Do you get depressed looking at pictures of younger, carefree self?

[Eastie77Returns]

When you had the world at your feet and didn’t realise? Because of course you don’t when you’re young. I’ve just spent an hour looking through an old online portal of pictures of me and old friends going back to the mid 2000s. Strutting around in slim jeans with that flat stomach that didn’t seem to gain an ounce in weight no matter how much I ate or drank. Living abroad (I left the U.K. when I was 21), meeting new people and learning another language. The chaotic house shares. Had wonderful times and not so great times. But they were the best years of my life and I didn’t know it. Youth is truly wasted on the young. Ah I could weep for my ignorance!

There's absolutely no way I would consider for a second going back to being that insecure, unconfident, socially awkward late teens early 20 something with terrible skin, mental trauma and no money.

I'm approaching my mid 30s, and I've never been happier. My body isnt amazing, but it never was, but I know how to dress now, and I no longer seek the validation of men.

I'm good with where I am now.

My iPhotos has so many pics of me (and far more of other things and people) and I miss that now my DH is dead and no-one snaps me. Not for the vanity, but that I was there and someone wanted to record it.

I was also a teenager in the 90s. I was slimmer too with gorgeous skin & hair. But I didn’t appreciate it at all - I was more focussed on my supposed physical flaws - short, chunky thighs, pale skin etc.
All the teenage boys I knew seemed to only fancy the tall, thin blonde girls and I felt fairly unattractive as a result.

I am way more confident about my looks now even though I look older and I find I actually get far more interest from men now than I ever did when I was younger (not that I particularly want it as am very happy with my DH). I much prefer the feeling of contentment now in my 40s than the insecurity of my teens/20s.

I completely agree that my life is immensely better now in many ways. I have a well paid job, my own house, I'm much more confident in my own skin. Amazing DC. I don't hate my life at all. I suppose I just feel pangs of nostalgia. I agree with a PP that the 90s was a magical time to be a teenager. Uni was free. Lack of intrusive social media. Mobile phones were not a thing in my life until I was late teens. I wouldn't want to be a young person today as I honestly feel sorry for this currently 20 something generation but I sometimes hanker over the young person I was back then.

Also, I felt very unattractive when I was in my teens/early 20s but I look back at photos from that time and think "WTF Eastie, you had so much going for you looks-wise" (not in a boasting tone, I'm just amazed that I thought so little of my perfectly fine appearance!).

I just didn't/couldn't see it.

Yes, all of this.

The optimism! I remember when Labour won. I was barely old enough to vote but it truly felt like something monumental had happened.

Leaving home, striking out on your own...it was exciting. Today so many young people still live at home well into their 20s. It's delayed adulthood and independence for an entire generation.

Also agree re. the anxiety/ADHD/various conditions that seem so prevalent today. I know this will upset some but I truly feel that in general teens back then didn't seem quite as anxious as they do today and I think this is all fueled by Social Media. I shudder to think about some of the stupid/embarrasing stuff I got up to back then ending up on Instagram or being passed around on WhatsApp and feel so fortunate social platforms played no role in my formative years. Obviously anxiety and trauma existed back then but I'm surprised at the number of my younger colleagues at work taking medication for it.

The worse thing is looking at photos of myself when young and realising I was actually quite attractive, I never felt that I was. I wasted so much time worrying about what I looked like and thinking I wasn't good enough when I didn't need to bother at all.

No, I had some horrible boyfriends and some not-so-nice friends who made me feel pretty rubbish about myself in my super-slim 20s. Now in my 40s I am a bit fat and wrinkly but I don't care. I'm surrounded by great people and feel good in my own skin.

Interesting thread
I saw an old photo recently from when I was around 10. I wish I could have hugged and reassured my old self somehow, as I looked so insecure and unsure. Nobody else would have been able to tell but I remember circumstances and feelings at the time. I've kept the photo on my phone to remind me.

I wonder why I didn't feel more confident in teen and older photos. The ageing process isn't marked enough to bother me yet, and my hair is better than in my 20s. It's a good reminder.

Sorry I've waffled on there. It might make sense to someone

No not at all, confidence is much more empowering than smooth skin.
I didn’t have the world at my feet because I didn’t know what I was doing.
If I had the freedom and opportunities I had then coupled with the knowledge I have now I could go places but restoring youthful looks wouldn’t make much difference.

OP is there any way to make your current life a bit more carefree, or bring a bit of adventure back? Maybe that's what you are missing a bit these days.

I wouldn't want to go back to my 20's even though I had a great time. I was so unsure of myself, had bad boyfriends, and flakey friends. I also had lots of adventures, travelled abroad, dabbled in drugs and ended up in a few dodgy places.
I agree that the 90's were great though - remember when MTV played actual music, and you waited for a new music video to come out? And NME and Kerrang magazine, I loved them!

I still wear the same sized clothes these days and work out so my body isn't that different but my head is far more screwed on. I much prefer being a grown up to be honest, and have money to spend on nice clothes, skincare and grooming, and even though I'm staring down the barrel of 40, and life has thrown me some absolute shit in the last few years, I wouldn't trade it for being 20 again.

Not really. I'm happier and more confident now than I was then.

I feel a little sad that I didn't enjoy my teens/early 20s more. It took me a while to learn how to be comfortable in myself and how to connect with other people. I sometimes feel that everyone else was out having more fun, parties, nights out, friends than I was. I also feel a little sad about the state of the country/world now. I agree there was more optimism then. But overall, I feel pretty positive about my own life now and so don't feel depressed looking back.

I have two primary school aged DC and work full time (but lucky enough to have a flexible role and can WFH when I want) so it’s all a bit full on. I find it difficult to switch off and enjoy carefree moments. DP does what he can but mental load etc falls on me. But yes, definitely something to think about and carve out time for.

No. I feel sorry for her

To be fair, it won't be like this forever, you are in the trenches at the moment with young kids. In 5 or 10 years they will be more independent, and hopefully you can get a bit of spontaneity back in your life then.

In the meantime you could think about maybe planning something exciting for the future - a big trip for a few years, or look forward to a new challenge (maybe something fitness related, some people plan on running a marathon etc.) whatever it is - something to focus on for yourself and make you feel adventurous.

I know it's probably difficult right now but the time will pass quite quickly, and you and your partner will get your lives back eventually.