick supper like Nigella, everyone will love it, say I'm fabulous and offer to clear up while I read my book and relax.
Reality: I cook Nigella meal while they run riot upstairs avoid the bath, the meal takes longer than expected, set the table, serve the food, kids arrive, complain it isn't too their liking, vanish the second I suggest they help clean up, I clean up, sit down to read my book and the kids are hungry and asking me to make cheese sandwiches and invite their friends over for a playdate. Storm off slam doors and sulk

@WinterWillReturn Sounds like my life. God I hate the summer holidays

Today's expectation - to empty and reorganise the freezer; meal plan including batch cooking; make a shopping list.

Today's reality - sitting on the sofa watching Stranger Things with my daughter as we speak. I don't even like Stranger Things.

Expectation: given the rubbish weather I will use the school holidays to tidy and clean the house so that it is no longer an embarrassment.

Reality: it's still a mess, I'm constantly distracted and I'm frittering away the time on nothing. Oh look, a squirrel.

@SuperGinger Massive sympathy. It’s a bit shit isn’t it?

Standard! 😂

I'd look like aunt Sally in that 😂

Expectation: I’ll spend a lovely, sunny, summer in the UK with my toddler and 3 year old (we live abroad). We’ll go for nature walks, spend days at the beach, and lots of nice days at animal sanctuaries or farms. There will be lovely family bonding.

Reality: Dealing with a feral toddler and grumpy 3 year old in the rain. No matter which one I put a coat and boots on first they take it off whilst I’m trying to wrangle the other one into their waterproofs. Oldest child hates getting sand on himself. Youngest one hates been restrained and loves to run incredibly fast at danger. Both have decided that they don’t nap anymore. The youngest has discovered the words ‘no way’. I’m on my own with them both because my husband is back home working. Not sure our bond has been improved (maybe in a Stockholm Syndrome kind of way 🤷🏽‍♀️).

Expectation: have coil fitted, maybe some pain (even bad pain!) for 48 hours, then I get to stop taking the pill, hopefully not have any periods and therefore no horrendous endometriosis-caused period pain, don't have to change anything until 5 years or we want kids, whichever comes first.

Reality: horrible pain for 12 hours, then on off back pain still days later. Still taking pill (knew this in advance admittedly) for a 7 day crossover period. Somehow getting spotting through both. Had sex and had to stop because it was painful for partner so I now have to go back less than a week after insertion for them to probably fiddle with it (I know it's probably the strings, still involves stripping half naked again and being prodded again).

Nothing disastrous but was just so naively hopeful it would go in and be great!

Expectation: work will be reasonably quiet in August due to many people taking holidays and some key decisions being scheduled for September that we are waiting in to move some projects on
Reality: every fucker in the org wants to get all the work done for the rest of the year in the first week of august
Expectation: Bought a naice cerise dress for the autumn to wear into the office, looking professional and cheery in the grey dreary weather
Reality: Hattie Jacques is in the building

Expectation: 2 week holiday to beautiful destination will result in refreshment and rejuvenation.

Reality: Combination of 4 hours breathing literal Ryanair and return to UK temperature of 14 degrees results in catching virus. Am more exhausted and pasty than ever thought possible.

Expectation: 2 weeks holiday in our caravan with DH and Ddog will leave me rejuvenated and relaxed.

Reality: all the planning, packing, getting us there ( towing) , a crap satnav, a tyre blowout and near miss on motorway left me stressed, bad tempered and resentful and jealous of those who go away properly for exotic holidays!

@AnxiousShep please don't apologise, I was having a "poor little me" moment!

I'm with you on the haircut!
Every time -
Expectation: Frankie Bridge
Reality: Howard Wolowitz