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Very needy friend-need to have a temporary break

7 replies

Iwonder08 · 01/08/2023 18:54

I have a newish friend who is currently divorcing an abusive man. She moved to this country for him and doesn't really have any support locally. I have been trying to help her in every way possible for the last 9 months or so. It involves daily communication, calls,texts.. It is overwhelming but if feel she has no one else to go to and if I don't help she will have a breakdown. She has a lawyer and a supportive sister in another country but only me here.
My problem is I feel overwhelmed with my own things I need to manage very stressful job etc. I am due to go on holiday soon and I feel her constant communication won't let me relax and I really need it.
I would appreciate any advice on how can I ask her to stop talking to me for 2 weeks without offending her deeply and not making her feel bad? I can continue supporting her after I am back but definitely prefer a significant reduction volume...

OP posts:
FirstDayOfHoliyays · 01/08/2023 19:02

"Hope you manage to have a relatively calm 2 weeks while I'm off grid Claire. I'll be thinking of you, see you when I get back x"

CharlotteStreetW1 · 01/08/2023 19:05

Just say you'll be having a phone detox while you're away (I just came back from somewhere with intermittent signal - it was bliss!).

Hopefully it will break the habit for her too.

AllSewnUp · 01/08/2023 19:06

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 01/08/2023 19:02

"Hope you manage to have a relatively calm 2 weeks while I'm off grid Claire. I'll be thinking of you, see you when I get back x"

This is perfect.

mariiiajane · 01/08/2023 19:07

Tell you you are having a break from messages while you are away.

You don't have to say specifically her, just tell her you have been overwhelmed at work/family stuff and tv and need a breather so you will be disabling certain apps while you are away to ensure you can relax.

tattygrl · 01/08/2023 19:08

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 01/08/2023 19:02

"Hope you manage to have a relatively calm 2 weeks while I'm off grid Claire. I'll be thinking of you, see you when I get back x"

This is the one

HappyJoyousFree · 01/08/2023 19:10

FirstDayOfHoliyays · 01/08/2023 19:02

"Hope you manage to have a relatively calm 2 weeks while I'm off grid Claire. I'll be thinking of you, see you when I get back x"

Agree with this

Also can you suggest some groups where she could socialise and expand her circle a bit? Maybe try some craft things together perhaps. Our local domestic abuse charity runs a programme called the freedom programme which is done in small groups. It might be worth her trying something like this as will help her practically and socially. You're not responsible for her and at some point she will need to try and develop a network bigger than you

Iwonder08 · 01/08/2023 22:42

Thank you all, I will try to use the combo of phone Detox and the proposed wording..

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