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Help - need a reading for a funeral

10 replies

weeonionetta · 31/07/2023 23:35

Trigger - stillborn birth.

My dear friend has given birth to her wee boy who was stillborn.

Its so desperately sad as they had tried for years to have a baby and we were all so excited to welcome him into our circle.

of course my friend is devastated.
She has asked me to do a reading at the service which i feel honoured to do and want to do total justice to the parents and the baby.
my friend said it was over to me to pick a suitable one and she trusts me but i am stumped. i dont want to add pressure to her when she has so much going on and to deal with.

i want to find a selection of suitable readings / poems so we can look at them and she can select the one she feels most connected to.

Neither my friend or partner are religious and wont be having a religious service. They are aethiest so any reference to angels or heaven would not be appropriate and i am struggling to know where to look as so much of what i have seen has those kind of references.

does anyone have any suggestions where i could look??

OP posts:
gavisconismyfriend · 31/07/2023 23:43

Have a look at Too Soon by Mary Yarnell and Fingerprints by Tom Krause.

Crunched · 31/07/2023 23:44

From Daylight Atheism by Adam Lee

"Compared to the great vastness of the cosmos, the ocean of deep time, my individual existence is a blip, a bubble in the foam on the surface of a flow...The molecules that once were me will still exist. The atoms that made up my body – iron, carbon, oxygen, nitrogen, all the heavy elements forged in the crucibles of dying stars – will remain. Liberated from their temporary home, they will rejoin the rest of the planet, taking new shapes, finding new arrangements, becoming part of other life. I will become merged with everything.

I will become part of the trees that grow wherever my ashes are scattered, joining the ecosystem of the forest. I will be in the slow green heartwood of the trunks as they patiently tick off the centuries, in the buds that burst forth in spring and in the leaves that explode with color in autumn. I will be the sparkle of sunlight on the surface of a flowing mountain stream. I will sink into the earth and mix with the groundwater, eventually flowing back and rejoining the ocean where all life on this planet ultimately began. I will be in the waves that crash on the shore, in the warm sheltered tidal pools, in the coral reefs that bloom with life, and in the depths that echo with whale songs. I will be subducted into the planet’s core and join the three-hundred-million-year cycle of the continental plates. I will rise into the sky and, in the fullness of time, become dispersed throughout the atmosphere, until every breath will contain part of me.

And billions of years from now, when our sun swells and blasts the Earth’s atmosphere away, I will be there, streaming into space to rejoin the stars that gave my atoms birth. And perhaps some day, billions of years yet beyond that, on some distant planet beneath bright alien skies, an atom that once was part of me will take part in a series of chemical reactions that may ultimately lead to new life – life that will in time leave the sea that gave it birth, crawl up onto the beach, and look up into the cosmos and wonder where it came from.

And the cycle will begin again."

Feliciacat · 31/07/2023 23:45

I am so sorry to hear about the little boy. May he rest in peace.

As for reading ideas; I wonder if there is some kind of humanist database of readings for funerals online? I had a humanist wedding and the vows were exactly the same as the Christian vows except with all religious references removed. So try searching for humanist funeral readings.

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/08/2023 07:22

Seamus Heaney, ‘Elegy on a Still-Born Child’, https://twitter.com/forgottengpoems/status/1437441422601379840?s=61&t=CID1grXlx3-Irx_CyH9wkA

Robert Frost, ‘Nothing Gold Can Stay’ https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/148652/nothing-gold-can-stay-5c095cc5ab679

Flowers
WoolyMammoth55 · 01/08/2023 07:33

How lovely that you are doing this OP and so sorry for your friend's loss.

I personally think the Heaney poem is a bit harsh and wouldn't show it to your friend if I was in your shoes.

How about e.e. cummings? I read this at a funeral once.

Help - need a reading for a funeral
Clawdy · 01/08/2023 07:57

Raymond Carver's Late Fragment is short and lovely.

ThanksItHasPockets · 01/08/2023 09:49

I wouldn’t describe the Heaney as ‘harsh’, although it is certainly visceral. In my experience sometimes it can be a comfort to have something which acknowledges the physicality of losing someone, especially an infant. Equally others find comfort in more metaphysical imagery. OP knows her friend and won’t present her with something that is likely to distress her even further. Good luck, @weeonionetta .

weeonionetta · 01/08/2023 10:06

oh folks - you are all fab and i appreciate this so much.
i am going to spend this evening going through and pulling some examples together for her and her partner to look at with me and they can decide which fits them best.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 01/08/2023 10:10

Clawdy · 01/08/2023 07:57

Raymond Carver's Late Fragment is short and lovely.

It’s beautiful and so appropriate.

I think the Heaney poem is beautiful but not for a funeral.

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