Friend irritating me a bit about money

[BingoBastards]

He's a good friend, I stayed Saturday night so bought food and some other things about £40, and gave him £20 for a bottle of spirits - it came to £14 and he didn't give me the change!

Then before I left he asked if I could loan him £50 which I did, I knew already that it's his brother's birthday this week so sort of makes sense.

But this is the 6th time this year he's asked for a loan and I'm starting to feel a bit like a bank...he does pay back, few weeks late sometimes.

So to say nicely I just have to tell him things are really tight and I need to budget? Like I said he's a nice friend but am unhappy that this is becoming so frequent

@Newestname002 the rose was sweet, thank you!

I just need to be forthright and say I don't feel comfortable lending at present, although this makes me feel like a bad friend. It's true that I'm hoping to move soon so need the cash in my account so I can transfer it, he'll repay me in cash but there's no banking branch in his town.

We went to a fair at the weekend and I was surprised he took an interest in a silver jewellery stall, afterwards he said he'd had the idea of friendship rings and it had genuinely never occurred to me he might want a ring so I ordered him a sterling silver ring with an inscription (the fair's stall was only silver plated). I don't want any more jewellery so don't want one for myself.

Think I started this thread to process it, but it just comes down to I want to keep a tight eye on my budget at the moment so don't like unexpected requests. And am being a wuss.

“We went to a fair at the weekend and I was surprised he took an interest in a silver jewellery stall, afterwards he said he'd had the idea of friendship rings and it had genuinely never occurred to me he might want a ring so I ordered him a sterling silver ring with an inscription (the fair's stall was only silver plated). I don't want any more jewellery so don't want one for myself.”

That’s just weird 🤨

What did the inscription say? Something classic like, “neither a borrower of a lender be”? Or more prosaic: “give me back my change, you thief?”

Seriously - it sounds like you want him to be your boyfriend and think spending money on him will achieve that? He just has to mention rings and you rush off to buy him one when you don’t want one, and more than that - you go for a more expensive one.

Why did you do this?! 😳

@Testina what a load of utter rubbish. I am not attracted to my friends in that sense in the slightest.

Ring just said place name so is neutral. It will be his birthday present. I'm not 'rushing off' anywhere in your terminology.

You may not be able to have friendships but I am, I was unhappy about being asked for money 5th time this year so there's a stop to it.

“You may not be able to have friendships but I am”

Go for it with your groundless attacks, I’m not the one who has a “friend” who stole £6 from me, and is having to post about my friends being unreasonable on the internet 🤷🏻‍♀️

Easy to now dripfeed about a birthday present… but the fact is, he only had to say he liked something and you immediately resolved to get him a “better” (more expensive) version - despite starting the thread because you were unsure about his behaviour. You clearly still feel uncomfortable about him using you, or you wouldn’t be make playground level jibes about me not having friends.

You’re one up from, “I know you are because you said you are” there. Just remember, it’s your “friend” sending you to Mumsnet, not mine.