Ds7 and waking up constantly. Please help!

Nissy123 · 2023-07-31T22:16:52+00:00

I am completely at my wits end. I have no idea what to do about my DS7 who just keeps waking constantly in the night. This isn't a new thing, it's been ever since he was born! He used to have bad reflux until a year ago. That's better now. However he constantly wakes, shouts me and says he's scared. I've asked what he's scared about but he says he doesn't know. He always wants to come in my bed but when he does I don't seem to sleep as he hogs the bed. He's getting older and I just want him to sleep in his own bed without waking 4,5,6 times in the night. It's exhausting!! Recently we went on a holiday in the UK. He slept all the way through the night for 2 nights. So he can do it but just not at home. Any thoughts welcome? I'm so tired and atm have little patience.

Newgolddream70 · 31/07/2023 23:43

Hi there. Does he go off to sleep ok without much fuss? My DS8 occasionally wakes but he doesn't call for me, he just gets up, uses the loo then wanders in my room and gets in the bed! He used to wake me when he was a little younger and I tried to settle him with minimal dialogue and go back to bed (several times) but it didn't really work. Sorry, that's not very helpful is it? I know they take up a lot of room but I wouldn't want to be getting into a battle in the middle of the night, I'd let him in the bed, try and get as much sleep as you can and hope that he grows out of it soon (which I'm sure he will). It's the worse feeling being woken in the night so I do sympathise.

Newgolddream70 · 31/07/2023 23:46

Could you change his room around so it looks different? Does he have a light on in his room? I've got those little light up plugs - one in the hallway and one in DS's room.

Tannedandfake · 31/07/2023 23:51

Put him back in his own bed every time

Grannyknowsbest · 31/07/2023 23:51

My 8 year old Grandson does this with his Mum has done like for ever.. just gets up and gets in with her ( he is ASD).. It's comfort .. he gets scared.. you wouldn't want your son to lay there on his own feeling scared?
Other than that it's seeing the GP and getting melatonin?

HappiDaze · 01/08/2023 00:10

I used to have nightmares when I was about 5 and it was the curtains in my room,

the pattern freaked me out as I was falling asleep. I was to young to realise really and too tired to realise

Original poster

Nissy123 · 01/08/2023 07:17

Newgolddream70 · 31/07/2023 23:43

Hi there. Does he go off to sleep ok without much fuss? My DS8 occasionally wakes but he doesn't call for me, he just gets up, uses the loo then wanders in my room and gets in the bed! He used to wake me when he was a little younger and I tried to settle him with minimal dialogue and go back to bed (several times) but it didn't really work. Sorry, that's not very helpful is it? I know they take up a lot of room but I wouldn't want to be getting into a battle in the middle of the night, I'd let him in the bed, try and get as much sleep as you can and hope that he grows out of it soon (which I'm sure he will). It's the worse feeling being woken in the night so I do sympathise.

He falls asleep really quickly and it's almost like clockwork that he wakes at the exact time every night around 11.

OP posts:

Original poster

Nissy123 · 01/08/2023 07:19

Newgolddream70 · 31/07/2023 23:46

Could you change his room around so it looks different? Does he have a light on in his room? I've got those little light up plugs - one in the hallway and one in DS's room.

Yes we discussed changing his room around. I draw out a little map and spoke about it with him.
He says that it freaks him out sleeping where he is atm because he can see out his door. And then the gap at the back of the wardrobe scares him so I've tried putting a blanket in the gap.
He has a nightlight that's bright and the hallway light is always on.

OP posts:

Original poster

Nissy123 · 01/08/2023 07:20

Grannyknowsbest · 31/07/2023 23:51

My 8 year old Grandson does this with his Mum has done like for ever.. just gets up and gets in with her ( he is ASD).. It's comfort .. he gets scared.. you wouldn't want your son to lay there on his own feeling scared?
Other than that it's seeing the GP and getting melatonin?

Obviously I don't want him being scared but he's getting older now and it's good for him to have his own space when sleeping.

OP posts:

homeforme · 01/08/2023 07:21

@Grannyknowsbest

You can't get melatonin from the GP.

homeforme · 01/08/2023 07:24

One of mine was like this, she is now diagnosed autistic. The worst sleeper i have ever known. In the end she co slept and it kind of stopped naturally when she was around 8. Those nights were tough and I absolutely sympathise. We didn't go down the melatonin route for her as DS has been prescribed it and it was only semi effective.

Is there any reason for the bad sleeping OP?

doodledogsh · 01/08/2023 07:26

Grannyknowsbest · 31/07/2023 23:51

My 8 year old Grandson does this with his Mum has done like for ever.. just gets up and gets in with her ( he is ASD).. It's comfort .. he gets scared.. you wouldn't want your son to lay there on his own feeling scared?
Other than that it's seeing the GP and getting melatonin?

Unless your child has additional needs that impact sleep, drugging your children so they are less inconvenient to you during the night isn't the answer (and yes it is drugging even though it's produced naturally in the body you're affecting these natural cycles by taking it.)

Happyface82 · 01/08/2023 07:26

My daughter never slept well. Like your little
One she started with bad reflux and stomach problems but even when this got better the waking never stopped until she was much much older. I tried changing her room around twice. Even got her a bed with a slide (!). It didn't work.

Eventually I seeked professional advice and the only thing that really worked was this:

I was told to explain to her that we all have our own space bla bla bla. Then tell her that her door and my door are always open so even though she will sleep in her bed she can come in for a hug as often as she wants. Giving her control of the situation. She can't sleep with me but she can come, get a hug when she needs it and go back to bed. At firs get she came in a LOT!! I would wake up and she would be standing over my head hehe. But the amount of times she got up gradually got less and less. In a couple of months she would sleep through in her bed.

For us this was a dealbreaker. And at the time she was around 9 so I know how hard it can be!

CobraChicken · 01/08/2023 07:33

What worked for our eldest, who was exactly the same, was a (not very comfortable) foam camping pad and sleeping bag permanently set up on the floor at the end of our bed. He then had the comfort of being near us if he ever felt he needed to, but it wasn't as appealing as our bed. The novelty wore off in a relatively short period of time 😄 and his nightmares just gradually stopped when he knew he could come into our room whenever he chose.

Original poster

Nissy123 · 01/08/2023 07:52

homeforme · 01/08/2023 07:24

One of mine was like this, she is now diagnosed autistic. The worst sleeper i have ever known. In the end she co slept and it kind of stopped naturally when she was around 8. Those nights were tough and I absolutely sympathise. We didn't go down the melatonin route for her as DS has been prescribed it and it was only semi effective.

Is there any reason for the bad sleeping OP?

I have suspected for a while now that he could be neurodiverse. I've been diagnosed ADHD and he seems worse than me. Cannot keep still and his brain is always switched on. He's told me that he can't stop scary thoughts when he wakes up. Among other things.

I know when I was about 9 I used to wake alot in the night but I did try and go back to sleep. Even if I couldn't I didn't wake my parents. He is younger though but I just want my sleep. I'll be starting full time work next month and it's going to kill me

OP posts:

Original poster

Nissy123 · 01/08/2023 07:54

Happyface82 · 01/08/2023 07:26

My daughter never slept well. Like your little
One she started with bad reflux and stomach problems but even when this got better the waking never stopped until she was much much older. I tried changing her room around twice. Even got her a bed with a slide (!). It didn't work.

Eventually I seeked professional advice and the only thing that really worked was this:

I was told to explain to her that we all have our own space bla bla bla. Then tell her that her door and my door are always open so even though she will sleep in her bed she can come in for a hug as often as she wants. Giving her control of the situation. She can't sleep with me but she can come, get a hug when she needs it and go back to bed. At firs get she came in a LOT!! I would wake up and she would be standing over my head hehe. But the amount of times she got up gradually got less and less. In a couple of months she would sleep through in her bed.

For us this was a dealbreaker. And at the time she was around 9 so I know how hard it can be!

Thanks for the advice. Yes maybe I could say this. Only problem is he's scared to get out of bed and walk in the hallway! He says that freaks him out too.
He has a high bed and I was thinking that maybe a lower bed would be less scary?

OP posts:

YukoandHiro · 01/08/2023 07:57

Is there something about his room that isn't working for him? Is his bed comfortable? Maybe a new mattress would help.

Could you switch rooms around? Different curtains to make it darker, or a night light for light?

How about calm music playing all night?

Ds7 and waking up constantly. Please help!

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