DD18 really bad. Help/advice please.

[WhatDoIDo1999]

Really sorry to repost this. Did post in mental health too.

DD18 has had mental health problems for a while. Depression, anxiety etc. She sleeps all day, doesn’t eat (has had 200 calories in the last 36 hours) she’s lost all interest in life. She literally just lies in bed all day.

Background: Her dad and I broke up 2.5 years ago- she always had a decent relationship with her dad after the split until she found out he had raped me. She cut him off straight away and is very negative towards him but obviously is struggling with not having her dad. Her two younger brothers see him still(they don’t know anything) and I think she feels jealous of them although she is great with the boys and doesn’t display it.

She’s so enthusiastic about meteorology, wants to study it at uni. She did her a levels and has had poor attendance We tried intervention for it with the school to little success. I think she has given up and feels she’s wasted her time so thinks she has failed and won’t get into uni.

As she’s 18 now I’m not really sure where to go for help. She’s told me she thinks she’s fat (she’s 5’11 and weighs 9 stone 7) she very tall and has lost a considerable amount of weight. Her face is gaunt.

It’s heartbreaking to see and I feel so much guilt over the reasons why she’s so down. I was at the time barely managing to keep myself afloat and didn’t see how much she was suffering.
Thank you for reading this far.

She seems to get to a low point, then I manage to get her going again for a bit. Tears, hugs, talking, pushing. She admits she needs help. Then in a few days she’s back to ‘normal’ ie sleeping all day and not eating.
Thank you all for responses. I’ll give them a try.

Mental healthcare for under 18s is just waiting lists. It's not much better for adults but, 111 the whole way to get the process started. You can also try Mind for other resources, also point to crisis team, but GP/medical help most important to stop the spiral.

Ime the crisis team are only available to people already 'in the system'. No advice op, MH care in this country is appalling.

I don't think it does at all. It's sounds to me that @Mischance is comparing her own experience where she has been 'lucky' enough to keep this information from her own child. This really does prove how psychologically damaging this sort of thing can be. I'm sure there was no judgement and it must be very distressing to hear some else sharing your biggest fear.
My sympathy is with both families.

What has happened to you both is hugely traumatic and you both need professional help. Some of the mental health charities are a good starting point to understand all your options. Good luck getting help for her.

Absolutely not blaming OP!!! Perhaps I worded it badly, for which apologies. It is a very emotional topic for me.

Just indicating awareness of how hard it must be for a child, at whatever age, to process this information and to have to revise their view of their father and indeed their childhood. This is why I have never told them ... and it is very hard to hear them extolling his virtues (of which there were many) .... but they need their own memories.

God knows what I would have done if they had found out. My heart is with the OP and her quest to find the right help for DD. I hope one of the suggested sources will be able to help.